Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.
On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners in our cue cards series on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
NFL One Liners
Panthers 23, Bills 24 — Buffalo Bills win dramatically on a touchdown pass thrown by rookie quarterback EJ Manuel with two seconds left in the game; wonder how many games the coach of the Panthers has left before he is fired?
Vikings 30, Bears 31 — Our second game that went down to the wire. This time the Bears got a touchdown with 10 seconds remaining to win the game. Vikings quarterback Christian Ponder left pondering what could have been if his name wasn’t Ponder. Ponder.
Redskins 20, Packers 38 — Maybe the Redskins’ poor start shouldn’t be surprising considering their quarterback, Robert Griffin III, tore his ACL less than 9 months ago; or maybe Aaron Rodgers and the Packers are really good at offensive football.
Dolphins 24, Colts 20 — Colts quarterback Andrew Luck could not create a dramatic comeback against the surprisingly 2-0 Miami Dolphins.
Rams 24, Falcons 31 — The Rams are seemingly on a quest to become a team like the Falcons; close, but no cigar.
Browns 6, Ravens 14 — Defending Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens rebound from a bad first week loss with a win against a bad team.
Cowboys 16, Chiefs 17 — Long-time former Eagles coach Andy Reid, now coaching the Chiefs, has the ability to beat old Eagles Rival, Dallas Cowboys, in his muscle memory.
Titans 24, Texans 30 — NFL games barely ever go to overtime, but this one did.
Chargers 33, Eagles 30 — The Eagles are supposed to have a revolutionary, fast moving offense, and they do, but today the Chargers out-paced and out-scored them.
Lions 21, Cardinals 25 — It’s a little hard to say this early in the season but it seems like the Cardinals are a good bad team and the Lions are a bad good team. Today the good bad team beat the bad good team. Go figure.
Saints 16, Buccaneers 14 — The Buccaneers spent all week acting like a bad reality show with feuding between coach and players but they were still able to almost beat the Saints. Who will get kicked off the island in this next week’s episode of The Buccaneers? Could be quarterback Josh Freeman.
Broncos 41, Giants 23 — Called the “Manning Bowl” because the quarterbacks of the teams are brothers Peyton and Eli Manning, this was a victory for older brothers everywhere. (Hey Jess!)
Jaguars 9, Raiders 19 — The team that everyone thought would be the worst team in the league before the year started beat the team everyone now thinks is the worst in the league.
49ers 3, Seahawks 29 — This was the most anticipated game of the weekend but it turned out to be a dud. Between the hour-long lightning delay filled with inane chatter and the lopsided score… I need to see Colin Kaepernick
without an eyebrow to be happy.
The Good and the Ugly of Fantasy Football
Players that fantasy owners will be grouching about — Colin Kaepernick, Maurice Jones-Drew, Frank Gore, and Larry Fitzgerald.
Players that fantasy owners will be crowing about — Marshawn Lynch, Michael Vick, Knowshown Moreno, and Pierre Garcon.
Related
Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.