Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.
On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners in our cue cards series on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
NFL One Liners
Indianapolis 28, Cincinnati 42 — The Bengals and the Colts were both in first place of their divisions before this game and both remain so after the game. Nothing to see here, let’s move on.
Atlanta 21, Green Bay 22 — The Packers have been trying to keep their playoff hopes alive for the last month while their star quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, heals from a fractured collarbone. Today’s victory over the hapless Falcons gives Rodgers a chance to come back next week and play the prodigal son role.
Cleveland 26, New England 27 — This result probably suits both teams just fine. The Browns are on their way to a better draft pick and the Patriots are on their way to the playoffs. The only negative aspect is that Patriots star tight-end Rob Gronkowski left the game with what is rumored to be a torn ACL.
Oakland 27, New York Jets 37 — These teams are bad and they didn’t even play in a snow storm. BORING!
Detroit 20, Philadelphia 34 — These teams are relatively good and they played in about a foot and a half of snow. AWESOME!
Miami 34, Pittsburgh 28 — My brother has a hard time reconciling the fact that the players on each team are not actually from the team’s location. The fact that the Miami team went to Pittsburgh, played in the snow and wind, and won, should help convince him.
Buffalo 6, Tampa Bay 27 — Buccaneers running back Bobby Rainey ran for an 80 yard touchdown in the first few minutes of the game and his team never looked back.
Kansas City 45, Washington 10 — I suspect that when the shutdown ended a few months ago, it was mistakenly shifted from the government to the football team.
Minnesota 26, Baltimore 29 — This game was 12-7 with less than three minutes left. And it didn’t go to overtime. The teams scored five touchdowns in the final 2:05 of the game. It’s insanity may only be matched by its impact for the Ravens and their fans if they make the playoffs because of it.
Tennessee 28, Denver 51 — After a brief detour, the Broncos train to the Super Bowl seems back on track.
St. Louis 10, Arizona 30 — There’s an old joke that goes, “Poor Mexico. So far from God, and so close to the United States.” Same could be said of both of these teams in relation to the other two teams in their division, the 49ers and Seahawks, whose dominance makes their fine play pale in comparison.
New York Giants 14, San Diego 37 — Both these teams vacillate wildly in terms of quality of play. Today the Chargers were up and the Giants were down but neither one is going to make the playoffs.
Seattle 17, San Francisco 19 — You know it was a rough game when the winning coach compared it to getting root canal.
Carolina 13, New Orleans 31 — The Panthers had won eight games in a row, but the Saints were unbeaten at home. Something had to give and in this case it wasn’t the gumbo.