Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.
On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners in our cue cards series on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
NFL One Liners
Washington 26, Atlanta 27 — This game was a hysterical melodrama as acted by below average football teams. At one point in the game there were three turnovers on successive plays. In total there were seven fumbles! The Falcons won when the Redskins decided to try to win the game on a two point conversion in the final minute instead of tying the game and going to overtime.
Chicago 38, Cleveland 31 — The Bears coach made the brave decision to give the starting quarterback job back to Jay Cutler who had missed the past several games with an injury and whose replacement had been playing great. Cutler played well but not flawlessly and the coach would have taken a lot of criticism if the team had lost.
Houston 3, Indianapolis 25 — Ouch, sorry Texans.
New England 20, Miami 24 — This game will be seen as a referendum on the Patriots’ Super Bowl chances after losing their star tight-end, Rob Gronkowski for the season with torn knee ligaments at the end of the previous game.
Philadelphia 30, Minnesota 48 — Oh Philadelphia, after beating Detroit in the snow to take first place in their division last week, this game against the not-so-good Vikings should have been an easy win. Instead, third-string running back, Matt Asiata, who not even the most obsessive fantasy football fan had heard of before this week, ran for three touchdowns and the rout was on.
Seattle 23, New York Giants 0 — Talking about routs. Ugh. Not a great day in New York.
San Francisco 33, Tampa Bay 14 — The 49ers are a big strong team that beats up consistently on weaker teams like the Buccaneers.
Buffalo 27, Jacksonville 20 — The Bills won the game but at least half their fans are probably pissed at them for giving the Jaguars a better draft pick. Draft position is set in reverse order of standings, so a game like this between two teams at the bottom of the standings often has mixed incentives.
Kansas City 56, Oakland 31 — The Chiefs went up 21-3 in the first quarter and never let up.
New York Jets 20, Carolina 30 — Like I said before, not a good day in New York for the football inclined.
Green Bay 37, Dallas 36 — In hysterically typical fashion, the Cowboys who are known for blowing leads, and Tony Romo, who is known for throwing terrible interceptions at the worst possible moment, blew a 23 point lead aided by Tony Romo’s two interceptions in the last two minutes of the game.
Arizona 37, Tennessee 34 — It’s really a shame that division winners automatically get playoff spots because it means either the Eagles or the Cowboys will get in and Arizona, which is 9-5 but third place in their division, will probably miss out.
New Orleans 16, St. Louis 27 — The Rams, the fourth team in the NFC West with the Cardinals, 49ers, and Seahawks, showed its own strength by beating the 10-4 Saints.
Cincinnati 20, Pittsburgh 30 — Big brother reaches back in time and beats little brother even though the little brother Bengals are going to the playoffs while the big brother Steelers are going home early this year.