The NFL season has started but how do you know which games to watch and which to skip? Ask our favorite police duo with their good cop, bad cop precaps of all the Week 1 matchups in the National Football League this weekend. To see which games will be televised in your area, check out 506sports.com’s essential NFL maps. If you’re worried about watching too much football or if you’re negotiating for a little break during the weekend, read our weekly feature, Do Not Watch This Game.
Week 2
Sunday, September 14, at 1:00 p.m. ET
Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills
Good cop: The Dolphins and Bills are both 1-0 after surprising victories in week one! After this game, one team will be 2-0!
Bad cop: You did say, “surprising,” didn’t you? I’m surprised that you’re so enthusiastic about this matchup between teams that are going to inevitably fall apart, just like they do every year.
New Orleans Saints at Cleveland Browns
Good cop: Both teams are coming off high scoring, close losses to rivals! This one should be good!
Bad cop: Cleveland’s loss to Pittsburgh looks a little less like a sign of quality after Pittsburgh’s sad showing versus the Ravens. This is going to get ugly fast.
Detroit Lions at Carolina Panthers
Good cop: Wow, did you see Detroit wide receiver Calvin Johnson last game? He’s unbelievable! I can’t wait to see what he does this week!
Bad cop: Teal and Honolulu blue together are an eyesore. Just like this game.
Atlanta Falcons at Cincinnati Bengals
Good cop: I can’t wait to learn more about these two teams! Both looked great in week one, what will happen in week two?!!
Bad cop: One team will win, one team will lose, and you will overreact like a crazy person.
Dallas Cowboys at Tennessee Titans
Good cop: That wasn’t very nice! You’re not very nice! This game is nice though! Both teams have great pass offenses — should be fun!
Bad cop: Now you’re starting to understand. I’m Bad Cop. I’m not nice. Neither is this game. Both teams are awful. Why would you watch this junk?
Jacksonville Jaguars at Washington Redskins
Good cop: The Jaguars got off to a great start last week with 17 straight points! The Redskins didn’t play well but how long can you hold them down? They’ve got such explosive offensive players!
Bad cop: You’re not mentioning the 34 unanswered points the Jaguars allowed after that first 17. And the Redskins lost 17 to 6 to the Titans. Come on.
New England Patriots at Minnesota Vikings
Good cop: Bill Bellichick and Tom Brady are angry after their week one loss! I don’t understand that emotion but I think it makes for entertaining football games!
Bad cop: Ha ha ha. You’re funny, an emotion I don’t understand well. Another thing I don’t understand is how you think the Vikings are going to have a chance against the Patriots here. Boring.
Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants
Good cop: The Cardinals looked good last week!
Bad cop: The Giants looked horrible last week.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET
Seattle Seahawks at San Diego Chargers
Good cop: The defending champs against many people’s favorite long-shot to win the Super Bowl this year!
Bad cop: Seattle? With ten days rest? Against San Diego with six? Blowout.
St. Louis Rams at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Good cop: These teams both have great defenses!
Bad cop: These teams both have incompetent offenses.
Kansas City Chiefs at Denver Broncos
Good cop: Division rivals! Two playoff teams from last year!
Bad cop: Ha. You walked right into the trap. Read this week’s Do Not Watch This Game.
New York Jets at Green Bay Packers
Good cop: Gang Green against Green Bay! So much green!
Bad cop: I don’t even understand. How does that make me want to watch this game?
Houston Texans at Oakland Raiders
Good cop: I was just trying to distract you from this game! Even I don’t want to watch this game!
Bad cop: Really? I do. I love train wrecks.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Chicago Bears at San Francisco 49ers
Good cop: This game has everything! Two great coaches! Two exciting quarterbacks! Dynamic wide receivers! Solid running backs! Strong defenses!
Bad cop: A classic ‘too good to be true’ game. Something will happen to mess it up.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Philadelphia Eagles at Indianapolis Colts
Good cop: A great test of system vs. singular talent! Philadelphia’s got a remarkable offensive system but Colts quarterback is an amazing talent! I can’t wait to see them compete!
Bad cop: You do know that the offenses don’t play against each other, right? They both have bad defenses.