On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by Google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
Week 2
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, AT 1:00 P.M. ET
Miami Dolphins 10, at Buffalo Bills 29
This past week, Buffalo got a new owner for the Bills who is likely to keep them in Buffalo instead of moving to Toronto or somewhere else. The Bills capped off a good week for them with a victory over the Dolphins.
New Orleans Saints 24, at Cleveland Browns 26
Mirage or reality? Both teams are wondering that after the ordinarily terrible Browns start the season respectably and the Saints start the season disrespectfully.
Detroit Lions 7, at Carolina Panthers 24
Panthers quarterback Cam Newton returns from bruised ribs and makes the Lions’ defense look like figs. (I am allowed one Fig Newton joke per year.)
Atlanta Falcons 10, at Cincinnati Bengals 24
The Bengals continue to be a really good team that doesn’t get the credit they deserve, I think maybe because they wear animal print uniforms and have a red-headed quarterback.
Dallas Cowboys 26, at Tennessee Titans 10
The Cowboys have become such a soap-opera that its surprising when they win a boring, well-played football game like this one.
Jacksonville Jaguars 10, at Washington Redskins 41
The big story here isn’t the convincing win but the dislocated ankle of Washington’s quarterback, Robert Griffin III. He was replaced ably by Kirk Cousins who, an infinite number of bloggers and media pundits will tell you, just might not relinquish the job even when RGIII’s ankle is healed. Drama!
New England Patriots 30, at Minnesota Vikings 7
Good team beats less good team missing their star running back because he was arrested for child abuse. Gah!
Arizona Cardinals 25, at New York Giants 10
After the first week, many people suspected the Giants were bad. Now, after losing at home to a team who had to start their backup quarterback at the last-minute, that suspicion is confirmed.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, AT 4:05 AND 4:25 P.M. ET
Seattle Seahawks 21, at San Diego Chargers 30
Down go the champs! Arm-chair sports psychiatrists will tell you this is actually a good sign for the Seahawks because it keeps them from getting too cocky.
St. Louis Rams 19, at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17
Third string quarterback, Austin Davis, started this game for the Rams because of injuries to the top two quarterbacks and played well enough for the Rams to beat the Bucs.
Kansas City Chiefs 17, at Denver Broncos 24
Oddly, this close defeat may be the high point of the season for the Chiefs who just seem cursed this year. They lost another two important players, Jamaal Charles and Eric Berry to injury today.
New York Jets 24, at Green Bay Packers 31
Both teams are 1-1, both teams wear green, and we’ll have to wait at least one more week to figure out if both teams are good, bad, or just middle of the road.
Houston Texans 30, at Oakland Raiders 14
No such questions here, the Raiders are bad! Sorry Oakland fans.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 14, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Chicago Bears 28, at San Francisco 49ers 20
The story of this game was penalties. So many penalties! The announcers, much to my amusement, didn’t even bother to hide their disdain for the number of penalties in the game. After pulling out to an early lead, the 49ers kinda fell apart and Chicago came back to win.