On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by Google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
Week 5
Sunday, October 5, at 1:00 p.m. ET
Buffalo Bills 17, at Detroit Lions 14
The first of a series of extremely close games this week. The Bills beat the Lions on a last minute 58 yard field goal. That’s an incredibly difficult feat. Kickers are not totally accepted in the football fraternity but when you need them, it’s good to have a good one.
Line: I guess benching quarterback EJ Manuel was a good idea for the Bills.
Baltimore Ravens 13, at Indianapolis Colts 20
Two good teams played a pretty good game. One won but they’ll both be fine in the long term.
Line: When in doubt, go with the better quarterback. Andrew Luck on the Colts is better than most.
Chicago Bears 24, at Carolina Panthers 31
The Bears continue to torture their fan base by looking like a supremely talented team… and then losing. Meanwhile, in an attempt to prove how crazy football players really are, Panthers quarterback Cam Newton had four wisdom teeth taken out in the last week and played professional football on Sunday.
Line: Can you imagine having four wisdom teeth taken out and then playing football a few days later?
Houston Texans 17, at Dallas Cowboys 20
The battle of Texas was won by big-brother Dallas but little-brother Houston really made them work for it. The whole “battle of Texas” thing is probably more of a media creation than a real rivalry because the two teams play in different divisions and conferences but it sure made for a good game anyway.
Line: Love them or hate them, the Cowboys do seem to play in an inordinate number of exciting games.
Pittsburgh Steelers 17, at Jacksonville Jaguars 9
The Jaguars fall to 0-5 making them one of only two unvictorious teams left. They’re really just not as good at football as the rest of the teams.
Line: The Jaguars will probably win a game at some point but it’s hard to imagine when.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 31, at New Orleans Saints 37
The second overtime game of the day, two weeks ago the Buccaneers had just been humiliated on national television and were winless. Now they’ve won one game and taken another good team to overtime. Although, really, how sure are we that the Saints are good? Not very.
Line: This game says more about the Saints (in a bad way) than it does about the Buccaneers (in a good way.)
Atlanta Falcons 20, at New York Giants 30
This game was a microcosm of the Giants’ season so far. They fell behind 20-10 just like they started the year 0-2. Then they seemed to get their act together and came back to score the next twenty points just like they’ve won the last three games to get to 3-2.
Line: When Eli Manning retires from football he should go right to his next career as the villain in a zombie movie. Every time you think he’s down, he rises back up.
St. Louis Rams 28, at Philadelphia Eagles 34
The fate of the Rams seems to be to scare teams but not to beat them this year. The Eagles, on the other hand, are specialists this year in finding ways to win without looking all that dominant.
Line: The Eagles look like the weakest 4-1 team I can remember seeing.
SUNDAY, October 5, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET
Arizona Cardinals 20, at Denver Broncos 41
This game exemplifies the current era of the NFL. A good offense beats a good defense every time. The Broncos have a great offense and the Cardinals have a very good defense. It wasn’t close.
Line: A good offense beats a good defense every time.
Kansas City Chiefs 17, at San Francisco 49ers 22
A couple years ago, the 49ers decided to move on from Quarterback Alex Smith and go with Colin Kaepernick. Smith went to play in Kansas City and Kaepernick took over the starting job in San Francisco. Since then, both quarterbacks have played extremely well. Today, Smith’s old team beat his new team but there’s no shame in that.
Line: Football is a team game. It’s too simple to make it into Smith vs. Kaepernick or any one player against another.
New York Jets 0, at San Diego Chargers 31
Whoa. Uh oh. The New York media was out for struggling Jets quarterback Geno Smith after last week’s poor performance and slight misbehavior (he cursed at some fans.) I can’t imagine how hard their going to slam him this week.
Line: Smith’s time as a starter in NY might be done.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 5, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Cincinnati Bengals 17, at New England Patriots 43
The NFL stands for the National Football League but people often say it stands for the No Fun League or the Not For Long league. This game was an exhibition of why people call it the Not For Long league. The Bengals were undefeated coming into the game an the Patriots had just spent a week in an existential crisis over old-age and poor performance. Not for long!
Line: I guess Tom Brady and Bill Bellichick still remember how to win.
Football so “dominates the conversation” — indeed. With these wonderful MLB playoffs going on, the ESPN landing page throughout yesterday and into this morning is the NFL; and in particular the Brady/Belichick (genuflect) miniseries.
For gosh sakes, I had to navigate the ESPN site a little more than I would have liked to in order to learn that the Royals swept the Angels.
And I like football. But October baseball should trump it.
I just wasn’t made for these times.