The NFL season has started but how do you know which games to watch and which to skip? Ask our favorite police duo with their good cop, bad cop precaps of all the matchups in the National Football League this weekend. To see which games will be televised in your area, check out 506sports.com’s essential NFL maps.
Week 14
Sunday, December 7, at 1:00 p.m. ET
Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins
Good cop: This is basically a playoff game! Win and you have an inside track to the playoffs! Lose and you’re on a fast track to vacation!
Bad cop: “Inside track?” “Fast track?” You lose some money at the race track this weekend?
Indianapolis Colts at Cleveland Browns
Good cop: All week, the story has been about whether the Browns would give the starting quarterback job back to Brian Hoyer or move on to rookie Johnny Manziel!! People are missing the real story which is that the Browns are in the perfect situation to win this game and get back into the playoff race!
Bad cop: Nope. The real story is that the Browns are reverting back to classic, losing Cleveland Browns fashion with two bad losses in the last three games.
Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals
Good cop: Nothing is settled in the AFC North playoff race because the Steelers haven’t played the Browns yet! Their two games against each other in the final four weeks of the season will decide who wins the division!
Bad cop: You’re forgetting that after this week, the Ravens play the Jaguars, Texans, and Browns. That’s three easy wins and a playoff spot for them.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions
Good cop: It’s been a week and a half since the Lions won on Thanksgiving! Don’t forget about them! They’re 8-4 and one game behind the Green Bay Packers for the NFC North title!
Bad cop: No one is sleeping on the Lions. You don’t sleep around Lions unless you want to be sleeping with the fishes.
Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars
Good cop: The Texans need to win this game to stay alive for a playoff spot but I have to say, after the Jaguars beat the Giants last week, I think they trip up the Texans too!
Bad cop: It doesn’t matter — the Texans are a mediocre team that’s only beat bad teams (the Titans, Browns, and the Titans again) lately. Lucky for them, they have the Jaguars twice in their last four games. They’ll end the year 8-8 and just miss the playoffs.
New York Jets at Minnesota Vikings
Good cop: Jets wide receiver, Percy Harvin, returns to Minnesota to play against his old team!
Bad cop: And still, he doesn’t have a quarterback that can get him the ball reliably. The more things change…
New York Giants at Tennessee Titans
Good cop: Did you see Giants receiver, Odell Beckham’s catch last week?! If that guy’s playing, I’m watching!
Bad cop: You wrote that last week. Get some new… oh, I just watched the video again. Okay, this is a terrible game, but I’m in.
St. Louis Rams at Washington Redskins
Good cop: Washington’s tour of referendum, that started last week against the Colts, continues against the Rams, the team they traded so many draft picks to in order to select Robert Griffin III a few years ago! Who won the trade?!
Bad cop: No one did. The Rams still stink and RGIII has probably played his last game for Washington. Both teams lost.
SUNDAY, December 7, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET
Buffalo Bills at Denver Broncos
Good cop: If any visiting team can handle the Denver weather, it’s Buffalo!!
Bad cop: Weather? Denver is the sunniest city in the country. It snows all the time in Buffalo. You’re just trying to distract our readers from the travesty of beat-down that will be this game. Broncos win by 36 points.
Kansas City Chiefs at Arizona Cardinals
Good cop: Let’s see if the Cardinals can stanch the bleeding and save their season against the Chiefs! After starting 9-1, the Cardinals have lost two in a row! They need to win this game!
Bad cop: But they’re not going to. It’s sad, I like the Cardinals but their season is over.
San Francisco 49ers at Oakland Raiders
Good cop: Time for the 49ers to right the ship in Oakland!
Bad cop: Seems like if there’s a scenario in which Raiders would thrive, it would be keeping someone from righting a ship. Alas, they do not thrive in a football setting.
Seattle Seahawks at Philadelphia Eagles
Good cop: This could be an NFC Championship preview! It’s the perfect contrast of style and skill: the Eagles offense against the Seahawks defense!
Bad cop: This game is not totally unwatchable, I suppose.
SUNDAY, December 7, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers
Good cop: This is a literal rematch of the 2007-2008 AFC Championship which Chargers quarterback Phillip Rivers played with a torn ACL! That’s tough!
Bad cop: As Chico said in Monkey Business, “You pay us too much, we’re too much tough.”
MONDAY, December 8, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Atlanta Falcons at Green Bay Packers
Good cop: As good as the last two months has been for the Packers, they only have a one game lead over the Detroit Lions for their division lead! They need to win this game!
Bad cop: They will. Remember that prime time game earlier this year when Atlanta went out to something like a 50-0 lead over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? That’s how bad this game is going to be but reversed.