Category: Cue Cards

What happened on Monday, November 10?

  1. Eagles outclass Panthers: I suppose it’s fitting for the NFL game the night before Veterans’ Day to be won by a team that uses our national bird as their name. The Eagles scored on defense, special teams, and offense last night in beating the Panthers 45-21. The Panthers, who made the playoffs last year, have now lost four games in a row.
    Line: Looks like the Eagles really didn’t miss a beat with new starting quarterback Mark Sanchez.
  2. Seattle and Dallas tie, Seattle wins: The Seattle Sounders went into their Major League Soccer playoff game last night knowing that they would advance to the next round with a win or a 0-0 or 1-1 tie. They went for the 0-0 tie and their home crowd, wise to the ways of the soccer playoffs, didn’t mind one bit.
    Line: Sometimes in soccer, a 0-0 tie is really a win for one team.
    What’s next: Game one of the Western Semifinals between the Seattle Sounders and the L.A. Galaxy is 5:30 pm E.T. on Sunday November 23, on ESPN.
  3. Spurs get late run to beat Clippers: The defending champion San Antonio Spurs leaned heavily on last year’s finals MVP, Kawhi Leonard to beat the Clippers 89-85. Leonard scored 26 points despite not being able to see very well out of one eye because he’s still recovering from a nasty case of pink eye. I repeat he scored 26 points against professional competition despite not being able to see very well out of one eye. And I have trouble making an uncontested layup.
    Line: Kawhi Leonard, even with one eye, is better at basketball than most humans.
  4. LeBron’s triple double leads the Cavs to a win: In basketball, a double double is when a player records double digits in two main statistical categories, most frequently points and assists. A triple double is an ever rarer feat which calls for a player to score double digits in three categories. It’s a sign of a well-rounded player absolutely dominating a game. LeBron James recorded a triple double last night with 32 points, 12 rebounds, and 10 assists and his team, the Cleveland Cavaliers, beat the New Orleans Pelicans 118 to 111.
    Line: Now that’s the LeBron the Cleveland fans have been waiting for!

What happened on Sunday, November 9, 2014?

  1. Football, football, football: Good football games. Bad football games. Close football games. Lopsided football games. We’ve got them all covered in our NFL One Liners column.
    Line: No time to watch football? Just read Dear Sports Fan’s One Liners instead.
  2. Major League Soccer playoffs: The New England Revolution beat the Columbus Crew 3-1 to advance to the Eastern Finals where they will play the New York Red Bulls. The Los Angeles Galaxy got a hat-trick (three goals) from their retiring captain, Landon Donovan, on their way to advancing to the next round. They beat Real Salt Lake 5-0.
    Line: Landon Donovan’s still has some energy in his legs and tricks up his sleeve.
    What’s Next: The last conference final spot is up for grabs tonight at 10:30 p.m. ET on NBC Sports Network when the Seattle Sounders play F.C. Dallas in the second leg of their two game playoff series. The two teams ties the first leg in Dallas 1-1, so to advance, Dallas will need to win the game or tie it at a score higher than 1-1.
  3. California Basketball teams play Trading Places: Last night the until then undefeated Golden State Warriors lost their first game of the season, 107-95 to the Phoenix Suns while the unvictorious Lakers won their first game of the season 107-92 over the Charlotte Hornets.
    Line: You can’t keep a good team down forever. Or a mediocre one, it seems. Nor can you keep a good team up forever.
  4. Second place not enough in NASCAR’s Elimination round: NASCAR has a playoffs of its own which I don’t completely understand but should probably figure out. Yesterday’s race was the semifinals of the championship where the eligible field (more drivers race in each individual race than are eligible for the championship) was narrowed from eight to four. The top four spots didn’t change and Jeff Gordon was eliminated despite placing second in the race.
    Line: I get the feeling that NASCAR’s playoffs are pretty awesome, I’ve just never spent the time to understand how they work.

What Happened on Thursday, November 6?

  1. An Orange Brown-out in Cincinnati: The Cleveland Browns beat the Cincinnati Bengals 24-3 in an NFL game that was difficult to watch, partially because strong winds kept the offenses grounded and partially because the fact that both teams have the same color palette made it difficult to tell them apart. In any event, the Browns are now tied for first place in their division but with seven games remaining, anything could still happen, the teams are so tightly bunched.
    Line: Brown beat Orange but to tell you the truth, I had trouble figuring out which team was which. Why don’t they have required secondary colors like in Soccer?
  2. Spurs rest and lose: The San Antonio Spurs are a team that wisely rests their older players in the second game of stretches when they have two games in two nights. It’s smart because it keeps them from getting injured in what is only a handful of the 82 games that make up the NBA season. It’s unfortunate that sometimes this falls during what would otherwise have been an exciting, nationally televised game. Last night, the Spurs rested some of their best players and the Houston Rockets zoomed by them, 98-81.
    Line: I know the Spurs do this just to be smart but sometimes it feels like they’re doing it just to annoy the league.
  3. Demon Deacons fight hard: The Clemson Tigers were supposed to crush the Wake Forest Demon Deacons but the Demon Deacons determinedly decided to defy expectations. Oh, they still lost, but 34-20 is a thoroughly respectable score.
    Line: Clemson won but not by as much as I expected them to.
  4. Lightning extinguish Flames: Team nicknames are fun, especially when they lead to unlikely events like lightning extinguishing a fire. The Calgary Flames have been one of the most surprising teams so far in the hockey season. After five straight years missing the playoffs, they’ve looked every bit a playoff team this year. They went into Tampa Bay having won their last three games but lost last night to the Lightning, 5-2.
    Line: I’m surprised at how well both teams are playing but especially the Flames.

What happened on Wednesday, November 5, 2014

  1. Barcelona strolls, Manchester City stumbles: The UEFA Champions league had six or seven games running simultaneously yesterday mid-afternoon. Of them, two were on national TV, Barcelona vs. Ajax and Manchester City vs. CSKA Moscow. I recommended (and followed my own suggestion) watching the Barcelona vs. Ajax game but the other game turned out to be more interesting. Ajax put up good fight throughout most of the first half but once Messi scored for Barcelona, Ajax’s eventual defeat was obvious. Meanwhile, over in Manchester, exciting things were happening. The scoring came early — by half-time it was 2-1 in favor of CSKA Moscow. The second half was characterized by Manchester City’s desperate and violent attempt to even the game at two, which was rewarded only with two red card ejections. The game ended 11-9 in terms of players and 2-1 in terms of scoring.
    Line: It’s hard to predict which game is going to be the most exciting to watch!
  2. Drama on Sixth Ave: The New York Rangers played host to the Detroit Red Wings last night and won in dramatic fashion more suitable to Broadway than Sixth Ave. I guess Madison Square Garden is only a block or so from Broadway. The Rangers were winning 3-2 in the last minute of the game when the Red Wings pulled their goalie and scored a goal with 7.7 seconds left to tie the game and force overtime. In overtime, the Rangers rallied back from the emotional upset of being less than ten seconds away from a win, and scored to end the game – 4 to 3.
    Line: The Rangers won dramatically last night, huh?
  3. Adjustment woes continue for Lebron and Co.: The big story of the night in the NBA wasn’t the Washington Wizards edging the Indiana Pacers by two points in overtime or the Golden State Warriors outscoring the Los Angeles Clippers 121-104, it was LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers losing to the Utah Jazz to fall to one win and three losses on the year. When LeBron chose to come back to Cleveland and moreover, when he finagled a trade to bring friend and fellow all-star Kevin Love to the team, the expectations for the team went sky high. I don’t think anyone expected them to start the season so poorly. Basketball talk today will be all about whether or not its too early to panic.
    Line: It is/isn’t too early to panic for the Cavs.

What Happened on Tuesday, November 4

  1. Liverpool loses but only by a little: Liverpool was expected to be blown out by star-studded Real Madrid but managed to hold them to one goal in a 1-0 defeat. Liverpool’s coach made a controversial decision to actually not play some of his best (but older) players to rest them for an important game this weekend in the British Premiere League. This game vs. Real Madrid was part of the UEFA Champions League. All these different leagues make following European soccer bewildering at times but the British Premiere League is like a normal NBA/NFL/NHL league while the Champions League is different. Here’s how the Champions League works.
    Line: As losses go, it wasn’t a bad one for Liverpool.
  2. The rich keep winning: In the NHL, the two games were were keeping an eye on were the St. Louis Blues at New Jersey Devils and the Pittsburgh Penguins at Minnesota Wild. The Blues were on a five game winning streak and the Penguins on a four game streak. Both of them continued their streaks by winning last night. The Blues beat the Devils 1-0 and the Penguins beat the Wild 4-1.
  3. Line: It’s early still but the Blues and the Penguins look good.
  4. Matchup of unbeaten teams: The NBA lineup last night featured a matchup of two unbeaten teams, the Houston Rockets at the Miami Heat. These two teams were both pleasant early season surprises for their fans because they both kind of struck out during the off-season. The Heal lost LeBron James to free-agency and the Rockets lost Chandler Parsons and weren’t able to lure anyone else to play with them, not even the Heat’s Chris Bosh who they targeted aggressively. The game itself wasn’t that close — the Rockets won 108 – 91.
    Line: With all the noise about the Cavaliers, these two teams deserve some respect and attention as well.

What happened on Monday, November 3, 2014?

 

  1. The Colts of the Luck: The only luck the Indianapolis Colts needed to beat the New York Giants was their quarterback Andrew Luck. And other “luck” puns. Lots of them. About as many puns as touchdowns in the 40-24 thrashing the Colts gave the Giants last night.
    Line: [I recommend coming up with your own “luck” pun!]
  2. Blues over Blueshirts: In the only NHL game on the calendar last night, the St. Louis Blues beat the New York Rangers. The Rangers are one of the Original Six teams and have worn blue shirts for so long that they’re known as the Blueshirts. So, you know… more happy wordplay. This game went into a shoot-out so the Rangers get one point in the standings even though they lost.
    Line: The Blues are on a five game winning streak now. No shame in losing to them.
  3. Home sweet home in the NBA: The Brooklyn Nets won their first home game of the season in convincing fashion, 116-85 over the Oklahoma City Thunder. The Thunder are missing their best two players for at least a month, so beating up on the generally weaker Eastern Conference is a must if they’re going to stay within shooting distance of the playoffs in the insanely tough Western Conference this year. The Memphis Grizzlies beat the New Orleans Pelicans 93-81 to continue two streaks. First, they’re 4-0 for the season. That’s impressive. Second, they’re now 16-0 in their last 16 games at home.
    Line: Must be that Memphis/Brooklyn barbecue!

What happened on Sunday, November 2, 2014?

  1. Football happened: As is true on all fall Sundays, the biggest sports story was the National Football League. Six teams had the weekend off, so there were fewer games than on most weekends. That’ll make catching up on them easier, especially if you read our NFL One Liners.
  2. Major League Soccer playoffs: America’s men’s professional soccer league began its semifinals this weekend. They are organized as a home-and-home or two-leg series. That means each semi-final consists of two games (called legs) one at each team’s home field. Yesterday, the D.C. United lost to the NY Red Bulls 2-0 and FC Dallas tied Seattle’s Sounders FC 1-1. It’s weird to have ties in the playoffs, but that just means the second leg of the series will decide the outcome.
    Line: Ties in the playoffs? What’s up with that?
  3. Are the Miami Heat Mark Twain? After losing LeBron James during the off-season, a lot of people (myself included) thought the Miami Heat were going to be a bad basketball season this year. They’ve come out at the start of the season and answered their critics by rattling off three straight wins. Last night they beat the Toronto Rapters 107-102.
    Line: I guess the Heat are still going to be okay, even without LeBron James.
  4. Flames off to a hot (get it? get it?) start: Talk about surprising teams at the start of the season! In the NHL, the biggest surprise might be the Calgary Flames who, after many bad seasons in a row, are off to a great start. After yesterday’s 6-2 victory over the Montreal Canadiens, the Flames are 7-4-2.
    Line: The Flames are off to a very… good start. No pun intended, no pun executed.
  5. New York Marathon: Wilson Kipsang and Mary Keitany, both from Kenya, won the New York City marathon yesterday on a clear but windy day. The most exciting moment was in the last few hundred yards of the men’s race. Two runners were alone at the front, Kipsang and the enjoyably named Lelisa Desisa. Desisa hung sneakily behind Kipsang until a moment of his choosing when he decided to make a move and sprinted around and past Kipsang. He bumped Kipsang a little on his way around, which must have bugged the tall Kenyan. Kipsang did a double take, followed by a look of haughty disdain, as if to say, “what? you little bug! why would you even bother trying to beat me in this race?” Then he absolutely left Desisa in the dust.
    Line: Did you see the look Kipsang gave Desisa? LOL!

What happened on Thursday, October 30, 2014

  1. LeBron Loses in Return to Cleveland: LeBron’s first game back in Cleveland was spoiled by a feisty performance by the New York Knicks who won 95 – 90. It shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that the Cavaliers need some time to figure out how to play with each other because it’s an almost completely new team and coach but even so, it’s surprising they could lose to the Knicks, who are projected to be pretty bad this year.
    Line: I bet the Cleveland fans are still happy, regardless of the loss.
  2. More NBA disappointment:  Far more despondent than the Cleveland fans are fans of the Oklahoma City Thunder. Already without their best player, Kevin Durant, they’ll now have to do without their second best player, Russell Westbrook after he fractured his hand in a 93-90 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers.
    Line: NOoaooaoaooaoooO!!!
  3. Red Bulls advance: The New York Red Bulls rode two late goals from league leading goal-scorer Bradley Wright-Phillips to eliminate the defending champion Sporting Kansas City in the first round of the Major League Soccer playoffs.
    Line: Hey, that’s cool. The Red Bulls NEVER do well in the playoffs.
    What’s Next: The first leg of a home and home playoff series with D.C. United begins this Sunday at 4 p.m.
  4. Saints and Seminoles Survive: The Thursday night football game in the National Football League was reasonably close until Drew Brees led the Saints on a seven plus minute drive in the fourth quarter which ended in a touchdown and left the Panthers without nearly enough time to come back. The Saints won 28-10. In college football, the Louisville Cardinals got people hoping for an upset when they launched themselves to an early 21-0 lead. It wasn’t enough. The Florida State Seminoles came back to win 42-31.
    Line: Drew Brees, I can root for. Jameis Winston? Not so much.

What happened on Wednesday, October 29, 2014

  1. Bumgarner drags the Giants to the World Series Championship: Numbers one through eighteen hundred on this list today are MADISON BUMGARNER. That’s really all sports fans will be talking about today. And he’s worth talking about! The San Francisco Giants beat the Kansas City Royals 3-2 in game seven of the World Series last night. The Royals scored both of their runs against the Giants starting pitcher, Tim Hudson. Their manager decided to yank him out of the game in the second inning, a move that’s often a sign of doom for the team making it. Not in this case, because that team had Madison Bumgarner. After Jeremy Affeldt got them through the fourth inning, Bumgarner took over and pitched the final five innings without allowing a single run. That would be a remarkable performance from anyone given the circumstances but what makes it truly remarkable is that Bumgarner had just pitched a complete game three days before. Bumgarner is a starting pitcher, which means he usually only pitches once every five days. Most people who try to come back sooner than that aren’t able to pitch very well or for very long. Each time Bumgarner came out to start the next inning last night, you thought to yourself, “I can’t believe he’s still doing this. Maybe this is the inning he’ll break down.” He never did.

    It wasn’t just a dominant physical performance, it was also an impressive psychological feat. As long as Bumgarner kept his mind doubt-free (or at least kept his doubts from showing) you got the sense that the Royals felt completely doomed. They had tried everything against him in his two previous starts during the World Series and nothing had worked. He had all but shut them out for 18 innings before last night. They knew they weren’t beating a healthy, confident Bumgarner. But it was a thin line to walk. At least I had the sense that if Bumgarner had to leave the game, the Royals might have felt like they had slain the monster, and the delicate balance would have turned their way.

    Line: Bumgarner, Bumgarner, Bumgarner.

  2. Bumgarner
  3. Bumgarner
  4. Bumgarner
  5. That’s all we have today. Bumgarner!

What happened on Tuesday, October 28, 2014?

  1. Game Six of the World Series: Game six was a blow-out! The Kansas City Royals beat the San Francisco Giants 10-0 to force a deciding game seven tonight. The rout began and was basically complete in the second inning when the Royals scored seven runs!
    Line: That was a Royal beat-down!
    What’s next: Game Seven, tonight, 8 p.m. ET on Fox!!!
  2. The NBA is off to a rollicking start: There were three games yesterday for the first day of the NBA season. The New Orleans Pelicans beat the Orlando Magic 101-84 behind budding superstar Anthony Davis’ performance, the San Antonio Spurs picked up where they left off last year by beating the Dallas Mavericks 101-100, and in what is likely to be a harbinger of many losses for the Los Angeles Lakers this year, they lost 108 to 90 to the Houston Rockets.
    Line: Year after year after year after year, the Spurs are good.
  3. A full night of NHL games: The Ottawa Senators got their first victory since their city was locked down following the Parliament shooting when they beat the Columbus Blue Jackets 5-2. The Pittsburgh Penguins racked up a total of eight goals on their way to beating the New Jersey Devils. The Tampa Bay Lightening were only one goal short of that in their 7-3 victory over the Arizona Coyotes. The Carolina Hurricanes remain the last winless team in the league after losing 4-1 to the Vancouver Canucks.