Tag: one line to fool them all

One line to fool them all – 10.19.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

NFL Football

Sunday, October 18, 2015 1 p.m. ET

Cincinnati Bengals 34, at Buffalo Bills 21

Line: It just doesn’t look like anyone can stop the Bengals.

What it means: The Bengals have won all six of their games so far this year and they’ve scored lots of points in every one of them. In order, they’ve scored 33, 24, 28, 36, 27, and now 34 points. Although offense and defense are almost completely separate teams in football, there’s an interesting symbiosis at work. If a defense knows it can count on its offense, it plays better, and vice-versa. Right now, the Bengals are operating as a very virtuous cycle.

Denver Broncos 26, at Cleveland Browns 23

Line: At some point it stops being a fluke that Denver is winning despite Peyton Manning instead of because of him.

What it means: The story on the Broncos so far this year has been that their undefeated record is untrustworthy; that they are not as good as their record would suggest because their once great quarterback, Peyton Manning, has played so poorly. After six straight wins though, perhaps it’s time to admit that even with an average quarterback, the rest of the Broncos is good enough to win consistently. They’re unlikely to end the season without losing, but they’ll win a lot of games.

Chicago Bears 34 at Detroit Lions 37

Line: Who wrote that line about lots of noise, “signifying nothing?” Probably Shakespeare, right? Anyway — whoever it was must have watched this game.

What it means: This game had everything you’d want out of an NFL game. It was an exciting, high scoring game, with lots of drama, that went into overtime… but because neither of these teams is going to amount to anything this year, (the Bears are 2-4, the Lions 1-5), it feels meaningless.

Houston Texans 31, at Jacksonville Jaguars 20

Line: I wonder if the Texans can make a run at the Colts now that they seem to have settled on a quarterback?

What it means: The Indianapolis Colts are the favorites to win the AFC South division, with the Texans, Jaguars, and Titans trailing behind them. There are a few signs though that the Texans may be able to give them a run for their money in the standings this year. The Texans started the year with some uncertainty at quarterback, where they had two players, Ryan Mallett and Brian Hoyer, competing for the starting job. After two straight good performances, it seems clear that Hoyer has won the job. That should settle the team down on offense and on defense, it’s hard to believe they could play any worse than they have. In fact, they’re likely to get better — they have so many talented players on defense.

Kansas City Chiefs 10 at Minnesota Vikings 16

 

Line: The Vikings aren’t flashy, but is there a winning team that’s flying more under the radar than them this year? I don’t think so.

What it means: The Vikings don’t get covered as much as other teams, and other than problematic running back, Adrian Peterson, they don’t have any big name stars. Perhaps because of that, or perhaps because they were on the wrong side of a fluky week one loss to the San Francisco 49ers, no one seems to be mentioning them as a playoff contender. With four games against teams the Vikings should probably beat coming up, (Lions, Bears, Rams, Raiders), you can sound savvy and prescient by talking about the Vikings now.

Miami Dolphins 38, at Tennessee Titans 10

Line: I guess that’s why you fire your coach.

What it means: The Miami Dolphins fired their coach two weeks ago, before the team’s bye week (when they don’t play a game.) Even two weeks isn’t enough time to make real tactical changes to an NFL team. So, teams that fire a coach in the middle of a season generally do it because they want to make an emotional or attitudinal change to a team that’s lost its will or understanding of how to play hard. From the result of this game, it certainly looks like that goal was met.

Washington Redskins 20, at New York Jets 34

Line: I know it’s virtually impossible to win in the NFL without a great quarterback, but if any team could do it, it might be the Jets.

What it means:  Quarterback is the most important position in modern professional football, by such a large margin, that it seems impossible to win without a great quarterback. In order to win despite having an average quarterback, like the Jets have, you have to be nearly perfect in every other area. The Jets have excellent wide receivers, a trio of strong running backs, a decent offensive line, and an intimidating defense. So far, they’ve won four games and lost only one — giving hope to every quarterback-wanting team in the league.

Arizona Cardinals 13, at Pittsburgh Steelers 25

Line: If I were the Steelers, I’d keep Roethlisberger out for another couple weeks. The way they’re playing, there’s no reason to be aggressive and risk re-injury.

What it means: Steelers star quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger, went down during the third game of the season with what initially looked like a major knee injury. After further examination, it was “only” a bone bruise and sprained MCL which he should be able to recover from in four to six weeks. After just two weeks out, Roethlisberger was already lobbying to be let back into the game this week. Despite his wishes, with the Steelers 2-1 in their three games without their starting quarterback, it’s probably better for the team and for Roethlisberger’s long-term health to hold him out another few weeks.

Sunday, October 18, 2015 4:05 or 4:25 p.m. ET

Carolina Panthers 27, at Seattle Seahawks 23

Line: I know it looks bad, but don’t count the Seahawks out yet, they’ve lost to three undefeated teams.

What it means: The Seattle Seahawks, who were good enough over the past two years to go to the Super Bowl twice, have lost four of their first six games. That’s not good and most people are probably close to concluding that the Seahawks just aren’t a very good team this year. Caution them not to jump to conclusions prematurely. The Seahawks four losses have come to a divisional rival, the Rams, who always play them closer than their relative skill would suggest likely, and three teams that are all undefeated – the Bengals, Packers, and Panthers.

Baltimore Ravens 20, at San Francisco 49ers 25

Line: Free Steve Smith.

What it means: Steve Smith is a pint-sized dynamo who plays wide receiver for the Baltimore Ravens. This is his 15th and final season in the NFL. Even at 36, he plays football with more determination and bottled up fury than virtually anyone out there. He’s a giant crowd favorite, which is why it’s such an enormous shame that he’ll be stuck in his last year in the league, playing for a mediocre team with no chance at making a playoff run. The phrase, “Free [name of player]” has become common in sports circles over the past few years. It asks that a fun player be released from a not-so-fun situation, in this case, playing on a last place team. It’s unrealistic — trades in the NFL are not common — but it’s a nice sentiment.

San Diego Chargers 20, at Green Bay Packers 27

Line: Phillip Rivers in the game against the Packers was like the world’s best classical conductor playing with your high school marching band.

What it means: Phillip Rivers is the quarterback of the San Diego Chargers. In this game, he set franchise records for passing attempts, pass completions, and passing yards. He threw for over 500 yards (300 is generally thought of as the line between a good game and a great game) and came extremely close to tying the game in its final seconds. He accomplished all of this despite being surrounded by lackluster, inexperienced, undersized, or over-the-hill wide receivers, running backs, tight ends, and offensive linemen.

Sunday, October 18, 2015 8:30 p.m. ET

New England Patriots 34 at Indianapolis Colts 27

Line: If you put aside all the Deflategate stuff, that was just a great football game.

What it means: The lead-up to this game was all about how the Patriots wanted revenge for the Colts putting them through a season of controversy. It was the Colts who originally turned the Patriots in to the league for having improperly inflated the footballs they used on offense in a playoff game last spring against the Colts. Drama may have gotten us to watch the game with more focus than normal, but the high quality of the game was what kept us watching.

One line to fool them all – 10.12.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

NFL Football

Sunday, October 11, 2015 1 p.m. ET

Buffalo Bills 14 at Tennessee Titans 13

Line: No Music City Miracle for the Titans in this one.

What it means: The Music City Miracle was a trick play the Titans used to eek out a win over the Buffalo Bills in a 2000 playoff game. These Titans didn’t have anything like that up their sleeves for this game. In fact, it was Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor who had all the tricks. He threw for a touchdown, ran for a touchdown, and even caught a pass!

Cleveland Browns 33 at Baltimore Ravens 30

Line: Who died and made Josh McCown Johnny Unitas?

What it means: Josh McCown is the Cleveland Browns starting quarterback. He’s had a mostly pedestrian career in the NFL, and at 36 years old, no one expected this to change. We were wrong. He threw 457 yards (which is an insane number, even for a game that went to overtime, like this one did) in this game and in doing so became the first Browns quarterback ever to throw three straight 300 yard games. Part of that is due to the league becoming more friendly to passing in general and part of it is due to luck but it’s still fun to compare him to all-time great quarterbacks like Johnny Unitas.

Chicago Bears 18 at Kansas City Chiefs 17

Line: Oh no, not again for Jamaal Charles.

What it means: Jamaal Charles is the star running back of the Kansas City Chiefs and one of the most dynamic players in football. When he’s at his best, he’s truly a joy to watch, dancing around defenders and galloping to long touchdown runs. He went down with an ugly knee injury today and people suspect that he tore his ACL… again. Charles already tore an ACL in 2011, and while the injury is no longer an automatic career ender, it’s still brutal to come back from.

Seattle Seahawks 24 at Cincinnati Bengals 27

Line: Dalton is no longer playing like Dalton. It’s very confusing.

What it means: After watching a player for several years in the NFL, football fans generally figure they know what that player is capable of. Then once in a while, a player like Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton comes back in his fifth season and seems to be playing consistently better than he ever has before. It’s confusing and unbelievable at first, but by now, especially after a come-from-behind win against a good team like today’s, it’s time to simply admit that he got better.

St. Louis Rams 10 at Green Bay Packers 24

Line: Aaron Rodgers finally threw a pick at home, but his defense got his back.

What it means: Before this game, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers had an incredible streak of having thrown over 550 passes in Green Bay without a single interception. He threw two in this game, but the Packers still won comfortably largely because their defense “picked off” or intercepted four of the Rams quarterback’s passes.

Jacksonville Jaguars 31 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 38

Line: If there’s a shootout in the forest but no one watches, does it matter?

What it means: Sometimes the most exciting games are played between teams, like these two, that aren’t likely to make the playoffs. As a result, only people at the game, and in the home television markets of the two teams, actually get a chance to see the game. More metaphysically, very few people care about the outcome of this game, even if it was one of the more entertaining ones of the day.

New Orleans Saints 17 at Philadelphia Eagles 39

Line: The Eagles are the most confusing team this year.

What it means: Estimates of how good the Eagles are have been consistently different from the way they’ve actually looked during games. Before the season, people thought they would be good, then their first few games were terrible. So, we all switched to thinking they were going to be bad this year. Then, they go out and win a game convincingly like this one. Who knows what to expect other than the unexpected?

Washington Redskins 19 at Atlanta Falcons 25

Line: How else could an overtime game with Kirk Cousins end other than a pick-six.

What it means: Kirk Cousins is Washington’s quarterback and he’s got a history and a habit of making fatal mistakes at just the wrong time. A pick-six is when a quarterback throws a pass someone on the defense catches it (that’s the pick or interception) and runs all the way to the other side of the field for a touchdown (that’s the six, for the six points a touchdown is worth). This game ended when Atlanta’s defense got a pick-six.

Sunday, October 11, 2015 4:05 or 4:25 p.m. ET

Arizona Cardinals 42 at Detroit Lions 17

Line: The Lions couldn’t go 0-16 again, could they? Could they?

What it means: The Detroit Lions are the only franchise in NFL history to ever go a 16 game season with out winning a single game. They achieved this ignominious feat in 2008. Other teams have gone entire seasons without winning a game but only when the season was shorter. At 0-5, these Lions are beginning to elicit unfortunate comparisons to that 2008 team. As bad as they are, they’re very unlikely to end the season winless.

New England Patriots 30 at Dallas Cowboys 6

Line: I’m actually surprised this game was so close, maybe Bellichick spent the bye week plotting ways to beat the Colts next Sunday night.

What it means: Although the Patriots won this game handily, they didn’t dominate the Cowboys the way some people (myself included) expected them to. Part of the reason why we expected them to dominate so thoroughly was because the Patriots had their bye week last week. Because the Patriots play the Colts next week and because the Colts are the team that tried to turn the Patriots in last season for having deflated balls, It’s funny and a tiny bit plausible for the Patriots to have spent the extra time during their week off thinking of ways to beat the Colts, not the Cowboys.

Denver Broncos 16 at Oakland Raiders 10

Line: After 16 seasons of “Peyton Manning carries his defense” there’s some symmetry to “defense carries Peyton Manning.”

What it means: Throughout most of his long career, Peyton Manning fans have wondered how many Super Bowls their hero could have won if he had been on teams with even a league average defense. He barely ever has. Most of the time, when his teams won, it was because he scored LOTS of points. This year, at the end of his career, when he is visibly reduced, he’s playing on a team (the Broncos) that has a great defense. The defense were responsible for winning this game, despite Manning and the offense struggling.

Sunday, October 4, 2015 8:30 p.m. ET

San Francisco 49ers 27 at New York Giants 30

Line: Could this be the rare comforting brutal loss for the 49ers?

What it means: The San Francisco 49ers lost in heartbreaking fashion when Giants quarterback Eli Manning threw a touchdown to tight end Larry Donnell with only 21 second left in the game. Nonetheless, this came may have been encouraging to 49ers fans who probably thought their team didn’t have the heart or the wherewithal to score as many points as they did or keep this game as close as they did. With a 1-4 record after five games, the 49ers will almost definitely not make the playoffs, but based on last night’s showing, all might not be lost for future seasons.

One line to fool them all – 10.5.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

NFL Football

New York Jets 27 vs. Miami Dolphins 14 in London

Line: The Philbin watch is on.

What it means: Joe Philbin is the Miami Dolphins head coach. Although by the time you’re reading this, he could be their former coach. Rumors were flying last week that if the Dolphins lost their game in London against the Jets, the team may fire Philbin. They lost. Fans are watching to see if he gets fired.

New York Giants 24 at Buffalo Bills 10

Line: Live by the Rex, die by the Rex.

What it means: When the Buffalo Bills got off to a hot start this season, new head coach Rex Ryan got a lot of the credit. He’s known for being a defensive mastermind and someone who players absolutely love playing for. His teams are also known for getting a little too amped up, which sometimes — maybe always — leads them into taking too many penalties and making other mistakes. That was the story today in the Bills game against the Giants. In the last two weeks, they’ve taken 31 penalties for 275 yards. Eeek.

Carolina Panthers 37 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 23

Line: Pump the breaks on crowning the undefeated Panthers. Their opponents are a combined 3-12.

What it means: After four wins in the first four games of the season, Panthers fans are feeling pretty good about their team. As they should. But it’s not like they’ve played a very difficult schedule. The four teams they’ve played so far this year have won only three games combined and lost 12. So, perhaps we should wait and see for a few more weeks before we declare the Panthers to be a great team.

Oakland Raiders 20 at Chicago Bears 22

Line: There’s life in Chicago!

What it means: Bears fans weren’t expecting very much from their team this year, but after starting the season with three losses in three weeks, they were nearing a catatonic state. To have been beaten at home by the up-and-coming-but-still-lowly Oakland Raiders might have pushed some Bears fans over the edge. The Bears victory doesn’t suggest any sort of reawakening in Chicago, not even of a salvaging type, but it will provide some momentary solace.

Kansas City Chiefs 21 at Cincinnati Bengals 36

Line: Okay, now I’m convinced — Andy Dalton has turned the corner.

What it means: Bengals quarterback, Andy Dalton, has been known for playing well in the regular season and then terribly in the playoffs. That dichotomy is the primary factor in his being dismissed from any conversation about the best quarterbacks, or even the very, very good quarterbacks in the league. He won’t truly get a chance to change his reputation until he wins in the playoffs but his superb play in the first four games of this season, leading his team to an undefeated record, should make some impact.

Houston Texans 21 at Atlanta Falcons 48

Line: This never would have happened if J.J. Watt was alive.

What it means: J.J. Watt, the phenomenal Texans defensive lineman is, of course, alive. But it’s hard to believe that his team allowed 48 points, even to a high-powered offensive team like the Falcons. This game wasn’t even as close as the score suggests. The Texans scored all 21 of their points in the fourth quarter, when the game was already basically over.

Jacksonville Jaguars 13 at Indianapolis Colts 16

Line: 40 year-old Matt Hasselbeck lead the Colts to an overtime victory. There’s hope for us yet!

What it means: Colts fans could have been forgiven for feeling frightened by the prospect of playing a game without their star quarterback Andrew Luck. They shouldn’t have worried. 40 year-old backup quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, who most people probably thought had been out of the league for a handful of years already, started the game and played well enough for the team to win in overtime.

Philadelphia Eagles 20 at Washington Redskins 23

Line: The whole NFC East is a mess. What a disaster.

What it means: The NFC East with these two teams, the New York Giants, and Dallas Cowboys, is the most famous and infamous division in football. With all four teams in major cities (and television markets) they draw the biggest audiences and attract the most attention. That’s why it’s a little funny and maybe a little schadenfreude-esque when the division is bad. This year, all four teams seem bad.

Cleveland Browns 27 at San Diego Chargers 30

Line: God hates Cleveland.

What it means: The Browns are the hard-luck story of the NFL. No matter what they do right, they seem to do something bigger and more important wrong. Today, it was an offside penalty in the last second that gave the Chargers a second chance to kick a game winning field goal after their first attempt missed. That’s real Cleveland Browns football!

Minnesota Vikings 20 at Denver Broncos 23

Line:  These might be the two best defenses in the league.

What it means: Let everyone else talk about offensive stars like Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning and Vikings running back Adrian Peterson. You can show yourself to be a true football fan by pointing out that the Vikings defense intercepted Peyton Manning twice and the Broncos defense sacked Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater seven (that’s an absurdly high number of sacks) times!

Green Bay Packers 17 at San Francisco 49ers 3

Line: The Packers didn’t do much, but they didn’t need to do very much. The 49ers [your choice of derogatory but not vulgar or bigoted term]!

What it means: The Packers are a truly excellent team. The 49ers are not. There wasn’t much more too this game.

St. Louis Rams 24 at Arizona Cardinals 22

Line: If the Rams could play half as well against everyone else as they do within their division, they’d be a playoff team.

What it means: The Rams have a funny habit of playing much better against the other three teams in their division – the Cardinals, Seattle Seahawks, and San Francisco 49ers – than anyone else. So far this year, they’re 2-0 against the Seahawks and Cardinals – both of which are more well-regarded than the Rams – and 0-2 against everyone else. It’s a small sample size, but it continues a pattern from previous seasons.

Dallas Cowboys 20 at New Orleans Saints 26

Line: Brandon Weeden looked like Tony Romo but Drew Brees looked like Drew Brees. Advantage, Saints.

What it means: The Dallas Cowboys starting quarterback, Tony Romo, is out for the next month with a broken collarbone. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden played so well at times in this game that you’d be forgiven for thinking he actually was Tony Romo. Alas for Cowboys fans, Saints quarterback Drew Brees, whose play this year had so far been below his own standards and who was suffering from a bruised rotator cuff, looked like his old self. This was an exciting game and it went into overtime where a long pass from Brees to running back C.J. Spiller, ended it decisively in favor of the Saints.

One line to fool them all – 9.28.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

NFL Football

Cincinnati Bengals 28 at Baltimore Ravens 24

Line: Win the Raven, nevermore.

What it means: The Baltimore Ravens were actually named after Edgar Allen Poe’s poem, The Raven. This may not completely excuse your mangling of Poe for the purpose of rubbing a little salt in your Baltimore fan friend’s wounds after the Ravens lost their third game in a row, but do it anyway. At 0-3, the playoffs seem like an unlikely possibility at this point for the Ravens, particularly because this most recent loss came at the hands of their divisional opponent, the Cincinnati Bengals, who are 3-0.

New Orleans Saints 22 at Carolina Panthers 27

Line: The Saints almost did it without Brees, but they didn’t quite have enough.

What it means: The New Orleans Saints were one of several teams facing an 0-3 start and one of a few teams playing without their starting quarterback. Virtually no one expected them to be able to play competitively with the Carolina Panthers, much less win, but they were surprisingly good. In the end, the Panthers, with their start quarterback Cam Newton who played extremely well, were too much for the Saints to contend with.

Oakland Raiders 27 at Cleveland Browns 20

Line: Let’s hold up on the parade for the Raiders – their wins have come against the 0-3 Ravens and 1-2 Browns.

What it means: Oakland Raiders fans and unaffiliated football observers might get excited by the Raiders first two-game win streak in more than three seasons. Although it’s never wrong to celebrate, it might be wrong to conclude that the Raiders are a good football team, because their two wins have come against teams that seem not to be very good themselves. With the pitiful Chicago Bears coming up for the Raiders next week, it might be another couple weeks before we find out more about how good the Raiders actually are.

Atlanta Falcons 39 at Dallas Cowboys 28

Line: Don’t think the lesson is that the Cowboys can score with Weeden. The lesson is that the Falcons can’t stop anyone.

What it means: After losing starting quarterback Tony Romo, to a broken collarbone last week, the Dallas Cowboys have been forced to go with backup quarterback Brandon Weeden this week and for the forceable future. Without Romo (and star wide receiver Dez Bryant) many feared the Cowboys wouldn’t have enough skill on offense to play competitively. Some Cowboys fans might be comforted by having watched the team score 28 points in today’s losing effort, but I think that’s more of a reflection of how bad the Falcons defense is than anything about the Cowboys offense with Weeden.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 9 at Houston Texans 19

Line: Neither of these teams is going anywhere this season but the Bucs are traveling nowhere faster.

What it means: In honor of Yogi Berra, who died this week, that’s my best Berra-esque comment about this game. The Buccaneers are worse than the Texans but both teams are bad enough that casual fans can stop paying them any attention.

San Diego Chargers 14 at Minnesota Vikings 31

Line: I wonder how much of the Charger’s issue this year is Los Angeles hanging over their heads?

What it means: The San Diego Chargers are one of a few teams that are rumored to be candidates for relocation to Los Angeles after this season. A move could be distracting to any team, but particularly one whose veteran quarterback has vocally opposed the move in the press. Connecting the team’s slow start to the relocation issue is not obvious, so get some football knowledge points by suggesting its possibility.

Jacksonville Jaguars 17 at New England Patriots 51

Line: The way the Patriots are playing, bye week can’t come soon enough for the rest of the league.

What it means: During an NFL season, each team gets one week off. That week, called a bye week, is next week for the New England Patriots. This will come as a relief to the other teams in the league, because the Patriots have been unbelievably good so far this year, winning their first three games easily and scoring 119 points (which is a lot!)

Philadelphia Eagles 24 at New York Jets 17

Line: This game is the classic lesson about jumping to conclusions after the first two weeks.

What it means: Coming into this game, the Philadelphia Eagles were 0-2 and people were already talking about firing the coach. The New York Jets were 2-0 and some of their fans might have quietly Googled this year’s Super Bowl, just to see where it was… just in case. After today’s game, both sides are quietly moderating their early conclusions about their teams.

Pittsburgh Steelers 12 at St. Louis Rams 6

Line: What’s the latest on Big Ben’s knee?

What it means: The Pittsburgh Steelers lost their quarterback, Ben Roethlisberger (nicknamed Big Ben after because of his stature and the existence of the British clock, Big Ben), to a knee injury during this game. The injury happened when a defensive player tripped and slid into Roethlisberger’s legs. There was immediate speculation that Roethlisberger could have a serious injury, which might force him to miss the rest of the season. Although the next round of rumors was more positive, we won’t know for sure until the results of the inevitable MRI are leaked/shared tomorrow.

Indianapolis Colts 35 at Tennessee Titans 33

Line:  Eh. I’m not impressed. Win or not, needing heroics to beat the Titans does not show the Colts in a positive light.

What it means: The Indianapolis Colts have been one of the biggest disappointments so far this year. They avoided a 0-3 start by beating the Tennessee Titans, but if quarterback Andrew Luck and the rest of his team want to restore confidence of their being a clear playoff team, they’ll have to beat a stronger team than the Titans. As disheartening as this weekend’s loss must be for the Titans, this season is all about the development of rookie quarterback Marcus Mariota, and he continued his promising start in this game.

San Francisco 49ers 7 at Arizona Cardinals 47

Line: We have our answer now, the 49ers are terrible.

What it means: The San Francisco 49ers were expected to be awful this year. Then they won their first game in convincing fashion. That confused most people’s ideas about what kind of team they were going to be this year. Even after a loss last week, people weren’t sure. Now, they are. The 49ers are bad, bad, bad.

Buffalo Bills 41 at Miami Dolphins 14

Line: Is there a more disappointing free agent signing than Ndamukong Suh?

What it means: Coming off a promising season last year, the Miami Dolphins made one of the biggest splashes during the offseason by agreeing to a contract with Ndamukong Suh, the controversial but undeniably talented defensive lineman. So far this season, he’s been a bust in Miami. The Dolphins can’t seem to stop anyone on defense, certainly not the Bills today.

Chicago Bears 0 at Seattle Seahawks 26

Line: Oh well. I was cracking up when it was 3-0 halfway through the second quarter, but eventually all good things must come to an end.

What it means: Unless you are a Seattle Seahawks fan, the prospect of a 0-2 Chicago Bears team, playing without their starting quarterback and best wide receiver, coming into Seattle and defeating the desperate 0-2 Seahawks was a hysterically funny one. The Seahawks are a brash bunch whose success over the past few seasons has engendered a lot of envy, so the longer it seemed possible they would fall to 0-3 at the hands of the hapless Bears, the funnier it was.

Denver Broncos 24 at Detroit Lions 12

Line: It may not be pretty, but so far it’s working for the Broncos.

What it means: The Denver Broncos may be the most criticized 3-0 team ever. The problem so far has been that their legendary but ancient quarterback, Peyton Manning, has not looked half as good as he has for the entirety of his career. Despite much hemming and hawing about his age and health, my theory is that this has more to do with he and his new coach, Gary Kubiak, feeling each other out. In this game, the Broncos played most of their offensive plays from a formation called the pistol, which was new to both Manning and Kubiak. As the result shows, their experimentation seems to be leading somewhere good.

One line to fool them all – 9.21.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

NFL Football

New England Patriots 40 at Buffalo Bills 32

Line: TYROD TAYLOR IS GOD.

What it means: That Buffalo Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor, who wasn’t particularly memorable as a quarterback in college, and who was the backup quarterback in Baltimore for his entire career until this year, has played much better than expected so far this year. In this game, he helped the Bills score three straight touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Despite losing to their rivals in this game, Bills fans are pretty pumped about Taylor.

Tennessee Titans 14 at Cleveland Browns 28

Line: I guess Mariota isn’t the next coming of Marino.

What it means: Marcus Mariota is the rookie quarterback of the Tennessee Titans. Last week, he was nearly perfect, passing for four touchdowns and no interceptions. This had Titans fans thinking they might have a new all-time great to root for, someone like the beloved Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marion, who played for the Dolphins in the 1980s and early 1990s. The story was different for Mariota and the Titans this weekend as they lost to the unremarkable Cleveland Browns.

Houston Texans 17 at Carolina Panthers 24

Line: In a game between two teams built on defense, go with the team that has a quarterback.

What it means: The Houston Texans and the Carolina Panthers are both examples of a relatively rare type of team in the NFL – those that emphasize defense more than offense. The biggest difference between the two teams is that the Panthers have an extremely talented and well established quarterback in Cam Newton, and the Texans have already switched between seemingly equally bad options at starting quarterback and this is only Week Two of the NFL season.

Arizona Cardinals 48 at Chicago Bears 23

Line: They are who we thought they were! And we didn’t let them off the hook.

What it means: This refers to a legendary rant from former Cardinals coach, Dennis Green, after his team lost to a Bears team. He had felt that the then undefeated Bears were beatable and his team was well on their way to proving him right before messing everything up and losing the game. This game was the polar opposite. Everyone thought the Bears were going to be terrible this year. Then they played reasonably well in a Week One loss. Not to worry, the Cardinals traveled to Chicago this weekend and showed everyone that they were right in dismissing the Bears.

San Diego Chargers 19 at Cincinnati Bengals 24

Line: Wake me up when Dalton does this in the playoffs.

What it means: Andy Dalton, the quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals, has a reputation for winning during the regular season but losing during the playoffs because… well… that’s all he’s done so far in his career. In his four years as the Bengals quarterback, he’s won an average of 10 games per season (that’s very good) but lost in the first round of the playoffs each year. Even though past events don’t predict future results, it’s hard not to feel slightly bored by the Bengals consistently disappointing seasons.

Detroit Lions 16 at Minnesota Vikings 26

Line: I have no idea what happened in Week One, but the Vikings look good.

What it means: The Minnesota Vikings were many people’s pick to be the young, up-and-coming team this year. Then they went into San Francisco for their first game and played horribly. This week, they looked just like the team many people thought they would be.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 26 at New Orleans Saints 19

Line: It really looks like it’s over in New Orleans, doesn’t it.

What it means: Starting the season after Hurricane Katrina, quarterback Drew Brees, coach Sean Peyton, and the whole Saints franchise have had a magical decade. Behind a prolific offense, they won the Super Bowl after the 2009 season. After two straight losses to start this season, including this weekend’s dreadful loss versus divisional opponent Tampa Bay, who themselves were coming off an embarrassing loss, Saints fans have to be worried that their run has come to an end.

Atlanta Falcons 24 at New York Giants 20

Line: Ooooph. I can’t wait to see the New York Post’s headline after this one.

What it means: For the second week in a row, the New York Giants lost a game that they seemed to have comfortably won. This time, they were up 20-10 over the Falcons in the fourth quarter. The New York Post enjoys nothing more than when a New York team loses in ignominious fashion so that they can make fun of them, usually with a giant (get it) bad pun on their back page.

San Francisco 49ers 18 at Pittsburgh Steelers 43

Line: I wouldn’t take too much from this game. The 49ers were on short rest and had to fly east for an early game while the Steelers had 10 days to prepare.

What it means: There are a few scheduling quirks that people who follow football think are significant to the outcome of games. Nearly every one of them was present in this game and they were all slanted against the 49ers. Since the 49ers played last Monday night, they had one fewer day to prepare for this game than is normally the case. The Steelers, on the other hand, having played the previous Thursday, had an extra three days. Lastly, people believe that west coast teams have trouble playing on the east coast when the game begins at 1 p.m. because the players’ internal clocks still think it’s 10 a.m. – time for pancakes, not football.

St. Louis Rams 10 at Washington Redskins 24

Line: Classic let-down by the Rams after their big Week One victory over the Seahawks.

What it means: Despite football being a job, people still think that football teams are driven by emotion roughly the way high-school sports teams are. Win a big and emotional game in one week, like the St. Louis Rams against the Seattle Seahawks last week, and people expect to see an emotional let-down, often accompanied by a loss in the following week. The fact that the Rams lost this week to a team most people feel they should have beaten lends credence to that line of thought.

Baltimore Ravens 33 at Oakland Raiders 37

Line: I think the Cowboys vs. Eagles game went through some kind of worm-hole and came out in Oakland. With different teams.

What it means: Everyone, including Las Vegas bookmakers, expected the game between the Dallas Cowboys and Philadelphia Eagles to be an exciting, high-scoring game. Instead, that game was relatively boring and ugly while this game, which most people thought was going to be a pedestrian Ravens win, turned into the best game of the day.

Dallas Cowboys 20 at Philadelphia Eagles 10

Line: I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but I feel bad for Cowboys fans.

What it means: The Dallas Cowboys have won both their games so far this year, but things are distinctly gloomy for their fans. Their star wide receiver broke a bone in his foot during their first game and their quarterback broke his collar bone in this one. It’s hard to imagine they’ll win many of their next eight games or so, while their two best offensive players are out.

Seattle Seahawks 17 at Green Bay Packers 27

Line: I’m glad Green Bay got some small measure of revenge.

What it means: The Green Bay Packers played the Seattle Seahawks in last year’s NFC Championship. Win, and they would have gone to the Super Bowl. They were winning for most of the game but then collapsed in the fourth quarter and lost in heart-breaking fashion. Winning this game was a small measure of revenge for the Packers. It will make them feel better but not good.

One line to fool them all – 9.14.15

Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.

U.S. Open Tennis

Novak Djokovic beat Roger Federer in four sets

Line: Roger Federer may be the best ever but Djokovic is just too good.

What it means: This seemingly confusing statement makes sense because of the two players’ relative ages. Federer, who is now 34, is thought to be one of the greatest players ever. He holds records for being ranked number one in the world for almost six years consecutively, and for winning 17 Grand Slam (the important four tournaments) titles. Djokovic, on the other hand, is just 28, firmly in his tennis prime. Although he’s not (yet?) thought of as a player with the type or extent of greatness that Federer is, given the disparity in age, he is demonstrably stronger than Federer now. He’s won the past three Grand Slam finals that the two have met in.

NFL Football

Kansas City Chiefs 27 at Houston Texans 20

Line: So maybe Alex Smith just didn’t have good receivers.

What it means: Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Alex Smith has been criticized throughout his career for being unable or unwilling to throw the ball down the field. Last year he didn’t throw a single touchdown to a wide receiver all year. He still hasn’t, but he already looks more comfortable with throwing it downfield, perhaps because he has much more talented players to throw the ball to.

Indianapolis Colts 14 at Buffalo Bills 27

Line: The Colts won’t win until they can compete physically.

What it means: Of course, it’s silly to claim any professional football team isn’t physical but the Colts have lost their last two games (last year in the playoffs against New England and this game) because they couldn’t keep a more physical team from pushing them around.

Green Bay Packers 31 at Chicago Bears 23

Line: Did you see what Matt Forte said at the press conference? LOL.

What it means: The Bears were a giant disaster last year and, after their loss today, their star running back Matt Forte had this to say:

As reasonable as this might seem, it comes off as unintentional humor in a culture that believes there’s no other goal but winning.

Carolina Panthers 20 at Jacksonville Jaguars 9

Line: Who needs offense when you’re playing the Jaguars?

What it means: The biggest concern for the Panthers this year is their lack of quality wide receivers for quarterback Cam Newton to aim for. Today’s game didn’t lesson that concern, but since the Panthers were playing one of the weaker teams in the league, the Jacksonville Jaguars, they were still able to win.

Cleveland Browns 10 at New York Jets 31

Line: Johnny Football didn’t look half bad!

What it means: “Johnny Football” is the nickname of Cleveland Browns quarterback Johnny Manziel. Manziel was a popular figure when he played in college but has not been a success so far in the NFL. He wasn’t supposed to play in this game but after the starting quarterback, Josh McCown, left with an injury, he was forced into action. He played decently despite the large loss.

Miami Dolphins 17 at Washington Redskins 10

Line: The Dolphins won, but I think I’d be more optimistic if I were a Redskins fan.

What it means: How happy you are as a fan is all about expectations. Dolphins fans thought their team was going to take a leap from good to great this year. Redskins fans thought their team might not win a game. They didn’t win this one, but they played much better than expected.

Seattle Seahawks 31 at St. Louis Rams 34

Line: The Seahawks finally gave the ball to Beastmode and they still lost.

What it means: Last season, the Seattle Seahawks lost the Super Bowl when a pass near the goal-line was intercepted by the New England Patriots. Many people felt they should have handed the ball off to running back Marshawn Lynch, nicknamed “Beastmode” and one of the best in the league. In this game, facing a must-have fourth down in overtime, they did just that – hand the ball to Lynch – and he couldn’t get the first down.

Detroit Lions 28 at San Diego Chargers 33

Line: Classic Lions, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

What it means: The Detroit Lions were winning 28 to 3 in this game before everything went wrong for them and everything went right for the Chargers. Unfortunately for Lions fans, this type of monumental collapse is not uncommon. The Lions have been known as an immature team for so long that some of their players have gotten old without ever shaking that label.

New Orleans Saints 19 at Arizona Cardinals  31

Line: The Cardinals are great, I just don’t think Palmer can last the season and I can’t believe they still don’t have a reasonable backup. What a waste of surrounding talent.

What it means: The Arizona Cardinals are both very good and very lovable. Their Achilles heel is that their starting quarterback, Carson Palmer, is slightly old and slightly injury prone and their offensive system requires him to get hit over and over and over again. Combine that with their not having a good enough backup and their seasons tend to get torpedoed by injury. It’s fun to root for them early in the season though, before the injuries pile up.

Cincinnati Bengals 33 at Oakland Raiders 13

Line: And just like that, all the positivity around the Raiders is gone. Same old Raiders.

What it means: The Oakland Raiders have been bad for most of the past 15 years. Their fans were hoping that they had improved this year, particularly because of their promising second year quarterback, Derek Carr. But by halftime of the first game, Carr was gone because of an injury, and the Raiders were being beaten badly.

Baltimore Ravens 13 at Denver Broncos 19

Line: Don’t be surprised, this is the new Broncos.

What it means: For the past few seasons, ever since quarterback Peyton Manning came to the Broncos, they’ve been a team that was built around offense. They scored a lot of points. This year, they’re likely to win more games like this one – low-scoring, closely contested contests. It may take casual fans some time to adjust, so you can sound really in-the-know by pointing it out.

Tennessee Titans 42 at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 14

Line: Good riddance. I would be happy if every game Jameis Winston played went like this.

What it means: This game was billed as a matchup of the two top rookie quarterbacks, Marcus Mariota for Tennessee, who was picked second overall in this year’s NFL draft, and Jameis Winston, who was picked first. Partially because Winston is so obviously not a good person, Mariota has been cast as the good one in the nascent rivalry. Well, everything went right for Good in this game and everything went wrong for Evil.

New York Giants 26 at Dallas Cowboys 27

Line: More dramatic than good.

What it means: The Sunday Night Football game is always one of the highest rated football games of the weekend and for this one, the NFL schedulers picked two of the highest profile teams to play each other. The game came in first place in our NFL Forecast. It eventually was worth it, as the Cowboys came from behind to score a touchdown with less than 15 seconds left that won them the game, but despite the game’s exciting ending, it was played sloppily by both teams throughout.