The NFL season has started but how do you know which games to watch and which to skip? Ask our favorite police duo with their good cop, bad cop precaps of all the Week 3 matchups in the National Football League this weekend. To see which games will be televised in your area, check out 506sports.com’s essential NFL maps. If you’re worried about watching too much football or if you’re negotiating for a little break during the weekend, read our weekly feature, Do Not Watch This Game.
Week 4
Sunday, September 28, at 1:00 p.m. ET
Buffalo Bills at Houston Texans
Good cop: What a revealing game! Two teams that started the season with two wins and followed them with a loss! Who will bounce back and who won’t?!
Bad cop: I’ll tell you what will bounce — most of the passes thrown by the two quarterbacks in this game. They’re both terrible.
Carolina Panthers at Baltimore Ravens
Good cop: After thirteen years on the Panthers, wide receiver Steve Smith plays against them for the first time! Drama!
Bad cop: You’re gonna be let down. Do not watch this game.
Green Bay Packers at Chicago Bears
Good cop: If you don’t want to watch this game, you must not like football! Two traditional rivals, playing outside on grass, throwing the ball left and right, it’s going to be exciting!
Bad cop: It’s a moderately interesting game of football. Moderately.
Detroit Lions at New York Jets
Good cop: Calvin Johnson, Geno Smith — exciting players with interesting first names and boring last names!
Bad cop: Geno is exciting only if you like interceptions. You don’t like interceptions, you’re the good cop.
Tenessee Titans at Indianapolis Colts
Good cop: Colts quarterback Andrew Luck has been the best in the league through three games! This could be the start of a new era!
Bad cop: If you’re planning on watching this game, pay attention to the Titans and you’ll see the beginning of a new error.
Miami Dolphins at Oakland Raiders
Good cop: This game is in London! How classy!
Bad cop: This game is so bad, the NFL put an ocean between it and NFL headquarters.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Pittsburgh Steelers
Good cop: Can the Buccaneers bounce back after last week’s poor performance? I want to know!
Bad cop: Well, they can’t get worse. They’ll bounce back, but only high enough to lose by fifteen points.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET
Jacksonville Jaguars at San Diego Chargers
Good cop: Jags rookie quarterback Blake Bortles gets his first NFL start!
Bad cop: Wait, is it too late to send this game to England too? Yikes. I think the NFL might have picked the wrong game to deport.
Atlanta Falcons at Minnesota Vikings
Good cop: The greatest show on turf (this year) goes on the road to play another first time rookie starter, Teddy Bridgewater!
Bad cop: The Vikings are an increasingly troubled franchise. Suspended running back, injured quarterback, what’s next?
Philadelphia Eagles at San Francisco 49ers
Good cop: In the first three games of the season, the Eagles have been bad in the first half and amazing in the second half while the 49ers have been excellent in the first half of games and terrible in the second! I can’t wait to see this game be 50-0 at the end of the first half and 50-50 at the end of the second!
Bad cop: Wait. How do you get to 50? Six touchdowns, two field goals, and a safety? What a random and unlikely score.
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
New Orleans Saints at Dallas Cowboys
Good cop: Talk about teams that sling the ball around! Tony Romo and Drew Brees? What a matchup!
Bad cop: Your information and enthusiasm is so five years ago. Romo is a shell of himself physically and Brees isn’t so hot either.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 29, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
New England Patriots at Kansas City Chiefs
Good cop: I can’t wait for Bill Bellichick and Tom Brady to break out Mark Twain’s famous line after this game! The reports of their demise are greatly exaggerated!
Bad cop: Reports of the Chiefs’ demise are not.