On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by Google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:
Week 12
Sunday, November 23, at 1:00 p.m. ET
Cleveland Browns 26, at Atlanta Falcons 24
The Browns keep Cleveland’s magical sports year going with a victory. Sure, it was a two point victory on a last second field goal over a 4-7 team, but still.
Line: The Browns continue to look good but they still seem like they play the worst teams every week.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13, at Chicago Bears 21
All of Chicago must have been mournfully eating deep-dish pizza at halftime with their Bears down 10-0. Luckily for them, the Bears offense woke up in the second half and rattled off 21 straight points.
Line: Up and down, down and down, down and up, that’s the Chicago Bears this year.
Cincinnati Bengals 21, at Houston Texans 13
People in the NFL media talk about “coaching trees” and judge coaches, in part by their ability to foster assistants who later become successful head coaches. The Tom Brady “quarterback tree”, which numbers at least two current quarterbacks, including Texans Ryan Mallett, is not a healthy one. Mallett struggled in second start and the Texans could not overcome his play.
Line: Ryan Mallett played like a new starter on Sunday.
Detroit Lions 9, at New England Patriots 34
Meanwhile, the real Tom Brady continues to stand up. Last week the Patriots won by running the ball through the center of the defense. This week, the Patriots took a look at their opponent, saw that their run defense was very good, and decided to throw the ball a lot. Brady completed 38 of 53 (that’s a lot) pass attempts and led the team to victory.
Line: The Patriots vary their game plan more from week to week than any other team.
Green Bay Packers 24, at Minnesota Vikings 21
This was a close game but as an observer, you probably felt that the Packers were never seriously at risk for losing it. You would have been right.
Line: This game was not as close as the score makes it seem.
Jacksonville Jaguars 3, at Indianapolis Colts 23
Oh boy. After seeming marginally competent for a few weeks, the Jaguars are back to their old tricks.
Line: This game was exactly as close as the score makes it seem.
Tennesse Titans 24, at Philadelphia Eagles 43
It’s an interesting truth about the NFL that the measure of a good team is more that they beat bad teams by a lot than that they win close games against good teams. The Eagles did their best to prove that they were good by beating up on the not-so-good Titans.
Line: The Eagles outclassed the Titans.
SUNDAY, November 23, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET
St. Louis Rams 24, at San Diego Chargers 27
The Rams continue to prove to everyone that they can play with the best teams in the league. What differentiates them is their inability to consistently beat the bad teams (like the Eagles did the Titans.)
Line: If the Rams could play as well against the bad teams as they do against the good ones, losing a game like this wouldn’t hurt so badly.
Arizona Cardinals 3, at Seattle Seahawks 19
The Seahawks pretty much knew that they had to win this game to have a shot at winning their division. The Cardinals didn’t know anything that drastic, so it’s no surprise the game turned out this way.
Miami Dolphins 36, at Denver Broncos 39
The Dolphins continue to develop into one of the best teams in the NFL. Peyton Manning continues to cement his legacy as one of the best quarterbacks in NFL history.
Line: Hey, I’d like to see this game again, please. Please?
Washington Redskins 13, at San Francisco 49ers 17
The 49ers have now won their last three games and six of their last eight without inspiring virtually any confidence in their worth as a team. The Redskins have inspired thousands of statements about their worth as a team over that time but none that are safe for publication on this website.
Line: Another week, another uninspiring 49ers win.
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 23, AT 8:30 P.M. ET
Dallas Cowboys 31, at New York Giants 28
Just this:
Nothing else that happened is worth talking about more than that.
Line: HOLY SHIT, DID YOU SEE THAT CATCH???