NFL Week 1 Good Cop, Bad Cop Precap

NFL Patriots Bills
Football is back! Football is back.

The NFL season has started but how do you know which games to watch and which to skip? Ask our favorite police duo with their good cop, bad cop precaps of all the Week 1 matchups in the National Football League this weekend. To see which games will be televised in your area, check out 506sports.com’s essential NFL maps. For snack ideas, check out Mashable’s 32 hot dog recipes that correspond to the 32 NFL teams.

Week 1

Sunday, September 7, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Buffalo Bills at Chicago Bears

Good cop: Two classic teams with blue-collar fan bases that deserve to see their teams thrive!

Bad cop: Uh, the Bills quarterback is on such thin ice that the team just signed journeyman backup Kyle Orton and there’s already talk he might take over. 

Cincinnati Bengals at Baltimore Ravens

Good cop: Division rivals! 

Bad cop: A matchup between the two most overrated and overpaid quarterbacks in the league, Andy Dalton and Joe Flacco.

Cleveland Browns at Pittsburgh Steelers

Good cop: Division rivals! 

Bad cop: The Browns’ best wide receiver, Josh Gordon, is suspended for the year because he smoked some weed and their most exciting quarterback, rookie Johnny Manziel isn’t going to play.

Washington Redskins at Houston Texans

Good cop: One of the most athletic quarterbacks in the league, Robert Griffin III, goes up against the dominating defensive line of the Houston Texans!

Bad cop: Yeah, great. That’ll be fun to watch for the first five minutes until J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney stomp so thoroughly on RGIII that there’s nothing left to see.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Philadelphia Eagles

Good cop: The Eagles are the fastest playing team in the league and the Jaguars are going to emulate them! We could see 100 points in this game!

Bad cop: They would still all be scored by the Eagles.

Tennessee Titans at Kansas City Chiefs

Good cop: The Titans have a young promising quarterback and very underrated wide receivers while the Chiefs have the best running back in the league!

Bad cop: I know but doesn’t this game just make you want to say, “meh”?

New England Patriots at Miami Dolphins

Good cop: The Patriots travel down to steamy Miami where they will struggle with the young Miami defense!

Bad cop: Tom Brady struggle? Not likely.

Minnesota Vikings at St. Louis Rams

Good cop: Viking Cordarrelle Patterson and Ram Tavon Austin both make real life football look like a video game because they’re such dynamic athletes!

Bad cop: Unfortunately they’ve got terrible quarterbacks throwing them the ball.

New Orleans Saints at Atlanta Falcons

Good cop: Games between these teams are ALWAYS exciting! Dynamic offenses, great players, what more could you want?!

Bad cop: This game may not be totally uninteresting and horrible.

Oakland Raiders at New York Jets

Good cop: So kind of you to say that about the Saints vs. Falcons game! Just for that, I’ll admit, this game is totally uninteresting and horrible!

Bad cop: It is.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, AT 4:25 P.M. ET

Carolina Panthers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Good cop: Two of the more mysterious teams in the league this year! The Panthers were good last year and the Buccaneers were horrible but it seems like things might flip this year for both of them!

Bad cop: The Panthers have an excellent quarterback but figuratively no one to catch the ball. The Buccaneers signed Josh McCown on the basis of one good year. If he were actually good enough to start, wouldn’t that have shown before he turned 35?

San Francisco 49ers at Dallas Cowboys 

Good cop: Classic franchises, exciting players like Colin Kaepernick, Michael Crabtree, Dez Bryant, and Tony Romo!

Bad cop: Simple outcome. The Cowboys have the worst defense in the league. They’re going to lose.

SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Indianapolis Colts at Denver Broncos

Good cop: Peyton Manning against his old team! Andrew Luck is awesome!

Bad cop: A fun plot-line, but I bet the game feels antiseptic.

Monday, SEPTEMBER 8, AT 7:10 and 10:20 P.M. ET 

New York Giants at Detroit Lions

Good cop: Eli Manning is Peyton’s brother! He’s also really good at football!

Bad cop: Now you just sound like me. This game is already the Dear Sports Fan “Do not watch this game” game. ’nuff said.

San Diego Chargers at Arizona Cardinals

Good cop: The last game of the weekend could be the best one! The Chargers had a great run into the playoffs at the end of last year and the Cardinals were the best team in the league to miss the playoffs!

Bad cop: Cardinals Quarterback, Carson Palmer, hasn’t won an opening game since 2007! The Cardinals have no chance! Also no functioning offensive linemen!

Cue Cards 9-5-2014

clapperboardCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Yesterday —  September 4

I wrote a post yesterday about the two most exciting sports games on TV that night called “I don’t always watch sports, but when I do, I prefer contrasts“. Here’s what happened in those two events.

  1. Cool outlasts Hot — Last night Roger Federer beat Gael Monfils in a five set U.S. Open quarterfinal tennis match. I wrote about the two that Federer “doesn’t get ruffled.” He had to use all his anti-ruffling skills after losing the first two sets. About Monfils on the other hand, I wrote that he, “spends a lot of time self-destructing on tennis courts.” That’s exactly what happened. After losing by just a little in the third and fourth set to a determined Federer, Monfils got into his own head and lost the fifth set six games to two. They both played to type.
    Line: “Federer’s gonna Federer and Monfils is gonna Monfils.” Or, less obtuse, “That’s why Federer is a champion and Monfils isn’t — mental toughness.”
  2. Defense flusters offense — The Seattle Seahawks beat up, confused, and eventually just beat the Green Bay Packers during their 36 to 16 victory last night. The defense sacked Green Bay Quarterback Aaron Rodgers three times, forced one fumble, one safety, and one interception. Meanwhile, that “frankly bad” defense of the Packers fairly wilted under the pressure of Seattle’s offense which did “pound their opponent into the ground with powerful running attacks” as predicted. The Seahawks ran for 191 yards, averaging a massive 6.8 yards per carry.
    Line: “The most physical team wins most football games and last night that team was the Seahawks.” 

I don't always watch sports, but when I do, I prefer contrasts

Vamping on the great Dos Equis commercials that feature the “Most Interesting Man in the World” claiming, “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis,” I don’t always watch sports, but when I do, I prefer contrasts. I think many sports fans are like this. I’d rather watch a great defense play against a great offense than watch two great offenses score mounds of points on each other or two great defenses circle each other cautiously. In boxing, I’d rather watch a hot-headed slugger face off against a tactically sound boxer. In baseball, I want to see if a great pitcher can throw his way through a murderer’s row of hitters or whether they tire him down. Even in individual sports like downhill skiing or golf, it’s more compelling if you can watch people approach the puzzle of winning in different ways. There are two sporting events tonight that promise big contrasts in style and I am looking forward to catching at least part of both of them. I’ll lay out the contrasts in this post, tell me if you watch and if so, whether you see and enjoy the contrasts I describe.

Cool vs. Hot at the U.S. Open

Tennis is perhaps the most psychologically difficult sport because its players are alone on the court for up to five hours. In major tournaments like the U.S. Open, they aren’t even allowed to speak to their coaches. To win a tennis match, men (women play only three sets) need to win three sets out of five. To win a set, they need to be the first to win six by two games or win in a tie-break. Games require them to get to four points but they have to win by two. In matches between players of relatively equal skill, temperament or injury almost always mean the difference between winning and losing.

Roger Federer’s name is all over the record books but perhaps his most impressive record is that he was ranked number one in the world for 237 weeks in a row. This record expresses his nature. He is cool. He doesn’t get ruffled. His movements are smooth, graceful, and efficient. He never looks like he’s trying that hard or, frankly, that he’s physically strong enough to keep up with his opponent. All of this explains, in part, how Federer can still be playing at such a high level at 33, an age at which most tennis players’ physical skills have degraded to the point that they cannot keep up anymore.

Gael Monfils looks like the member of a tennis playing species
Gael Monfils looks like the member of a tennis playing species

Federer’s opponent is the exact opposite. Gael Monfils is a physical freak. Federer looks like a robot programmed to play tennis. Monfils looks like a species genetically designed to play tennis. He’s tall, incredibly muscular, and flexible. His springs around the court like a modern dancer — never quite centered but never out of balance either. If it weren’t for his temperament, he’d probably be completely unbeatable. As it is, he spends a lot of time self-destructing on tennis courts. He screams at himself, gives up, tries again, gives up again. He can’t seem to help being a showman. The more important the moment is, the less he seems to be able to help leaping into shots or trying to hit the ball between his legs. The most dominant he’s ever looked on a tennis court was a rain delay dance competition at the French Open:

At least until this U.S. Open, in which Monfils, playing without a coach, hasn’t lost a single set. Monfils remains as compelling as he is confusing.

I have to admit, I kind of love both these players. I can’t help but root for old-age and treachery to win out over youth and vigor, so I want Federer to win. Meanwhile, Monfils’ unpredictability and pathos make me love him, and he just looks like he’s having more fun when he’s having fun out there than anyone else.  We’ll see what happens tonight around 8 p.m. on ESPN.

Defense vs. Offense to Start the NFL Season

The first NFL game is a celebration and would be must watch TV for sports fans no matter who was playing. That said, tonight’s game between the Seattle Seahawks and the Green Bay Packers provides a great contrast in everything but color. The Seahawks have the best defense in the league, with big, fast, and brash defenders flying all over the place, hitting anything that moves. The Packers offense has been in the top third of the league in scoring for the last five years. The Packers have a well established star at quarterback who leads an offense based on quick throws and immaculate timing. The Seahawks specialize in messing up offensive timing by hitting receivers (legally or illegally) at the line of scrimmage. The Seahawks offense tries to pound their opponents into the ground with powerful running attacks. The Packers defense was, well, frankly bad last year.

The only similarities between these teams is that they are both good, they both think they have a chance to win the Super Bowl this year, and they both wear green. See what happens at 8:30 p.m. ET on NBC.

Cue Cards 9-4-2014

clapperboardCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Yesterday —  September 3

  1. Djokovic beats Murray — The most highly anticipated men’s tennis match yesterday was the nightcap of the U.S. Open between Andy Murray and Novak Djokovic. With a start time right around 10 p.m., there was the possibility of it lasting until 3 a.m. if it had gone into a fifth set competitively. Instead, after two very close sets which both went into tie-breaks, Murray seemed to fade because of hip and back pain and Djokovic won the final two sets by a wide margin. The two players have been playing each other since they were 13!

    Line: “What a shame that Murray lost it physically because the first two sets were so close. I’m not sure anyone left can beat Djokovic.”

  2. The two faces of baseball — Yesterday’s slate of baseball games had two great games on either side of the baseball spectrum. Both were competitive and close. One was a low-scoring “pitcher’s duel” and the other was a big-hitting “slugfest.” The Seattle Mariners beat the Oakland Athletics 2-1 in a matchup between great pitchers Felix Hernandez (Seattle) and Jon Lester (Oakland). The Washington Nationals beat the Los Angeles Dodgers in a game that needed extra innings over the normal nine because it was tied after nine. The game ended in the fourteenth inning after the Nationals scored three runs in that inning.

    Line: “People love those high scoring baseball games but I really appreciate a well played defensive game like the one between Oakland and Seattle.

  3. Here comes football — actual sporting events aside, the thing on most sports fans’ minds today is going to be the National Football Leagues season which starts tonight with a game between the defending champions, the Seattle Seahawks, and the Green Bay Packers. Seattle is expected to again have the best defense in the league while Green Bay is expected to have one of the best offenses. The NFL is the least predictable of the major sports leagues but this seems like it will be an exciting game.

    Line: “Remember last year when the defending champion Baltimore Ravens got beat by the Denver Broncos 49 to 27? It could happen again… but I doubt it because Seattle’s defense is too good.”

Clearing a reporter's name after his death

In today’s soundbite and meme-laced world, it’s easy to empathize with someone whose ten seconds of fame came because of a misunderstanding. It’s easy to feel bad for a reporter whose name, when it was brought up, was invariably used as an example of asking a stupid question. Inspired by his death a few days ago, the true story of sports reporter Butch John is starting to come out. I saw this story reblogged by Barry Petchesky on Deadspin.com but its source is reporter Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinal.

The myth of Butch John is so unbelievable that it’s hard to comprehend it having lasted as gospel truth since 1988. In that year, the Washington Redskins faced the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl. Washington’s quarterback was a man named Doug Williams. Williams was the first black man to quarterback his team to the Super Bowl and in the weeks leading up to the big game, that fact became the subject of many stories, television segments, and interviews. During the fateful press conference, Williams was getting a lot of questions about the topic, and he answered them dutifully until Butch John supposedly asked this hum-dinger, “How long have you been a black quarterback?” Now, this is a silly question. As we all learned from Mean Girls, you can’t ask someone why they are (or how long they’ve been) their race.

Of course, this isn’t what John asked. What he actually asked, according to Mike Bianchi, was this, “Doug, it’s obvious you’ve been a black quarterback all your life. When did it start to matter?”

I’m sure that if Williams had heard the question correctly and responded truthfully, he would have said, “it has always mattered and it always will.” I’m sure if we could ask him, Butch John would deny it mattering whether people think he asked a dumb question once upon a time. But I think it matters and so do his former colleagues like Rick Cleveland who writes in an obituary for John:

He wrote well and he wrote often. He was a fine writer and he worked hard. He was versatile in that he handled news, features and columns with equal proficiency.

Better late than never, I suppose, but it’s another lesson to think twice about the stories we read and hear. Things are not always what they seem.

Why are fantasy football drafts so exciting?

I’m hours away from my most important fantasy football draft of the year. I’m full of anticipatory energy. I’m not alone in this feeling this way about fantasy football drafts. The other day I talked to a self-professed fantasy sports obsessive and he described his experience of draft night as “shaky – nervous and excited.” For people who don’t play fantasy sports, and here’s some common ground that many sports fans and non-sports fans can find with each other, the experience of draft night is a strange one. Let’s see if I can explain it.

For a very, very quick reminder, here’s how fantasy football works and what a draft is. Fantasy football is a game that people play with a small group of people, usually friends or colleagues. Just like most other games, the outcome of fantasy football is based partially on choices made by its players and partially on semi-random events that occur in the game’s universe. In a role-playing game like Dungeons & Dragons, these random events may be generated by rolling dice. In video and computer games, there are semi-random events programmed into the game itself – Sim City might generate a challenging natural disaster, a shooting game may present its player with more or fewer enemies to defeat. In fantasy football, the outside force that modifies how the game goes is the real performance of players within the National Football League (NFL). In fantasy football, each player or owner of a fantasy football team has a selection of real NFL players on their team and depending on how the real players perform in real games, their imaginary team will win or lose.

Draft night is the primary time when fantasy football owners construct their teams.  There are two ways that this happens. The most common is a “snake draft” where teams take turns choosing players. Not unlike a playground game, when all the teams have chosen a player, the order is reversed for choosing the second player, and so the draft goes, snaking back and forth. The other model is an auction where   players go up for auction and every team has a chance to bid on them with a (fake) budget. While there is some wiggle room during the fantasy football season to trade players with other teams or to drop players from your team and pick up players who are not on any team, the draft is the most meaningful tactical moment of the whole game.

Beyond simply winning or losing in the imaginary world of fantasy football, draft night is exciting because it establishes which real players you’re going to root for in real football (albeit for your own imaginary team’s purposes) for the next sixteen weeks. Especially for people like me who don’t have a favorite NFL team, my fantasy team’s real players are the ones I end up following and rooting for. This is so widely true that choosing “boring” players has become a good strategy for winning in fantasy football. Because fantasy owners enjoy rooting for the players on their team and they enjoy rooting for volatile, explosive playmakers, there’s a market inefficiency that rewards going against the grain and selecting consistent, not flashy, boring performers.

Players I’ve had on my team for several years are sentimental favorites of mine. In the league I run, we are allowed to keep three players from year to year. I find myself rooting for the players I keep and keeping the players I root for. The best example of this is Brandon Marshall, a wide receiver on the Chicago Bears. Marshall is an outspoken advocate for the normalization of mental disorders, one of which he suffers with himself. Every time he does something for his cause, like wearing lime green cleats (which represent mental illness like pink represents breast cancer,) in a game, I feel proud because he’s on my team. If he weren’t a good player, I wouldn’t keep him on my team, but if he weren’t a good person, I might choose to keep another good player instead. This allegiance can cause problems too, because the truth is that you can’t ever really know someone you don’t know. Take Ray Rice, for example, the star running back suspended for domestic abuse. I can’t remember if I’ve ever had him on my fantasy team but he did play for my alma mater, Rutgers, so I’ve rooted for him for at least a decade in a similar (but probably less intense) way to if he had been on my fantasy team. When your success is tied to a player’s success, the tie you create in your mind with that person is strong. It makes a moral or legal transgression by that player feel more like a betrayal.[1]

One of the good things about fantasy football is that it’s a long period of enjoyment for (usually) not that much or no money. The draft is a big piece of how much I am going to enjoy or be tormented by the it over the next four months.

Fantasy football may be a simulated experience but the excitement is real.

Footnotes    (↵ returns to text)

  1. Did we collectively react to Tiger Woods’ moral transgressions more strongly because of the best selling video game, Tiger Woods’ golf that gave the player the chance to play as Tiger Woods? I bet we did.

Cue Cards 9-2-14

clapperboardCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Over the Weekend —  August 29 to September 1

  1. Harbingers of NFL Football — The professional football season starts this Thursday with one game and then this Sunday with a dozen others. Since the NFL is by far the most popular professional sports league, the upcoming season will likely dominate most water cooler type situations this week. Depending on where you live, your friends, family, and colleagues will be obsessing over the details of a different team but one national story that may spark conversation was the cutting of Michael Sam. Sam, the first openly gay football player to be drafted into the NFL was cut by the team that drafted him this weekend. The questions being asked are, “How much, if any, did being gay play into his being cut? And will he get a chance to play for real this season?”
  2. College football went mostly as planned — As we covered last week, the first weekend of college football is full of easy games for the top twenty five teams in the country. As expected, only three of the top twenty five teams lost their first game, and those were the three (well, three of the six) teams that were brave enough to play another top twenty five team.
  3. The U.S. Open rounds into shape — The major tennis tournament enters its second full week and has narrowed its field to eight women and twelve men. As has often been the case with tennis in the last few years, the male side of the bracket has been more predictable and all three of the favorites, Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, and Roger Federer, are still alive. The women’s side, as has also been the pattern, is more fractured. Of the top seeds, only Serena Williams is still playing. Williams and Federer both have 17 major tournament victories during their wonderful careers. It would be great to see them both play for number 18.
  4. The Basketball World Cup — The FIBA basketball world cup in Spain is underway and after two or three games in each group… nothing surprising has happened. Spain and the United States are still undefeated and look destined to play in the finals against each other. The United States did struggle against Turkey — they even trailed at half-time — but outscored Turkey 63 to 37 in the second half to win by a comfortable margin.

It's the first college football Saturday. What's worth watching?

A couple days ago, to celebrate and brace myself for the first weekend of the college football season, I wrote a post and created an infographic showing which of the top 25 teams have scheduled legitimate games against teams of relatively even strength. There are sixty college football games on today’s schedule but only two of them show up as “spinach” games according to our logic. So, if you want to see some college football today, I recommend you watch Georgia vs. Clemson or LSU vs. Wisconsin.

 

Dear Sports Fan College Football Cupcakes

When American sports go abroad

Gilas Blatche
From Brooklyn to the Philippines — Andray Blatche

In the spirit of one last Summer vacation before the season is over, I’m excited to bring you two wonderful stories about American sports going abroad. One story explores the recent and rapid adoption of American Football in Poland while the other profiles the National Basketball Team of the Philippines and their newest countryman, Andray Blatche, who was born in New York and has played his whole life in the United States.

“What happened in the championship of the Polish American Football League” sounds like the first line of a pre-political correctness ethnic joke but actually it’s a legitimate question for the tens of thousands of people who follow American Football in Poland. Rick Lyman of the New York Times brings us a gripping story about how Poland has embraced American football. It’s a wonderful window into how another culture views the game of football, free from some of the cultural implications and the pressure of billions of dollars that weigh down the conversation in the United States. Some of my favorite parts were the description of how family oriented the live experience of the games are:

At the game against the Goats, besides a bouncy castle, there was an inflatable sliding board, a giant dinosaur, a Starbucks tent, a bubble tea concession, a very popular burger van, a kielbasa grill, a small beer garden beyond the end zone and a “Zibi & Steczki” (steak and potatoes) stand run by the Harley guys.

“We also encourage picnicking,” Mr. Steszewski said. “Of course, we are not up to the standards of American tailgating.”

and a brief look into the one all-women’s team in the league, the aptly named Warsaw Sirens:

“Our colors are pink and black,” said Kamila Glowacz, 29, the team’s president. “You know, because we’re girls.”

The team got started when some of the women visited America and happened to see a game. “Many men told us we should go to the kitchen, not to the field,” she said. “But women, you know, we do what we want to do.”

It’s a wonderful article and is well worth reading to the final, hysterical line. I’ve definitely taken note of Lyman as a writer to follow and I’d love to watch some Polish football if it were ever on TV.

The second story about what happens when American sports go abroad is about the successful recruitment of American Andray Blatche by the Filipino National Basketball team and the process of introducing him to the team. Written by Rafe Bartholomew for Grantland.com, this article is a fun look into a wacky basketball player in a completely curious situation.

International basketball allows for one naturalized citizen to play for each country’s national team. This often means that American college players who either couldn’t make an NBA team or who have tried and failed in the NBA get recruited to play for another country. Recruitment in sports isn’t unusual, it happens at every level, but it is notable when signing up means not just signing a contract but becoming a citizen of a foreign country. In this case, Andray Blatche had to be the subject of a law that passed through the Philippines congress and signed by their president before he could begin playing with the Filipino team.

Once Bartholomew ably tells the tale of how Blatche was courted and signed, he moves on to the important question of how a talented but unreliable 6’11” NBA American center will fit into a team of undersized relatively lesser skilled Filipinos. The answer seems to be, “Pretty well.” The Filipino coach, team, and fans are refreshingly (for our stats obsessed sports landscape) focused on playing with heart and passion. For whatever else you can say about Blatche, he’s got both of those in droves. I loved the parts of the piece when Bartholomew focused on Blatche’s growing relationship with his Filipino teammates and staff. Here’s one choice bit:

Blatche even seemed to develop a genuine closeness with Gilas ball boy Bong Tulabot — and not just because Bong spent the 15 minutes before every practice massaging weapons-grade menthol liniment into Blatche’s calf muscles. “Where’s my guy?” were often the first words out of Blatche’s mouth when he’d enter the gym, and he’d jockey with Alapag for Bong’s attention. The unlikely bond between Blatche, the 28-year-old, 6-foot-11 NBA center, and Bong, the 48-year-old, 5-foot-6 Filipino team handyman who used to sell rice porridge in the street, was consummated when a morning practice ended with a visiting SBP official placing $200 at half court and inviting everyone in the gym to shoot for it. Blatche launched his half-court attempt, and when the ball rattled through the rim Bong leaped in celebration.

“DAT’S MY MAN! DAT’S MY MAN!” Bong shouted in a peculiar falsetto as he ran in circles around the gym. Blatche melted to the floor in laughter, then got up to meet Bong for a running, jumping chest bump, although their height disparity made the maneuver look more like Bong delivering a flying head butt to Blatche’s waist. Nevertheless, the moment was enough to make “DAT’S MY MAN!” the team catchphrase for the rest of its time in Miami.

So far, so good in Blatche’s time with the Filipino national team. The true test comes over the next week when the Philippines will try to upset the world and qualify for the knock out round of the FIBA Basketball World Cup. We’ll be running an article on how that tournament works later today, so keep your eyes to the grindstone.

Cue Cards 8-28-14

clapperboardCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Yesterday — Wednesday, August 27

  1. A Slew of Suspensions • #1 — NFL player Josh Gordon was finally suspended after a long appeals process for a full year because of testing positive for weed. The knee-jerk reaction is going to be to compare the length of his suspension for a non-violent offense to Ray Rice’s two games after assaulting his fiancée. It’s a little bit of a false comparison because the penalties for substance abuse were collectively bargained for and agreed to by the owners and the players union. Also, the chemicals in an athletes body seem more reasonably the jurisdiction of a sports league interested in protecting the fairness of their competition than any crime off the field, no matter how horrible. Then again, weed seems to be on its way to being legalized most everywhere and sexual assault is really, really, really awful. Maybe the knee-jerk reaction is the right one.
  2. A Slew of Suspensions • #2 — University of Southern California football player John Shaw has been suspended indefinitely after admitting his story about spraining his ankles while saving his nephew from drowning was a lie. The indefinite duration probably has something to do with the fact that the true story of the ankle sprains is still either not known or not known publicly. This type of blundering is a good way to remind ourselves, right before the college football season starts, that as much as they look like grown, professional, super-hero athletes, college athletes are still basically kids.
  3. A Slew of Suspensions • # 3 — The University of North Carolina has suspended four of their college football players after an “alleged hazing incident that left walk-on freshman wideout Jackson Boyer with a concussion.” Not much to really say about this one. Even if it wasn’t hazing, it sounds like assault. I suppose it’s helpful to also remember that there are around 125 college students on each of the 125 (symmetry not intended) division one college football teams in the country. That’s 15,625 men from age 18 to 22 who, when they get into trouble, are going to be in the news.
  4. Actual Sports • U.S. Open Upsets — Heat and humidity fray the nerves of even the most casual commuter in New York. So it’s no surprise that it works its evil on tennis players sprinting around mid-day for two to five hours. Two big names on the women’s side of the U.S. Open lost yesterday to relative unknowns. Number four ranked Aga Radwanska lost to Peng Shuai and Sloan Stephens lost to Johanna Larsson.