Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.
NFL Football
Jacksonville Jaguars 22, Baltimore Ravens 20
Line: With Luck out for a while, the Jags are right in the hunt with this win.
What it means: The hunt is for the playoffs and, in this case, the division title. Despite being only 3-6 on the year, the Jaguars are still unbelievably in good position because the rest of their division is also not doing so well and the team currently in the lead, the Indianapolis Colts, just lost their quarterback, Andrew Luck, for an indeterminate amount of time thanks to a kidney injury.
Cleveland Browns 9, Pittsburgh Steelers 30
Line: Ben Roethlisberger is an alien.
What it means: Ben Roethlisberger is the quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He hurt his foot last weekend and was supposed to miss several games because of the injury. He surprised everyone by being able to practice at the end of this past week and somehow talked his way back into the lineup for this game, but only as a backup quarterback in case of injury to his replacement. Sure enough, his replacement got injured and Roethlisberger came into the game. He played great and led the team to a fairly easy victory. Roethlisberger is known for being tough but this may be his most impressive feat of insane, alien-like healing.
Carolina Panthers 27, Tennessee Titans 10
Line: The Panthers remain perfect and if you look at their schedule… who can beat them?
What it means: By beating the Titans today, the Panthers ensure that they are one of the last two or three (the 8-0 Bengals play on Monday night) last undefeated teams in the league. Although they have not gotten as much press as the other undefeated teams, they may have the best chance of remaining undefeated throughout the season. That’s mostly because the teams they are scheduled to play for the rest of the year are all experiencing losing streaks or just outright bad.
Chicago Bears 37, St. Louis Rams 13
Line: The Bears look great but just wait until Bad Cutler shows his face.
What it means: After a terrible start to the year, the Bears seem to have turned things around. They’re playing well and have won four of their last six games. Their quarterback, Jay Cutler, was nearly flawless in this game. He’s capable of playing that way but he’s also prone to having games where nearly everything he does goes badly wrong. His results seem to be more variable than most talented quarterbacks, so some fans talk about him having a good side and a bad side.
Dallas Cowboys 6, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10
Line: In a matchup between Greg Hardy and Jameis Winston, no one wins.
What it means: The Cowboys and Buccaneers employ the two most recent and high profile scandalous football players. Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston came into the league with a history of sexual assault. Greg Hardy, a defensive end for the Cowboys, was convicted of domestic abuse last year, before being signed as a free agent. It’s only a coincidence that this game was a low-scoring, ugly affair, but it’s not a coincidence that I didn’t watch it.
Detroit Lions 18, Green Bay Packers 16
Line: Where were you in 1991?
What it means: That was the last year that the Detroit Lions won a game against the Green Bay Packers in Green Bay. For some pairs of teams, that might only mean a losing streak of six games, but the Packers and Lions are in the same division and therefore play a game against each other in each team’s home stadium every year. That’s quite a losing streak! The Packers almost came back to tie the game in the last second, thanks to a string of unlikely plays, but came up just short. The Packers have now lost three games in a row.
Miami Dolphins 20, Philadelphia Eagles 19
Line: Bradford, Sanchez? Who cares? Kelly’s gone after this year.
What it means: Eagles coach and general manager, Chip Kelly, came into the league with the billing of an offensive mastermind, well earned from his days coaching college. While he has proven that to be true at times, his record of wins and loses as well as his team’s generally desultory play this year is likely to cost him his job. In today’s loss, the Eagles starting quarterback, Sam Bradford, was forced out of the game with a shoulder injury and concussion. He was replaced by backup Mark Sanchez, who some fans have wanted to see in a starting role anyway. I don’t think it matters who starts at quarterback, I think the team has bigger problems.
New Orleans Saints 14, Washington Redskins 47
Line: The Saints continued their streak of allowing lots of points but forgot to score lots as well.
What it means: The New Orleans Saints had been on a weird winning streak before this game. They had won four of the last five games but never held their opponent to fewer than 20 points. It’s as if they decided to admit they couldn’t play defense and focus all of their energy on scoring themselves. That tactic flopped in this game. Their opponent scored lots, but they didn’t. And that, as Yogi Berra would say, is a great way to lose a game.
Minnesota Vikings 30, Oakland Raiders 14
Line: This was a big test but luckily for the Raiders, it wasn’t a final exam.
What it means: Many people viewed this game as a chance to see which of these two up-and-coming teams was “for real.” It’s kind of a silly way to look at the game, because we wouldn’t develop that take unless we thought they both were quite good, but of course only one team will be able to win. The Vikings won but it’s okay to resist the notion that this means the Raiders are bad. Yes, they lost, but they aren’t bad.
Kansas City Chiefs 29, Denver Broncos 13
Line: It’s hard to imagine a worse way to break an NFL record.
What it means: Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning broke the all-time NFL passing yards record in this game. He also threw four interceptions and was pulled from the game in this surprising Broncos loss. Manning and the home Denver fans were robbed of any real celebration on such a dreary day for the team overall. They’ve now lost two games in a row after winning their first seven.
New England Patriots 27, New York Giants 26
Line: It’s never boring when these two teams play.
What it means: The Giants are in the NFC and Patriots are in the AFC, so despite the Boston vs. New York rivalry, there’s really no reason why they should have one of the more storied rivalries in the past decade. Since 2007, the Giants and Patriots have played five times. None of the games have been decided by more than four points. The Patriots have won twice, the Giants three times, but two of the three Giants wins were in Super Bowls. The Giants are the only team that’s ever beaten Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady and coach Bill Bellichick in the Super Bowl. Although marred by a few injuries and bad plays, this game was as suspenseful and entertaining as any in the league this year.
Arizona Cardinals 39, Seattle Seahawks 32
Line: The Seahawks still fight like champions but their results are different this year than from the past two years.
What it means: The Seahawks have been the best team in the league over the past two years. They went to Super Bowls in both years and probably should have won them both. This year, they’re something slightly off. It’s hard to identify and it’s certainly not a lack of effort, but it’s just not working the way it used to. After this loss, they’re 4-5, which is not a terrible record, but they’re also three games behind the Cardinals in their division. It’s going to be tough for them to catch up.