Sports talk is frequently used as a common language but it’s far from universal. If you’re someone who doesn’t follow or even understand sports, you can find yourself at a disadvantage in common small-talk situations like in an elevator, waiting for a bus, sitting at a bar, or around the proverbial water cooler at work. Even if you are a sports fan, it’s impossible to watch everything and know everything. To help in these situations, we provide lines to use when engaged in a conversation about all of the high profile sporting events of the day, plus explanations of what they mean.
NFL Football
Bills 22, Chiefs 30
Line: I know they say momentum doesn’t exist, but it’s hard to explain the Chiefs season any other way.
What it means: Traditionally, athletes, coaches, sports fans, and commentators subscribe to the notion of momentum both within a particular game and throughout a season. It certainly feels like one win makes the next win easier and one loss makes the next loss more likely. More recently though, as statistics and economic theory have taken over the sports world, the truth of momentum has been put in question. Modern statistic heads generally believe that streaks are random, not fated. The Kansas City Chiefs season seems like good evidence for the validity of momentum. After winning their first game, they lost five in a row, seemingly hit rock bottom, and have now won five games in a row.
Rams 7, Bengals 31
Line: Looks like the Bengals train is back on track after a couple of losses.
What it means: The Cincinnati Bengals were undefeated after eight games. Then they lost two games, one miserably, one valiantly, and both on national television. These losses made a lot of people doubt whether the Bengals are really a Super Bowl contender or just, as they say, a pretender. I’m not sure how many people will be convinced by this win, against the increasingly sorry Rams, but to my eye, the Bengals seem like they’ve got a shot.
Saints 6, Texans 24
Line: Defense still beats offense, even in the NFL.
What it means: One of the primary complaints from old-school football fans is that today’s NFL is too slanted toward offense — specifically that the league has created too many rules that allow offenses to operate free from the interference of even the best defenses. That’s not always true, and it wasn’t true in this game, where the team with the great defense, Houston, beat the team with the prolific offense, New Orleans. The Texans have now won four games in a row and are in a close playoff race.
Bucs 12, Colts 25
Line: Old age and treachery wins out of youth and vigor again!
What it means: That’s an old saying, the source of which I’m not sure of, but I love it anyway. In this case, old age and treachery were represented by Indianapolis Colts quarterback, Matt Hasselbeck, who is still undefeated this year. Youth and vigor was represented by Buccaneers quarterback, Jameis Winston, who was four years old when Hasselbeck first played in the NFL.
Chargers 31, Jaguars 25
Line: It’s worth checking the Chargers upcoming schedule. They’re way out of it, but they could be a pretty dangerous spoiler.
What it means: At 3-8, the Chargers are definitely not going to make the playoffs this year. Playing spoiler means trying to beat teams that do have a chance to make the playoffs, even if your team doesn’t. Of course, it’s a slightly silly concept, because every professional football player plays as hard as they can every game for other reasons, like… it’s their job, people who may hire or fire them in the future are watching and evaluating them, playing anything less than your best on every play is perceived as adding to the risk of injury, etc. All that said, it seems like playing spoiler can be a rallying cry anyway.
Dolphins 20, Jets 38
Line: This one had the feel of an elimination game, and the Dolphins definitely got eliminated.
What it means: With both teams at or under .500 coming into this game, and with the undefeated Patriots in their division, the Jets and the Dolphins knew that losing this game would be a mortal blow to their playoff hopes. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Dolphins lost. Aside from a brief moment they had after firing their coach, they’ve been a thoroughly uninspired and uninspiring team this year. The Jets’ hopes live on for at least another week.
Vikings 20, Atlanta Falcons 10
Line: The weekend just got worse for Green Bay.
What it means: It does the Falcons and the Vikings both a disservice, but the story of this game is more about a higher profile team than either of them, the Green Bay Packers. The Packers are expected to win their division, which the Vikings are in, but they’ve played poorly over the last few weeks, including in a loss to the Chicago Bears on Thanksgiving. This win by the Vikings puts them in the lead, over the Packers, in their division, the NFC North. No city cares more about their NFL team than Green Bay, and they’ll be in a profound state of crisis this week.
Giants 14, Redskins 20
Line: Of all the improbable outcomes from this season, seeing the Redskins in first place would just about be the tops.
What it means: Okay, no one really describes things as being “the tops” anymore, but try it, it could be fun! Washington was a dysfunctional 4-12 last year and an even more pathetic 3-13 the season before that. Now, they’re 5-6, which in their terrible division, is good enough for first place! They could make the playoffs! That would be funny!
Raiders 24, Titans 21
Line: The Raiders are up and down now, but it seems like they’re learning. Watch out for them in the next few years.
What it means: The Raiders are a young team with some extremely exciting players. On offense, they have promising young players are quarterback, wide receiver, and running back. Although it looked like they might make a playoff run this year, they probably won’t make it. That’s okay for Raiders fans, who are happy just to have a competitive team and will be counting on their team improving next year and in coming years. The same should be true for the Titans, but less to a lesser degree.
Cardinals 19, 49ers 13
Line: Cardinals fans don’t mind winning ugly, but the running back injuries could be a problem.
What it means: A win is a win is a win. No matter how you get it, it counts the same in the standings. Some can be more costly than others though, and in this case, the concern for Cardinals fans is that two of their top three running backs left the game with injuries. They’ll be waiting by their twitter machines for updates on them. No matter how explosive their third stringer, rookie David Johnson is, no one wants to have the fate of their team in a first year player’s hands.
Steelers 30, Seattle Seahawks 39
Line: This isn’t your father’s Steelers… or your older sister’s Seahawks for that matter.
What it means: Both of these teams have had periods of near dynastic dominance and both due to the strength of their defenses. The Steelers defense in the 1970s has become legendary and the Seahawks defense over the past five years was approaching that status. That’s what makes this game, with its wide open offensive play and very high score, so jarring to see. These teams are very different from those that came before them.
Patriots 24, Broncos 30
Line: Who cares about this game? The only important thing is Gronk’s MRI.
What it means: The defending champion New England Patriots have suffered a series of injuries to important players over the past few weeks. The lost their second most important offensive player tonight, Rob Gronkowski, to a nasty looking knee injury. If he’s out for the season, the Patriots will have no realistic chance to defend their title. Now, reducing this game to Gronkowski’s injury is not completely fair, it was a big win for the Broncos, who solidified their position at the top of their division, away from the charging Chiefs, but the loss certainly doesn’t hurt the Patriots nearly as much as the potential loss of Gronkowski.