Following Sports Archives - Page 72 of 79

Cue Cards 1-6-14: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners in our cue cards series on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:

NFL One Liners

The first week of the playoffs!

Indianapolis 45, Kansas City 44 — The closest, most back-and-forth game in a weekend full of closely contested games, people will be talking about:

How Chiefs coach Andy Reid stayed true to his nature by wasting his team’s time-outs which left them unable to possibly get the ball back for one last shot at the end of the fourth quarter.
How Colts quarterback Andrew Luck stayed true to his nature by leading his team’s unbelievable comeback from 28 points down in the third quarter.
How many injuries the Chiefs sustained to important players, especially star running back Jamal Charles who left the game very early with a head injury and did not return.

What’s next: The Colts go up to New England to play the Patriots next Saturday night at 8:15 on CBS. The Colts and the Patriots have had many memorable meetings in the playoffs in the last 15 years but all of them involved Peyton Manning who is now playing for the Broncos.

Philadelphia 24, New Orleans 26 — Saturday’s night game also came down to the wire. People will be talking about:

All week the narrative was that the Saints had trouble winning on the road and in the cold, both of which they just did. So much for that.
The Saints were able to “win” the battle of the offensive line and defensive line. On defense they found a way to hold the Eagles great running game to not-so-many yards and on offense they ran for 175 yards and only allowed two sacks.
The overriding factor in this game might have been experience. The Saints quarterback and coach have been together since 2006. The Eagles coach and quarterback were new to each other and (more or less) the NFL this season.

What’s next: The Saints travel to Seattle to play the Seahawks, Saturday 4:35 on Fox. This is a rematch of a memorable playoff game from 2011 which the Seahawks won 41 – 36.

Cincinnati 10, San Diego 27 — The one lopsided game of the weekend was the early game on Sunday. People will be talking about:

How the Chargers barely made the playoffs. They needed two other teams to lose last weekend just for them to have a chance.
How the quarterback of the Bengals, Andy Dalton, really blew it. Dalton has blown it in the playoffs before, so now it’s a pattern, which is never good. Plus he has red hair, which seems to be a magnet for criticism. Editorial note: he really did blow it. He threw two bad interceptions and fumbled the ball in the second half.

What’s next: A rematch of the week 15 (two weeks ago) game that started the Charger’s run to the playoffs. They travel to Denver to play the Broncos Sunday, 4:40 on CBS. The Chargers and the Broncos are division rivals but have surprisingly never played in the playoffs.

Green Bay 20, San Francisco 23 — The last of the four games was an icy affair in Green Bay. People will be talking about:

How the 49ers seem to have the Packers’ number. This makes three straight defeats starting with last year’s playoff game. This one was closer but still.
How all three of the outside, cold weather games were won by teams from California and New Orleans. So much for home-field and home-environment advantage.
How the 49ers are a tougher, bigger, more physical team than the Packers.

What’s next: The 49ers travel to North Carolina to play the Panthers on Sunday at 1:05 on Fox. The Panthers are the East Coast equivalent of the 49ers — big, strong, with an incredible defense and a young, talented, running quarterback.

Fantasy Football for Dog Lovers

puppy bowl — The play was fast and furious during Puppy Bowl XII

The NFL playoffs begin this weekend. That means four games for the next two weekends, followed by two games the weekend after that, followed by a two week media barrage of pre-Super Bowl stories, followed the Super Bowl itself. This might not sound like a great upcoming schedule for non-sports fans but there are some benefits. Deadspin.com highlighted one of them today with their coverage of a new feature that Animal Planet is adding to their 10th annual Puppy Bowl.

That’s right — it’s the Fantasy Puppy League! As we explained a few months ago, fantasy football is role playing game that millions of people play based on the statistics produced by real-life football games. There aren’t many details about this variant but I can only assume that Animal Planet will generate some kind of arbitrary stats based on the somewhat aimless activity of puppies (according to Wikipedia, in “Puppy Bowl VI, substitutions were made whenever a puppy fell asleep on the field.”)

If you are interested in learning more about the Puppy Bowl, its Wikipedia entry is a wonderful read. It contains the befuddling but compelling line, “The hamsters in the blimp and Meep the “tweeting” cockatiel were retained for the 2013 show, but the piglet cheerleaders were replaced by baby hedgehogs in tutus.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m in!

Cue Cards 12-30-13: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

NFL One Liners

The last week of the regular season!

Cincinnati 34, Baltimore 17 — In what was a bit of a recurring theme for today, the Ravens needed to win this game to qualify for the playoffs and they seemed almost hamstrung by needing it so badly. The Bengals beat them soundly.

Pittsburgh 20, Cleveland 7 — The Steelers were the longest of the four teams in the AFC that had a chance to get the last playoff spot. They needed to win and have Baltimore, Miami, and San Diego lose. They came, so, so close.

Atlanta 20, Carolina 21 — This is the kind of game that illustrates how the NFL has more parity than any other league. The not-so-good Falcons gave the very-good Panthers a run for their money.

Minnesota 14, Detroit 13 — Having been eliminated from playoff contention last week in ignominious fashion, this was the cherry on top of the poop for Lions fans.

Tennessee 16, Houston 10 — By losing this game, the Texans clinched possession of the number one draft pick in next year’s NFL draft which goes to the team with the worst record. At least now Texans fans have something interesting to think about.

Indianapolis 30, Jacksonville 10 — Recently Super Bowls have been won by teams, like Baltimore last year, that haven’t been dominant during the regular season. The Colts have a little bit of that feel to them… but they could also just lose in the first round next weekend. Who knows?

Miami 7, New York Jets 20 — Miami was the worst of the teams that needed to win and just couldn’t do it. The Jets, despite seeming awful for most of the year, end on a high note by eliminating their rivals from the playoffs.

New York Giants 20, Washington 6 — This adds fuel to the fire of people claiming that Redskins coach Mike Shanahan is trying to get fired.

New England 34, Buffalo 20 — Ho hum, Tom Brady, Bill Bellichick, and the New England Patriots have their 13th winning season in a row. The next longest streak in the NFL is four.

Chicago 28, Green Bay 33 — This was one of two de-facto playoff games where the winner of the game would make the playoffs and the loser would be out. It was a great game with lots of drama and lead-changes, and it came down to some last minute heroics by star Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers who came back this weekend after missing seven weeks with a broken collar bone.

Oakland 14, Denver 34 — The Broncos and their quarterback Peyton Manning finished their record breaking season by breaking all kinds of records. The Raiders… not so much.

San Diego 27, Kansas City 24 — This was probably the weirdest game of the day. This game meant literally nothing to the Chiefs, who couldn’t move up or down in playoff seeding, and everything to the Chargers who knew they just needed to win to make the playoffs. The Chiefs benched almost all of their starters and still almost beat the Chargers in overtime. Fans in San Diego and Pittsburgh (which would have made the playoffs if the Chargers had lost) spent three and a half hours in agony.

New Orleans 42, Tampa Bay 17 — The Saints had to win to ensure a playoff spot and they certainly were convincing.

Arizona 20, San Francisco 23 — It must have been tough for the Cardinals players to concentrate knowing that they needed to win and have the Saints lose to make the playoffs. The Cardinals have the unwanted mantle of best team to miss the playoffs.

Seattle 27, St. Louis 9 — Last week I wrote that for some reason I still don’t think the Seahawks are very good. I still don’t. I will continue to write this until after they win the Super Bow.

Dallas 22, Philadelphia 24 — This was the second win-or-go-home game of the day and, like the Bears vs. Packers, it was an exciting game. The Cowboys continued their soap-opera-ish ways by losing their starting quarterback, Tony Romo, to back surgery in the week preceding this game. They still almost had enough to sneak by the Eagles and make the playoffs.

Sports is for Lovers

I know, I know, Virginia is for lovers is the line, but three articles popped out at me recently that made me think that really Sports is for lovers too! One is the story behind sports blog Deadspin’s “Favorite Sports Photo of 2013.” The other one, found by another sports blog, The Big Lead, is an obscure scientific study investigating the legend (or reality) of a baby boom in Barcelona exactly nine months after a dramatic soccer victory. The last is a bonus collection of great hockey hugs!

San Fran Kissing — This photo by Deanne Fitzmaurice went viral.

The legend of baby booms nine months after events is common story. The study made reference to the 1965 blackout in New York but I can remember other stories following events like the olympics, big blizzards, and even the election of Barack Obama (although that one, at least, seems to not have been true.) The event these scientists studied was the goal Andres Iniesta scored in dramatic fashion to send Barcelona to the Champions League final. The Champions League is a tournament where the best teams from each of the national leagues in Europe play each other for continental bragging rights. Their conclusion?

We may infer that—at least among the target population—the heightened euphoria following a victory can cultivate hedonic sensations that result in intimate celebrations, of which unplanned births may be a consequence.

That’s some great writing, guys! I love scientific studies of lay subjects!

Might lay also have been the operational word in the story behind the wonderful story of two San Francisco 49ers fans kissing to celebrate their team’s victory in last year’s NFL playoff semifinals? A gentleman never tells — and in this case, both of the people captured in the photo were gentlemen! Photographer Deanne Fitzmaurice writes that the wonderful response the photo received in the days after she took it, “made [her] realize we have gained some ground in terms of acceptance and broader thinking.”

When was the last time you were so happy?

To put the cherry on top of our sports-love-fest, enjoy Yahoo’s hockey blog, Puck Daddy’s “Top 10 Hockey Hugs of 2013.” It’s just great! My favorite is this one between Hurricanes Jeff Skinner and Jay Harrison but there are nine more good ones to check out. Enjoy!

Cue Cards 12-23-13: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

NFL One Liners

At this point in the season, the plot of most games has to do with whether the teams in it will make the playoffs.

Miami 0, Buffalo 19 — By losing to the bottom feeding Bills, the Dolphins need to win next week and hope that Baltimore loses or (oddly) San Diego wins.

Minnesota 14, Cincinnati 42 — The Bengals officially clinched a playoff spot by beating the Vikings but there wasn’t much drama here — the Vikings were out and the Bengals all but surely in before the game even started.

Indianapolis 23, Kansas City 7 — Both these teams are going to make the playoffs; the wrinkle in this game is that they might play each other again in two weeks during the first round of the playoffs. Did the Colts “send a message” to the Chiefs? Or were the Chiefs not showing the Colts their best stuff to lull them into a false sense of security?

Tampa Bay 13, St. Louis 23 — Two bad teams that might both be good next year or the year after. The Rams have a bunch of good players and extra draft picks from a trade with the Redskins. The Buccaneers look like they have some great young players too.

Cleveland 13, New York Jets 24 — The future is a little less clearly bright for these two mediocre teams. Sorry Jets fans!

Dallas 24, Washington 23 — The soap opera of the NFC East (the division with these two teams plus the Giants and Eagles) continues. Star tragic hero and Cowboys quarterback, Tony Romo, threw a touchdown pass on fourth and goal (last chance!!) with a minute left in the game to go up by one point. The drama will conclude next week when the Cowboys play the Eagles Sunday night and whoever wins that game will qualify for the playoffs.

New Orleans 13, Carolina 17 — Another game between division rivals, albeit with a higher quality of play. By winning this game, the Panthers put themselves in a position where if they win next week, they get one of the top two positions in their conference playoffs which means they can take the first week of the playoffs off to rest and prepare. The Saints are likely to make the playoffs anyway.

Tennessee 20, Jacksonville 16 — This game didn’t mean anything for the playoffs. Not even a little bit.

Denver 37, Houston 13 — Broncos quarterback, Peyton Manning, broke the all-time NFL record for touchdown passes in a season by throwing his 51st of the year. Houston is 24th in the league with 19 touchdown passes for the year. Yikes.

New York Giants 23, Detroit 20 — The Lions cement their reputation as a talented but ultimately dumb and unsuccessful team by losing in over-time to the hapless Giants. The Lions are eliminated from the playoffs with this loss and their coach will surely be fired.

Arizona 17, Seattle 10 — The Cardinals did what no team has done since 2011 — travel to Seattle and win. This keeps the Cardinals playoff hopes alive and makes me happy because for some reason, despite several straight seasons of excellence, I still refuse to believe the Seahawks are good.

Pittsburgh 38, Green Bay 31 — The scenic game of the day, played in the snow in Green Bay, went down to the last two minutes when the Steelers scored to win it. This win keeps the Steelers playoff hopes alive (though barely) and means that the Packers game against the Bears next week will decide which of those two teams makes the playoffs.

Oakland 13, San Diego 26 — The Chargers are alive. The Raiders are not.

New England 41, Baltimore 7 — This was an odd result from a game that the Ravens needed to win for playoff positioning far more than the Patriots did. The Ravens aren’t eliminated but they need to win next week and have either the Chargers or Dolphins lose to get in.

Chicago 11, Philadelphia 54 — Maybe there’s a pattern here — the Bears, like the Ravens, needed to win this game far more than the Eagles did, and instead of that helping them, it seemed to hurt. There’s probably a life lesson in there somewhere, but I want to find it so badly that…

Cue Cards 12-16-13: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

NFL One Liners

Washington 26, Atlanta 27 — This game was a hysterical melodrama as acted by below average football teams. At one point in the game there were three turnovers on successive plays. In total there were seven fumbles! The Falcons won when the Redskins decided to try to win the game on a two point conversion in the final minute instead of tying the game and going to overtime.

Chicago 38, Cleveland 31 — The Bears coach made the brave decision to give the starting quarterback job back to Jay Cutler who had missed the past several games with an injury and whose replacement had been playing great. Cutler played well but not flawlessly and the coach would have taken a lot of criticism if the team had lost.

Houston 3, Indianapolis 25 — Ouch, sorry Texans.

New England 20, Miami 24 — This game will be seen as a referendum on the Patriots’ Super Bowl chances after losing their star tight-end, Rob Gronkowski for the season with torn knee ligaments at the end of the previous game.

Philadelphia 30, Minnesota 48 — Oh Philadelphia, after beating Detroit in the snow to take first place in their division last week, this game against the not-so-good Vikings should have been an easy win. Instead, third-string running back, Matt Asiata, who not even the most obsessive fantasy football fan had heard of before this week, ran for three touchdowns and the rout was on.

Seattle 23, New York Giants 0 — Talking about routs. Ugh. Not a great day in New York.

San Francisco 33, Tampa Bay 14 — The 49ers are a big strong team that beats up consistently on weaker teams like the Buccaneers.

Buffalo 27, Jacksonville 20 — The Bills won the game but at least half their fans are probably pissed at them for giving the Jaguars a better draft pick. Draft position is set in reverse order of standings, so a game like this between two teams at the bottom of the standings often has mixed incentives.

Kansas City 56, Oakland 31 — The Chiefs went up 21-3 in the first quarter and never let up.

New York Jets 20, Carolina 30 — Like I said before, not a good day in New York for the football inclined.

Green Bay 37, Dallas 36 — In hysterically typical fashion, the Cowboys who are known for blowing leads, and Tony Romo, who is known for throwing terrible interceptions at the worst possible moment, blew a 23 point lead aided by Tony Romo’s two interceptions in the last two minutes of the game.

Arizona 37, Tennessee 34 — It’s really a shame that division winners automatically get playoff spots because it means either the Eagles or the Cowboys will get in and Arizona, which is 9-5 but third place in their division, will probably miss out.

New Orleans 16, St. Louis 27 — The Rams, the fourth team in the NFC West with the Cardinals, 49ers, and Seahawks, showed its own strength by beating the 10-4 Saints.

Cincinnati 20, Pittsburgh 30 — Big brother reaches back in time and beats little brother even though the little brother Bengals are going to the playoffs while the big brother Steelers are going home early this year.

Cue Cards 12-9-13: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

NFL One Liners

Indianapolis 28, Cincinnati 42 — The Bengals and the Colts were both in first place of their divisions before this game and both remain so after the game. Nothing to see here, let’s move on.

Atlanta 21, Green Bay 22 — The Packers have been trying to keep their playoff hopes alive for the last month while their star quarterback, Aaron Rodgers, heals from a fractured collarbone. Today’s victory over the hapless Falcons gives Rodgers a chance to come back next week and play the prodigal son role.

Cleveland 26, New England 27 — This result probably suits both teams just fine. The Browns are on their way to a better draft pick and the Patriots are on their way to the playoffs. The only negative aspect is that Patriots star tight-end Rob Gronkowski left the game with what is rumored to be a torn ACL.

Oakland 27, New York Jets 37 — These teams are bad and they didn’t even play in a snow storm. BORING!

Detroit 20, Philadelphia 34 — These teams are relatively good and they played in about a foot and a half of snow. AWESOME!

Miami 34, Pittsburgh 28 — My brother has a hard time reconciling the fact that the players on each team are not actually from the team’s location. The fact that the Miami team went to Pittsburgh, played in the snow and wind, and won, should help convince him.

Buffalo 6, Tampa Bay 27 — Buccaneers running back Bobby Rainey ran for an 80 yard touchdown in the first few minutes of the game and his team never looked back.

Kansas City 45, Washington 10 — I suspect that when the shutdown ended a few months ago, it was mistakenly shifted from the government to the football team.

Minnesota 26, Baltimore 29 — This game was 12-7 with less than three minutes left. And it didn’t go to overtime. The teams scored five touchdowns in the final 2:05 of the game. It’s insanity may only be matched by its impact for the Ravens and their fans if they make the playoffs because of it.

Tennessee 28, Denver 51 — After a brief detour, the Broncos train to the Super Bowl seems back on track.

St. Louis 10, Arizona 30 — There’s an old joke that goes, “Poor Mexico. So far from God, and so close to the United States.” Same could be said of both of these teams in relation to the other two teams in their division, the 49ers and Seahawks, whose dominance makes their fine play pale in comparison.

New York Giants 14, San Diego 37 — Both these teams vacillate wildly in terms of quality of play. Today the Chargers were up and the Giants were down but neither one is going to make the playoffs.

Seattle 17, San Francisco 19 — You know it was a rough game when the winning coach compared it to getting root canal.

Carolina 13, New Orleans 31 — The Panthers had won eight games in a row, but the Saints were unbeaten at home. Something had to give and in this case it wasn’t the gumbo.

Do Not Watch This Football Game: Jacksonville vs Houston

no-football — Image from http://bit.ly/18mWCRL

On Thursday, December 5, at 8:25 ET, an NFL football game between Jacksonville and Houston will be televised on the NFL network. Do not watch this football game! This is a blog about sports, written by a sports fan for non-sports fans, but today, I’m writing to all the sports fans out there. If you are a regular non-sports fan reader pass this along to the sports fans in your life! Unless they are from Jacksonville or Houston, there’s no reason for them to watch this football game and there are plenty of good reasons not to. Here are some of the reasons:

1. Do not watch this football game because the teams playing are horrible

The Jacksonville Jaguars have three wins and nine losses so far this year. They are last in the league in total points scored per game and third to last in total points allowed. Their average game sees them giving up 29.3 points and scoring only 14.5 points. (Football scoring can be complicated, but even it cannot produce decimals — these are just averages.) They have been blown out of many of the games they’ve played this year. Beyond being bad, they’re also uninteresting. Early in the season, Jaguars fans held a rally to urge their team to sign popular but probably incompetent quarterback Tim Tebow. Even this was ineffective at driving interest in the team. Almost no one showed up. Tebow, despite fake rumors of the contrary from eyeofthetiber.com, remains unsigned.^[1]

If it’s possible, the Houston Texans are an even more depressing team. Their record, two wins and ten losses, is worse than the Jaguars. The Texans are fourth worst in the league in terms of points scored (19.2) and sixth worst in points allowed (26.9). Unlike Jaguars fans, fans of the Texans were not prepared for this type of season. The previous two years, the Texans were 10-6 and 12-4 and won their division both times. There were no real hints that things were going to go so badly this year, but they did. Their starting quarterback caught a bad case of the yips (according to Wikipedia, “the apparent loss of fine motor skills without apparent explanation, in one of a number of different sports”) and threw interceptions that were returned for defensive touchdowns in four straight games before getting injured and subsequently benched. Their star running back, Arian Foster, is out for the rest of the year after back surgery. Their best defensive player, Brian Cushing, is also out for the year with a torn ligament in his knee and a broken leg. To add injury to injury, their head coach suffered a “warning stroke” at halftime of a game.

2. Do not watch this football game because it will be bad for your social life

Here’s the deal. It’s getting late in the season. Your friends, family, and significant others have lived through thirteen weeks of football so far and you KNOW that you’re going to want to watch a bunch more football because now it’s the fantasy football playoffs (more on that later) and the real playoffs will follow shortly after that. Last week was Thanksgiving, so there were not one, not two, but three football games on Thursday and though we argued for the inclusion of football in Thanksgiving celebrations, it’s an accommodation that your non-sports fan friends and family made for you. Don’t push it. Make dinner, go to a movie, play a card game, studiously avoid decorating the festivus pole. Do anything, but do not watch this football game.

3. Do not watch this football game because it doesn’t even have any fantasy implications

I know, I know, it’s not a good game, it’s not an important game, but it’s the fantasy football playoffs! In most fantasy leagues, the playoffs begin this week and normally this would drive people to pay close attention to even the most mundane football game. Seriously though, if you have been counting on a player from one of these teams, it’s unlikely your team has qualified for the fantasy playoffs. There’s really not too many players in this game who should be starting on your fantasy team this week anyway. Sure, wide receiver Andre Johnson and running backs Ben Tate and Maurice Jones-Drew are decent plays most weeks, but it’s a reasonably well-studied fact that players perform worse during Thursday games. I say, don’t count on any of these players, do not watch the game, and thank me later.

4. Do not watch this game because watching it is bad for football and terrible for football players

This is the most interesting and most compelling argument for why you should not watch this game. Playing a game on Thursday night, just four days after the previous Sunday’s game, is absolutely brutal. MMQB.com ran a wonderful article about this by Robert Klemko, which initially inspired this post. In it, Klemko quotes Texans offensive lineman, Duane Brown:

“That Friday, everything was hurting; knees, hands, shoulders,” he remembers. “I didn’t get out of bed until that night. I didn’t leave the house at all. You talk about player safety, but you want to extend the season and add Thursday games? It’s talking out of both sides of your mouth.”

“Knees, hands, shoulders” are one thing but heads are another entirely. We’re still learning about concussions but a few things are reasonably clear. Players will hide concussions from their teams and try to play despite them. The most dangerous thing that can happen to a player who is concussed is to get concussed again and this is more likely the less rest they have after their first concussions. Playing games with less than six days of rest is painful and dangerous.

If we give the NFL the benefit of the doubt (which I’m not positive we should) about being sincerely concerned for player safety, how can we rationalize their expansion of the NFL schedule to include more and more Thursday games? Klemko writes that the value of those games to the league is enormous — estimated at over $700 million dollars per year on top of making the NFL network (which televises most of the Thursday night games) a viable network. And it’s our viewing, particularly of bad match-ups like this one, that drives that value. Klemko writes:

Putting aside for a moment the injury concerns, who would actually want to watch these 14 games featuring fatigued players, often pitting bad teams against good ones, or worse, the 2-10 Texans vs. the 3-9 Jaguars (8:25 PM ET, Thursday, NFL Network)?

Answer: EVERYBODY.

“You have Houston and Jacksonville, which no one is looking forward to,” Ourand says, “but even that game is going to win the night on cable within the male demographics everybody sells, and it will be one of the top 5 or 10 shows on TV. The power of the NFL and why they want to go to Thursday is more evident in this game than in any other.”

So far at least, that seems to be true. Fans, including myself, have watched the Thursday games faithfully. I can’t say I’m completely happy about it though. I think it seriously dilutes the NFL experience. There’s something special about isolating all of the games on Sunday (and Monday night.) It makes every Sunday an anticipated event; a miniature holiday of the football denomination. I am particularly frustrated about the Thursday game’s impact on my enjoyment of fantasy football. Part of the fun of fantasy football is approaching a Sunday full of football knowing that, like in each game that day, you start 0-0 and anything could happen. The Thursday game almost always means that instead of that “anything could happen” feeling, you have a “oh, I’m ahead, I should win this” feeling or a “oh man, I’m definitely not going to win” feeling. It’s a lot less fun that way.

For this Thursday, at least, let’s do our part for the players, for our relationships, for our sanity, and not watch the football game.

Footnotes (↵ returns to text)

Thanks Dad for passing me this delightful article↵

Cue Cards 12-2-13: NFL One Liners

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

NFL One Liners

Jacksonville 32, Cleveland 28 — Once in a while, two bad teams play each other and produce a great game. This back-and-forth game was one of those.

Tennessee 14, Indianapolis 22 — The Colts pretty much locked up the division championship and a playoff spot today by beating the Titans.

Chicago 20, Minnesota 23 — Both teams missed field goals which would have won the game in overtime before the Vikings finally kicked one successfully.

Miami 23, New York Jets 3 — For the first half of the season, a common story was how surprising it was that the Jets were winning games. Now we know why everyone was surprised!

Arizona 21, Philadelphia 24 — I’m not sure why, but these two teams are always connected in my mind. They’re both birds (Cardinals and Eagles) and they both tend to play fun, throw-a-lot styles. They played true to form today by playing a close game which left them both 7-5 on the year.

Tampa Bay 6, Carolina 27 — Eight straight victories for Carolina, many of them, like today’s, extremely convincing. Makes you think they are the best team in the league right now.

New England 34, Houston 31 — New England is definitely not the best team in the league. Too many close games against too many not-very-good opponents like the Texans. But, another game, another victory, and the Patriots are will easily win their division.

Atlanta 34, Buffalo 31 — This game was another just like the Cleveland v. Jacksonville game: two bad teams, one extremely entertaining game.

St. Louis 13, San Francisco 23 — Poor St. Louis, stuck in a division with Seattle and San Francisco. It’s hard to compete against those two teams.

Denver 35, Kansas City 28 — Three weeks ago the Chiefs were 9-0 and on top of the world. Now they’ve lost three straight and everyone is talking about them like they’ll never win another game. My guess is the truth is somewhere in-between.

Cincinnati 17, San Diego 10 — The Bengals don’t get a lot of respect — because they have a history of dumb decisions on and off the field, because they have a red-headed quarterback, and because they wear tiger-print helmets — but they’ve won twice the number of games that they’ve lost this year. That’s gotta count for something.

New York Giants 24, Washington 17 — In the last minute of this game, Washington had the ball and needed to go down the field and score a touchdown to tie the game up. The refs pulled a bait-and-switch move on them, the likes of which, I and announcers Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth had never seen before. What happened was that on second down the Redskins looked like they earned a new set of downs. Most of the officials on the field, including the guys with the chains and down sign on the side of the field acted like the Redskins had a first down but the head ref apparently did not agree. After the next play, which the Redskins thought was a first down, the head ref told the teams that it was now fourth down. The Redskins were furious but had no recourse and after one last unsuccessful play, they lost. People will definitely be talking about this today!

Plot in Football, Thanksgiving Edition: Steelers at Ravens

As a companion to the recent post on why football is a special part of Thanksgiving for many sports fans, I’m going to explain some of the plot points of the three Thanksgiving day football games this year.

Game 1 — Packers at Lions, 12:30 on Fox
Game 2 — Raiders at Cowboys, 4:30 on CBS
Game 3 — Steelers at Ravens, 8:30 on NBC

I’m thankful to everyone who has read, commented, asked a question, or otherwise supported Dear Sports Fan this year.

Thanks and have a wonderful holiday,
Ezra Fischer

Pittsburgh Steelers at Baltimore Ravens, 8:30 on NBC

SteelersRavens — The Ravens in purple and black play the Steelers in black and yellow

The turkey’s been brined, basted, braised, and broiled. The pie has been eaten. The family has been feuded with. Just when you’re ready to sneak back into the kitchen for a turkey sandwich… BOOM! another football game begins.

When the people who create the NFL schedule put this one on the docket for Thanksgiving night, they probably thought they were pretty clever. Baltimore had just won the Super Bowl and Pittsburgh, although it had just missed the playoffs, was a perennial power that had made it to the Super Bowl three times in the past ten years and won it twice. As two of the four teams in the AFC North, Baltimore and Pittsburgh were natural rivals known for playing close and fierce games against one another. Finally, both teams were known for being led by smothering, violent defenses whose aim seemed equally to prevent their opponents from scoring and from finishing the game without broken bones. They were the perfect choice to lure fans back to the television after a long day and to keep them alert through a haze of tryptophan.

In the NFL, the best laid schemes of men and schedulers often go awry. The defending champion Baltimore Ravens started the season by getting blown out by the Denver Broncos, rallied a bit, and have now lost four of their last six games. They’re really struggling and at 5-6 are two games back from the division leading Cincinnati Bengals. The Steelers are in exactly the same position at 5-6 but got there very differently. They started the season with four straight losses and looked like they were doomed to a painful few years of losing a lot while slowly rebuilding the talent on their team. After their second loss the veterans on the team decided to ban the rookies from playing ping-pong or pool in the locker room. After the fourth loss, the coach tried to “unify” the team by banning everyone from playing any games^[1] in the locker room. This seems to have had^[2] the intended effect and from that point on the Steelers have won five of their last seven games.

Based on the team’s identical records and their both being two games behind the division lead with only four games to play, their game on Thanksgiving night will have a big impact on whether or not they will make the playoffs. In every sport, there is a palpable difference in play between a regular season game and a playoff game. The NFL is less different from other sports because its short 16 game season makes every regular season game proportionally more important than one of 82 in the NHL or the NBA or one in 162 in the MLB. Still, the hitting will be harder, the scrambling more desperate, and the decisions even more agonized over in this game.

Enjoy the drama and the leftovers!

Footnotes (↵ returns to text)

With the exception of football, I assume↵
With the millions of factors that go into the outcome of every play, it’s just as good to attribute turns in the fortune of a team to this as anything else.↵