Aaron Hernandez, Sports and Crime

Dear Sports Fan,

What is going on up in Boston with the football player Aaron Hernandez? Did he really kill someone? Why does it seem like athletes are in trouble with the law so often?

Thanks,
AJ

— — —

Hi AJ,

It’s not completely clear what’s going on in Boston with Patriots’ Tight End Aaron Hernandez. Here’s what we do know: a 27 year-old man named Odin Lloyd is dead. He was found Monday morning and by Wednesday his death had been ruled a homicide. As the Boston Globe reports, Aaron Hernandez is “embroiled” in this story in a number of ways. Lloyd either was or had been dating Hernandez’ sister. Hernandez was out with Lloyd and some other people the night Lloyd died. Hernandez apparently drove Lloyd and two other friends in a car away from the club where Lloyd was last seen alive. The car, a rental, was found abandoned near the body and had been registered to Hernandez. Hernandez also is said to have destroyed his home security system and cell-phone sometime after Monday night.

The media of course (including this website, I guess, although this is our first and hopefully last post on the subject) has been ALL over this story. According to the New York Times which clearly likes to see itself as above the fray:

“Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?” said Michael McDowell, a laborer for a mason contractor, as he cleared off the bed of a company truck and looked up at a chopper overhead. He wore a faded Patriots T-shirt. “Football player, on the run.” Hernandez was not running from the police; he was evading the news media, who sprang into action for a relatively mundane pursuit when he left his house on Thursday morning.

The blog-o-sphere has been equally focused. Deadspin.com even ran a post covering a tweet which relayed the information that an edible arrangement had just been sent to Aaron Hernandez’ house. Meanwhile the police have been fairly silent on the topic aside from saying that Hernandez is a “person of interest.” The most recent development is that lots of sites reported that an arrest warrant for Hernandez for obstructing justice had been issued. That report was pretty quickly disputed and as of now it seems as though no warrant has been issued.

So what do we make of all of this? There are a few things I find interesting. First is of course the question you asked about why it seems like athletes are always mixed up in stuff like this. I’m cautious about commenting on this authoritatively but most of what I find online suggests that “it is not clear that athletes are any more involved in serious crime than the general population is.” An interesting Duke study concludes that athletes actually commit fewer crimes than a similar segment of the general population. When they do commit crimes, it stands to reason that they will be far more public than the general population. Second is whether or not Hernandez committed a crime. My guess is that he did, but it seems just as likely that he is guilty of aiding, abetting, and protecting someone who committed murder as it is that he committed murder himself. Last is my own reaction which has been a small but constant voice in my head saying “this guy was on my fantasy football team!??!” As if somehow that makes me connected to the incident or more shocking that someone I’m related to that closely is involved with a murder. This speaks either to the power of fantasy sports or to my having a screw loose.

Thanks,
Ezra Fischer

Cue Cards 6-21-13

stk321064rknCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Sport: Basketball
Teams: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs
When: Thursday night, 6-20-13
Context: Game 7 of the NBA Championships. The seven game series was tied 3-3.
Result: Heat win 95-88
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • Legacy. The word on everyone’s lips will be legacy. Two championships in a row and three straight trips to the finals cements the records and vindicates the choices of many of the Miami Heat players, coaches, and executives. It puts LeBron more firmly on the podium as one of the greatest players of all time and it makes the Heat’s GM Pat Riley and coach Erik Spoelstra look brilliant for embracing his unique talents and building a team around them.
  • Lovable losers — in a way that the Spurs completely failed to do in any of their previous four championships or many playoff runs, this Spurs team in what was probably their last trip to the finals with this group of players was completely admired and appreciated and loved by NBA fans.
  • Big How Many? The storyline of the Miami Heat since 2010 has been about the union of three great stars: LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh. James had a great game; Wade did his valiant best but was clearly injured as he has been for large parts of the last two years; and Bosh was absolutely wretched. Because looking forward is always interesting, people will be talking about the future make-up of the Heat — will LeBron stay past next year (he’ll be a free-agent) and if he does who will his supporting cast be?
  • Rising star Kawhi Leonard? One of the youngest players on the court in a series of aging stars, Kawhi Leonard played a great game with 16 rebounds and 19 points and a handful of great defensive plays. Could he be the future for the Spurs?

What’s Next: It’s over! No more NBA basketball until the fall.

Cue Cards 6-20-13

stk321064rknCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Sport: Hockey
Teams: Chicago Blackhawks vs. Boston Bruins
When: Wednesday night, 6-19-13
Context: Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The Boston Bruins were leading the seven game series 2-1.
Result: Blackhawks win 6-5
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • Overtime. Oh my gosh so much overtime. Three of the four games in this series have gone to overtime
  • The high score! There had been 12 goals total in the three previous games. This game had 11 goals. Despite the Bruins losing, of the two goalies, Corey Crawford of the Blackhawks is the more concerning goalie. All five of the goals scored against him got past his glove hand. This is suggestive of a weakness the Bruins can continue to exploit.
  • How much confidence does this give the Blackhawks? Everything that had been going wrong for them in the series turned around in this game. Both their star players, Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews scored goals and they even got their first power play goal of the series (they hadn’t scored in nine attempts against the Bruins before this game)

What’s Next: Game 5 is Saturday night at 8 p.m.

Cue Cards 6-19-13

stk321064rknCue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Sport: Basketball
Teams: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs
When: Tuesday night, 6-18-13
Context: Game 6 of the NBA Championships. The San Antonio Spurs were leading the seven game series 3-2.
Result: Heat win 103-100
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • Everything went right for the Spurs and they still lost. It was almost as if the Heat were playing one big unintentional rope-a-dope strategy. They took every punch the Spurs had for three quarters and came back roaring in the fourth. Will the older Spurs have anything left for game Seven? The overwhelming feeling will be that the Heat will win game seven at home to win the series on Thursday.
  • The refs. In the first three quarters when the Spurs were playing better, the refs were calling more fouls against the Heat. Then in the fourth quarter it switched around. Of course normally the team that is playing worse commits more fouls so that pattern is generally what you’d expect. Nonetheless people will find a way to be mysteriously indignant about this.
  • LeBron James was great in the fourth quarter and overtime. As the most physically talented player out there, the expectations for LeBron are enormous and he met them. This will be celebrated.

What’s Next: Game 7 is Thursday night at 9 p.m.

— — —

Sport: Soccer
Teams: United States vs. Honduras
When: Tuesday night, 6-18-13
Context: A 2014 World Cup Qualifying game.
Result: The United States wins 1-0.
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • Coach Jurgen Klinsmann. For some reason he seems to get all the credit for wins and blame for losses.
  • Jozy Altidore a US Striker (dude who is supposed to score goals) has now done just that in four straight games which is pretty impressive.
  • This win makes it almost definite that the United States will qualify for the 2014 World Cup. A few weeks ago that was absolutely not a sure thing.

What’s Next: The United States doesn’t have another qualifying match until September but play in the Gold Cup on Tuesday, July 9.

Cue Cards 6-18-13

stk321064rkn

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Sport: Hockey
Teams: Chicago Blackhawks vs. Boston Bruins
When: Monday night, 6-17-13
Context: Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The seven game series was tied 1-1.
Result: The Boston Bruins win 2-0.
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • The Boston Bruins goalie, Tuukka Rask, who hasn’t let in a goal since the first period of game 2.
  • Blackhawks player Marian Hossa who injured himself in the warm-ups and missed the game. Given what injuries players regularly play through, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him miss the rest of the series.
  • The series got a little rough in the third period once it was clear the Blackhawks were going to lose. How will that effect the next game?
  • Is a Bruins victory inevitable? It’s starting to feel that way after two straight victories, particularly because the Bruins have now won seven of the last eight games. Can the Blackhawks raise their game to match the level of their opponents?

What’s Next: Game 4 is Wednesday night at 8 p.m.

Cue Cards 6-17-13

stk321064rkn

Cue Cards is a series designed to assist with the common small talk about high-profile recent sporting events that is so omnipresent in the workplace, the bar, and other social settings.

Sport: Hockey
Teams: Chicago Blackhawks vs. Boston Bruins
When: Saturday night, 6-15-13
Context: Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Chicago won game 1 in triple over-time and had the 1-0 series lead.
Result: The Boston Bruins win 2-1 in overtime.
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • The Boston Bruins goalie, Tuukka Rask, played superbly in the first period to keep the Bruins in the game.
  • This was the second game in a seven game series and both games have gone to overtime. In two games the teams have played the equivalent of three games because of all the overtime needed.
  • In a seven game series, the team with the better regular season record gets four of the seven games at home. Chicago was at home for the first two games and with the series tied at 1-1, the Bruins now have three of the remaining five games at home. They have captured the home ice advantage.

What’s Next: Game 3 is Monday night at 8 p.m.

— — —

Sport: Basketball
Teams: Miami Heat vs. San Antonio Spurs
When: Sunday night, 6-16-13
Context: Game 5 of the NBA Championships. The seven game series is tied at two games apiece.
Result: Spurs win 114-104
Sports Fans will be Talking About:

  • What’s wrong with the Miami Heat. The Heat were favorites because of their “big three” star players Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, and Chris Bosh. Now they are one more loss away from losing the championship.
  • Alternating blow-outs. After a close game one, the teams have traded off winning games by at least ten points.
  • Spur Danny Green who was a highly regarded player in college but before this season a complete flop as a professional has been playing incredibly well. He had 24 points in the game and now has the record for most three-pointers made in the NBA finals in history.
  • Continuity (the Spurs best players and coach have been playing together for more than a decade) and coaching have the Spurs one victory away from winning the championship.

What’s Next: Game 6 is Tuesday night at 9 p.m.

— — —

Sport: Golf
Tournament: U.S. Open
When: Thursday-Sunday,June 13-16
Context: Second of four major golf championships of the year – the four most high profile, prestigious tournaments in golf
Result: England’s Justin Rose won with a score of 1 over par – kind of like being valedictorian with a GPA of 2.5
Sports Fans will be Talking About:
  • The course won. It’s rare when you gather the best players in golf and none of them break par cumulatively over four rounds – but that’s what happened at this and last year’s U.S. Open. Both Opens were won by a player who shot one stroke over par, a pretty mediocre score for professional golfers and an indication of the traditional difficulty of the U.S. Open courses.
  • Tiger comes up short in another major. Tiger Woods is the best golfer of his generation but to be the best golfer of all time he has to break Jack Nicklaus’s record of 18 majors won – he’s currently 4 behind and hasn’t won one since he was caught setting the record for most females slept with by a golfer in the history of one of the world’s most ancient sports.
  • Lefty comes up short again. Phil Mickelson (aka Lefty cause…uh…he’s left-handed) is perhaps the second most well-known American golfer active today. Unlike Tiger he’s best known for his tragic shortcomings in big tournaments, which include 5 previous runner-up finishes at the U.S. Open, several of which occurred in heartbreaking fashion. True to form he started the day leading the tournament but wasn’t able to close and lost by 2 strokes.
What’s Next: The next major golf tournament is the Open Championships, which are played in the UK – this year it will be hosted at Muirfield, in Scotland, July 18-21.

Why Does Vladimir Putin Have a Super Bowl Ring?

From the how-weird-can-it-get files, this story is about whether or not the Russian politician Vladimir Putin stole an NFL Championship ring from the owner of the New England Patriots, Robert Kraft.

The story begins in the summer of 2005 when Robert Kraft went on a trip to Russia. The New England Patriots, then (as now) one of the best teams in the National Football League, had just won their third Super Bowl in four years. Vladimir Putin’s record was almost as good as Kraft’s. Elected in 2000 after his predecessor Boris Yeltsin resigned unexpectedly, Putin had just been reelected in 2004 with 71% of the vote. At the end of a day of meetings between Putin, Kraft, and other American businessmen, something happened and Putin ended up with Kraft’s Super Bowl ring.

What’s in a ring? Most team sports leagues, including the NFL, give out a trophy to the championship team. There is also a tradition that the winning organization rewards its own players and coaches with gaudy championship rings as a celebration of the winning season. These rings have become a sort of jockish short-hand representing the championships themselves. One common factor in arguments about how to rate a player is “how many rings does he or she have?” Athletes use the word like this too, as in the famous rejoinder, ““I can’t hear what Jeremy says, because I’ve got my two Stanley Cup rings plugging my ears” by hockey goalie Patrick Roy when taunted by Jeremy Roenick, a good player but one who had never won championships like Roy had.

The exact series of events that led to Putin possessing Kraft’s ring was never completely clear, even in 2005. In the Boston Globe article Donovan Slack wrote that it could be “an international incident of sorts, a misunderstanding of Super Bowl proportions. Or it could be a very, very generous gift.” Despite Kraft’s statement a few days later that he, “decided to give him the ring as a symbol of the respect and admiration that I have for the Russian people and the leadership of President Putin.” there was always a certain mystery around the incident.

In a wonderful profile of Kraft’s wife Myra in 2007, the New York Times reported her version of the story which involved an off-color remark by Putin that he could “kill someone” with the ring before more or less walking off with it, to her husband’s dismay. The story of the ring being a gift was a cover-up to avoid an international incident, she said.

The story resurfaced this week when Robert Kraft finally confirmed his now deceased wife’s version of the story, even adding some henchmen into the mix: “I put my hand out and he put it in his pocket, and three KGB guys got around him and walked out.”

Just to make things even more scandalous, Putin responded to the story today through spokesperson and witness Dmitry Peskov, who said that “what Mr. Kraft is saying now is weird.” As reported by CNN, the metric system-obsessed spokesman remembered that he “was standing 20 centimeters away from him and Mr. Putin and saw and heard how Mr. Kraft gave this ring as a gift.”

What will happen next? Who knows! But it’s truly a great world that creates the headline “Putin denies stealing Kraft’s Super Bowl ring” and puts it on the front page of ESPN.

Why are Sports Teams Changing Names?

Dear Sports Fan,

I read an article the other day that said the Charlotte Bobcats was changing their name to the Charlotte Hornets. What’s up with that? Why are they changing their name?

Thanks,
Tommy


Dear Tommy,

It’s true, the Charlotte area professional basketball team is changing their name from the Bobcats to the Hornets. They are doing this in part because the name, which has a history in the Charlotte area dating back to the Revolutionary War, has recently become available, but it’s also because they haven’t built a very reputable brand for themselves as the Bobcats.

In 1985 the National Basketball Association decided to add four new teams to its league. Charlotte eventually became the home to one of those four teams and in the fall of 1988 the team started its first season as the Hornets. They played there for fourteen years until 2002 when following what sounds like some really ugly politics between the city of Charlotte and the unsavory owner of the Hornets, the team moved to New Orleans. In one of the great “it’s not you, it’s me… or in this case your horrible owner,” the NBA immediately said that they would locate one of their next expansion teams in Charlotte. This team started in 2004 and became the Charlotte Bobcats. The original team kept its name and its colors when it moved to New Orleans and has played as the New Orleans Hornets for the last five years. This year, the team officially announced that they were going to change their name to the New Orleans Pelicans! (Pelicans have become a symbol of the city since the oil spill in 2010.) This change, of course, meant that the Hornets name was available again and after weeks of rumor, the Charlotte team officially petitioned the league for the name back.

Both of the teams have not won very much in their recent history. The Bobcats (soon to be the Hornets again) have only ever had one season when they won more games than they lost. This was also the one year that they made the playoffs but they did not win a single playoff game. Ouch. The Pelicans (recently the Hornets) have done a little better since moving to New Orleans than their replacement in Charlotte but not by much. They have made the playoffs five times and even won a playoff series once, in 2007-2008. In the past two years though they have won fewer than 30 games out of 82 each season. Both teams are looking to re-brand their team and what better way to do it than with a new name and colors? In Charlotte, the team will be trying to “galvanize our fan base by unifying our loyal Bobcats fans with those who have strong memories of our city’s NBA predecessor.” In New Orleans, the team is “excited to start a new era in Louisiana basketball history.”

One wonders what would happen if all the NBA teams that have moved had done this. Maybe the team in New Orleans would be happy with its old name, the Jazz that now belongs to the team in Utah. The LA Lakers would have to send their name back to Minnesota (the land of ten thousand lakes) who I’m guessing would be happy to shed the name Timberwolves. Philadelphia would be able to choose between their current name, the 76ers or their original name, the Warriors, now used by the team in “Golden State” or Northern California. Memphis would probably be happy to stop confusing people by having a team called the Grizzlies which was originally located in Vancouver.

So where does that leave us? If you ask some animal experts, like this New Orleans radio station did, everything is okay — both animals are well equipped to inspire basketball teams:

Atherton pointed out the pelican’s ability to ward off enemies and intimidate rivals with its sharp beak tooth and aggressive wing flapping. Lemann made a case for the hornet as an excellent mascot, for its fierce, stinging defensive reputation.

Thanks for the question,
Ezra Fischer

Super Bowl Prep Talk, Part Three: A Beginner's Guide to Football Betting

In this series, Dear Sports Fan will try to prepare non-sports fans and sports fans alike to converse knowledgeably during this Sunday’s Super Bowl parties. Super Bowl Sunday is probably the day when the most non-sports fans gather in front of televisions and mingle with their sport loving friends and family. In Part One-A and One-B of this series, we covered some of the key story-lines and plot points around the game. We also had a special post on Super Bowl party behavior written by one non-fan for others. This post will cover a few of the most common ways people gamble on the Super Bowl.


As Lisa wrote in her post on Super Bowl party behavior, Super Bowl Sunday is the day when the most people who don’t normally watch football watch a football game. Likewise it is a day when many, many people who don’t normally gamble on football have at least a few dollars riding on the game. Even if you don’t choose to gamble today, many of your friends and family will. There is likely to be almost 100 million dollars bet on the game legally in Vegas, and that’s just if you want to be legal about it. Here’s a quick explanation of the four most common types of bets that they’ll be making.

Betting the Line

This is the most common form of football betting. You’ve probably heard someone say that a football team is “favored by three points” or is a “ten point underdog.” This is where those phrases and figures come from. A sports book in Vegas will “set a line” for a game and then bettors will gamble on either side of that line. The easiest way to think of a line is to remember that for an actual sports game, the line is ALWAYS at zero. Whichever team wins by even as little as one point wins the game. In the world of the bet, that’s not the case. The betting line is adjusted in favor of one team or the other so that in order to win the bet, you need a team to win by more than a certain number of points. We’ll get to why the line is set where it is in a few paragraphs.

In today’s game, San Fransisco is favored by four points (somewhat confusingly expressed as “San Fransisco -4.”) This means that people who bet on San Fransisco need them to win by more than four points to win (also called “cover”) their bet. People who bet on Baltimore can cover even if Baltimore loses by up to three points. Knowing this may help you make sense of why people will sometimes seem incredibly engaged in the game at odd times.

Betting the Over/Under

This is a very common form of football line betting. When someone bets the over/under they are making a prediction about what the combined scores of the two teams will be. Basically, you need to predict whether the game will be high or low scoring. The over/under for today’s game is 48 points. If you bet on the over, you’re predicting that the combined score of the two teams will add up to more than 48; the under, less.

A quick note on lines (because the over/under is another form of line betting) and the logic of how they are set. The underlying principle of any type of gambling, is that the “house” (the entity that people bet against,) because they take a small fee on every transaction will always make money if they can balance the amount bet on both sides of a line (half on the under, half on the over; half on San Fransisco -4, half on Baltimore +4.) The house effectively pays the winners of a bet with the money they get from the losers. The only time the house can lose is if they take more winning bets than losing bets.

As you might expect, Vegas is freakishly good at balancing the bets. So, you would think that the combined score of the game is most likely to be what the line says it is, 48, but there are two things that qualify this. First — some bets are more “fun” than others — the public tends to enjoy betting an over more than an under, so the over/under will often be a little bit higher than Vegas thinks the combined scores will be. Second, well, the people who set the lines have chosen to work in Vegas. Sometimes they like to gamble a bit too.

Buying a Super Bowl Box

The Super Bowl Box is the most casual form of Super Bowl betting. You’ve probably taken part in one yourself! You make a ten by ten grid, put your name in a box, and pay someone a few bucks. After all hundred boxes are filled out someone randomly assigns a number from 0 to 9 to each row and column on the chart. Each box therefore represents a pair of one digit numbers like 4 and 7. These numbers correspond to the ones digit of the score of the teams at particular moments of the game — usually at the end of each quarter. If your numbers come up, say San Fransisco 14, Baltimore 7 (or 27) at halftime, you win a bunch of money.

This is gambling at it’s most pure. Unlike the previous two forms of betting, you don’t get to make any decisions at all. When you scribble your name on a box and put in your money, you are spending 1/100 of all the money involved for a 1/100 chance to win. As soon as they assign numbers to boxes, your chances have either gone up or down as you can see from this awesome “sucky box-o-meter.”

Making a Prop Bet

Prop bets are another form of betting that thrives during the Super Bowl. Prop is short for proposition (as you probably know from The Wire) and these bets are all about answering questions that ask “will something happen today?” These are incredibly fun to bet on, and as you might imagine because of that, are usually difficult to win. Most of these are about the game, but a good number of them are about the spectacle surrounding the game. There are two good articles on Grantland.com about this, one by a football analyst and one by a gambling comedy writer. Here are just a few of the bets they cover:

Will there be overtime?
Will the largest lead of the game be more or less than 14 points?
Will Vonta Leach (a guy on the Ravens who almost never gets to touch the ball) score the first touchdown?
Will the opening coin toss be heads?
Will Alicia Keys’ rendition of the national anthem be longer than 2:15?

That last one is ridiculous but I’d be willing to bet that someone at your Super Bowl party has their eyes on their watch while she’s singing. Look around and let me know.

Enjoy the party and the game,
Ezra Fischer

 

How Not to Behave at a Super Bowl Party: From One Non-Fan to Another

If you are anything like me, the only thing worse than the football season is the one night a year when everyone gets together to celebrate the football season: Super Bowl Sunday.  And while I try to avoid it every year, I somehow always manage to get sucked into attending a party.  Attending a party in which you have zero interest in the main event can be rather tricky. To help you on your path to being the perfect Super Bowl party guest, I have compiled a list of behaviors to avoid at your party this year.


 

DON’T stand around repeatedly announcing to any and everyone how much you hate football. There are so many great reasons to hate football. It is needlessly violent and leads to serious life injuries for the players. They only play for about seven seconds before stopping for five minutes. One minute of football time is the equivalent of fifteen minutes of real life time. I could go on, but I won’t. As you can see, it gets pretty annoying pretty quickly.

DON’T stand (or sit) in the room with the TV and talk loudly through the whole entire game. Believe it or not, some people actually want to watch the football game. More than that, some people actually want to hear the inane announcers talk about the football game. If you are not one of them, there are so many better places for you to be than in the room with the TV. There is a perfectly good table full of food and booze somewhere else where you will find like-minded people which whom you can pass the evening discussing hockey.

DON’T ask 1,000 annoying questions to the person in the room who is the most interested in watching the game. Maybe you’ve decided that this year you are going to try to pay attention to the game, only to realize that you have absolutely no idea what is going on. It is ok to ask questions now and then, and there will definitely be people excited to familiarize you with their favorite sport. Just be conscientious about how many questions you ask and who you ask them to. There are people who are going to want to watch the game more than they want to educate you on what is going on.

DON’T loudly root for the team that no one else is rooting for, while maintaining that football is dumb. People take football very seriously. Drunk people take football even more seriously. Try not to piss off a bunch of drunk football fans, unless your date for the party happens to be large enough to defend your honor. If this is the case, by all means, instigate. Fights are the best part of sports.

DON’T end the evening with a loud exasperated sigh of “Thank Goodness Football is over!” When the game ends, try to keep your glee to a minimum, especially if the home team (i.e. the team that everyone at the party is rooting for) just lost. No one will appreciate your joy in the midst of their mourning.

DON’T show up empty handed. For all of my bad behavior at Super Bowl parties, even I know better than to show up at someone’s house empty handed. Super Bowl parties are as much about the food and beverages as anything else. If they weren’t, why would any of us non-fans even bother to show up? If you are going to be a football-naysayer, then make up for it by bringing a really amazing dish or a whole lot of beer. People will forgive just about anything given the right culinary incentive. But show up with nothing, consume all of the food and drinks, and complain through the whole game, and I promise you won’t be invited next year.

So now you know all the ways not to behave at a Super Bowl party. If you are interested in knowing how you should behave instead, well, you’ll have to ask someone else. I fully intend to break all of my own rules and maybe even discover some new ones come Sunday night.

So who’s having the party??
Lisa Filipek