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Week 17 NFL One Liners

On Mondays during in the fall, the conversation is so dominated by NFL football that the expression “Monday morning quarterback” has entered the vernacular. The phrase is defined by Google as “a person who passes judgment on and criticizes something after the event.” With the popularity of fantasy football, we now have Monday morning quarterbacks talking about football from two different perspectives. We want you to be able to participate in this great tradition, so all fall we’ll be running NFL One Liners on Monday. Use these tiny synopses throughout the day:

Week 17

Sunday, December 28, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Buffalo Bills 17, at New England Patriots 9

Winning football games is hard and tiring and bruising. The Patriots had no need to win this game because no combination of results this weekend could have kept them from being the top team in the AFC and guaranteed to host all of the games they play in the playoffs until the Super Bowl.
Line: The Patriots didn’t need it, so they didn’t win it.

Cleveland Browns 10, at Baltimore Ravens 20

The Ravens needed to win this game and have a couple other things happen in the early games to make the playoffs. While they were winning the game, the other couple things happened. They’re in!
Line: The Ravens needed some help to get into the playoffs but what they could control (beating the Browns,) they did control.

Chicago Bears 9, at Minnesota Vikings 13

What a lost season from the Chicago Bears. They were expected to make the playoffs and instead, they only won five games. The Vikings can feel moderately good about themselves. They won seven games this year while mostly playing a rookie quarterback.
Line: There’s be hope today in Minnesota but the same can’t be said for Chicago.

Dallas Cowboys 44, at Washington Redskins 17

The Cowboys wanted to win this game in order to better their playoff seed. Still, you get the feeling that even if they hadn’t wanted to win, they might have won anyway. That’s how deeply depressing this season was for Washington.
Line: Hey, if you’re feeling sad about the end of the NFL regular season, just think — at least it means no more watching the Redskins!

Jacksonville Jaguars 17, at Houston Texans 23

The Texans are this year’s hard-luck team. They’re going to just miss out on the playoffs, but you have to wonder what would have been if they hadn’t been forced to go down to their third quarterback… when their first two weren’t that good to start out with!
Line: I feel bad for the Texans — I wish they could have snuck into the playoffs.

Indianapolis Colts 27, at Tennessee Titans 10

The Colts didn’t really have any reason to win this game, but after losing so badly last week, this must have felt somewhat cathartic. The Titans wanted to lose to try to get the first pick in next year’s draft, but unfortunately for them, Tampa Bay lost also to clinch that first pick for themselves.
Line: Meaningless victory for the Colts.

San Diego Chargers 7, at Kansas City Chiefs 19

By beating the San Diego Chargers, the Kansas City Chiefs knocked them out of the playoffs. Too bad for the Chiefs that the Ravens were simultaneously knocking them out of the playoffs.
Line: Talk about bitter-sweet victories. No one watching this game ended up happy.

New York Jets 37, at Miami Dolphins 24

Playing the day after reports surfaced that Jets head coach Rex Ryan had already cleaned his office out in the expectation of being fired, the Jets finally looked good on offense.
Line: Ha! Maybe Rex Ryan was so busy cleaning out his office that he didn’t have time to ruin the offensive game plan.

New Orleans Saints 23, at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 20

The Saints counter-intuitively helped a division rival by beating the Buccaneers today and therefore ensuring that they will pick first in next year’s NFL draft. The draft is no sure thing, but the Buccaneers fans are happier today than the Saints fans.
Line: It’s a hard call — do you try to lose to keep a rival from getting the first pick?

Philadelphia Eagles 34, at New York Giants 26

The season ends for these teams the way it’s been all along. The Eagles are marginally better than the Giants, but neither are good enough to compete with the best in the NFL.
Line: The tri-state area gets shut out from the playoffs.

SUNDAY, December 28, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Carolina Panthers 34, at Atlanta Falcons 3

Well, that wasn’t close. The Panthers beat the Falcons to win the NFC South and clinch a playoff spot. Despite having a losing record, the Panthers look like a dangerous team. They’ve won their last four games and because they are a division winner, they’ll get to host their first playoff game.
Line: Wouldn’t it just be so typical of the NFL if the Panthers made a run in this year’s playoffs?

Oakland Raiders 14, at Denver Broncos 47

The Broncos left nothing up to chance when it came to making sure they got a bye week.
Line: Peyton Manning wanted to rest up. Or maybe just film some more commercials!

Detroit Lions 20, at Green Bay Packers 30

Aaron Rodgers gave the Packers fans a scare when he went down (while throwing a touch down, mind you,) grabbing his calf. He’ll have an extra week to rest and recuperate thanks to this victory over the Lions which clinched a first round bye in the playoffs.
Line: Aaron Rodgers is remarkable.

Arizona Cardinals 17, at San Francisco 49ers 20

The Cardinals are struggling mightily and valiantly to win games with their third quarterback starting. It’s not working.
Line: I know they’ll probably lose, but I can’t help but root for the Cardinals in the playoffs.

St. Louis Rams 6, at Seattle Seahawks 20

The Seahawks clinched the number one seed in their conference, and (like the Patriots in theirs) home field throughout the playoffs.
Line: The poor Rams — so decent and so trapped in a division with way better than decent teams.

SUNDAY, December 21, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Cincinnati Bengals 17, at Pittsburgh Steelers 27

By winning this game, the Steelers won their division and will now host the Baltimore Ravens in the first round of the playoffs. By losing, the Bengals need to travel to Indianapolis in the first round. It’s not clear to me that there’s that much of a competitive advantage to hosting Baltimore over traveling to Indianapolis. It’s certainly not worth losing your best offensive player for, which is exactly what happened to both teams. Steelers running back, Le’veon Bell left the game with a knee injury and Bengals wide receiver, A.J. Green, left with a possible concussion.
Line: In this case, I don’t think the playoff seeding was worth the collateral damage.

NFL Week 17 Good Cop, Bad Cop Precaps

The NFL season has started but how do you know which games to watch and which to skip? Ask our favorite police duo with their good cop, bad cop precaps of all the matchups in the National Football League this weekend. To see which games will be televised in your area, check out 506sports.com’s essential NFL maps.

Week 17

Sunday, December 28, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Buffalo Bills at New England Patriots

Good cop: The Bills can almost make up for their terrible loss last week that kicked them out of playoff contention by finishing the season with a win in New England!

Bad cop: The Patriots have already clinched home-field advantage throughout the entire playoffs. They don’t need to win this game at all. Knowing Bill Bellichick, they might just spend the game practicing some very avante-garde offensive strategy, just in case.

Cleveland Browns at Baltimore Ravens

Good cop: The Ravens will make the playoffs if they win this game and San Diego loses to Kansas City!

Bad cop: The Browns will make the playoffs when California falls into the ocean.

Chicago Bears at Minnesota Vikings

Good cop: Of all the meaningless (to playoff qualification or seeding) Week 17 games, this could be the best! It’s two rival teams that are going in opposite directions!

Bad cop: Yes… Minnesota is struggling to climb out of the dumpster while Chicago is hanging out in the landfill…

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins

Good cop: Washington eliminated one divisional rival, the Philadelphia Eagles, last week! This week they have a chance to keep a first round playoff bye away from another divisional rival, the Dallas Cowboys, if they can win this game!

Bad cop: If there’s anything Washington D.C. is good at, it’s ruining the hopes of people throughout the country. Ha.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans

Good cop: The Texans are the longest of long shots to make the playoffs — they have to win and they need the Ravens and Chargers to lose! But they also have the easiest opponent this week! The Jaguars are not good and that’s good for the Houston Texans!

Bad cop: I love how you just managed to say a team was bad, something you’re normally loath to admit, but you still found a way to make that a good thing. The Jaguars are bad and the Texans are not really that much better. They don’t deserve a playoff spot and they won’t get one.

Indianapolis Colts at Tennessee Titans

Good cop: I’m fascinated by this game! Who better for the struggling, yet playoff bound Colts to play than the 2-13 Titans?

Bad cop: Beating a team whose incentives are all lined up for losing won’t prove anything positive about the Colts.

San Diego Chargers at Kansas City Chiefs

Good cop: This is virtually a playoff game! Both teams need to win this game to make the playoffs! The Chargers could get in even if they lose, but if the Chiefs lose, they are out!

Bad cop: Too bad that Chiefs starting quarterback, Alex Smith, is out with a lacerated spleen. It takes a little of the drama away from this game.

New York Jets at Miami Dolphins

Good cop: The Jets have been an entertaining mess for years under head-coach Rex Ryan! This might be the last game of an era!

Bad cop: An era defined by dysfunction and mediocrity? Oh, I can’t wait to watch one last game in THAT era.

New Orleans Saints at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Good cop: These two teams have had disappointing seasons but they’ll look to close the year out with a win!

Bad cop: Your lack of cynicism drives me crazy. You think the Buccaneers don’t know they might get the first pick of next year’s draft if they lose? They know.

Philadelphia Eagles at New York Giants

Good cop: Grudge match!

Bad cop: Consolation match.

SUNDAY, December 28, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Carolina Panthers at Atlanta Falcons

Good cop: This game is for all the marbles in the NFC South! Win and you make the playoffs! Lose and you go home!

Bad cop: Dramatic and ultimately futile. Winning a division and making the playoffs with a losing record is a damn shame.

Oakland Raiders at Denver Broncos

Good cop: This may seem like a meaningless game, but it’s not! The Broncos can clinch a bye week with a win and there’s no player who would appreciate a week off more than 38 year-old Peyton Manning!

Bad cop: And no team easier to beat than the Oakland Raiders.

Detroit Lions at Green Bay Packers

Good cop: Both teams have clinched a playoff spot but now they play each other for the NFC North division title and playoff positioning!

Bad cop: It’s hard, even for me, to find something bad to say about this game. It’ll probably stink.

Arizona Cardinals at San Francisco 49ers

Good cop: Down to their third quarterback, the Cardinals are the most compelling playoff team! I can’t wait to see if they can overcome their quarterback play to make a deep run this year!

Bad cop: I can save you the suspense. They won’t.

St. Louis Rams at Seattle Seahawks

Good cop: It’s such a shame that the Rams are stuck in a division with the Seahawks, Cardinals, and (not this year but for the last few years) the 49ers! Otherwise, they’d probably be a playoff team! They’re not bad!

Bad cop: “They’re not bad.” Heck of a rallying cry.

SUNDAY, December 21, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Cincinnati Bengals at Pittsburgh Steelers

Good cop: The AFC North division, with the Bengals, Steelers, Ravens, and Browns, has been the best division from 1-4 all season! This game will finally decide who the winner is!

Bad cop: Yeah, yeah. It doesn’t really matter though. Both teams are in the playoffs for sure and neither one are likely to get a first round bye.

Week 16 NFL One Liners

Week 16

Saturday, December 20, at 4:30 p.m. ET

Philadelphia Eagles 24, at Washington Redskins 27

All the Eagles had to do to keep themselves in the playoff hunt and put the pressure on their rivals, the Dallas Cowboys, was beat the dysfunctional 3-11 Washington Redskins. Could they? No.
Line: Heartbreak in Philadelphia; confusion in Washington D.C.

Saturday, December 20, at 8:30 p.m. ET

San Diego Chargers 38, at San Francisco 49ers 35

Down 28-7 at halftime, the San Diego Chargers came all the way back in the second half to force overtime and eventually win the game. This win knocked San Francisco officially out of the playoffs and launched the Chargers into a wildcard spot.
Line: That Saturday night game was exciting and important!

Sunday, December 21, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Baltimore Ravens 13, at Houston Texans 25

Ravens fans had to feel like they had won the lottery before this game because they knew their defense would be facing the seemingly exploitable Texans quarterback, Case Keenum, who was winless in eight starts last year. Now they’ve got to be stunned and disappointed after their team was the one that got exploited.
Line: Case was on the case. (Or some other horrible “case” pun.)

Cleveland Browns 13, at Carolina Panthers 17

Playing quarterback in the NFL is a tough job, even for tough people. Browns quarterback, Johnny Manziel, found that out the hard way after he was knocked out of the game early on with a hamstring injury. Panthers quarterback, Cam Newton, already knows the deal — he played two weeks after suffering broken bones in his back during a car accident.
Line: The Panthers are somehow favored to make the playoffs despite a record of six wins, eight losses, and one tie.

Detroit Lions 30, at Chicago Bears 14

Sometimes a team that has absolutely no hope is the dangerous kind of team to play against. That team in this game was the Chicago Bears who benched their franchise quarterback, Jay Cutler, and played better than they have in weeks but not quite well enough to beat the Lions.
Line: The Bears made Jay Cutler look like he was part of the problem by playing well in this game.

Green Bay Packers 20, at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 3

The story of this game was the several fans who were hospitalized after the game because they had been struck by lightening!
Line: Getting hit by lightening is incredibly unlikely, but not as unlikely as it would have been for Tampa Bay to beat the Packers.

Kansas City Chiefs 12, at Pittsburgh Steelers 20

The Steelers guaranteed themselves a playoff spot with this win and the Chiefs guaranteed themselves another week of angst before almost definitely missing out on the playoffs themselves.
Line: The Steelers are quietly becoming a popular team to talk about as having a shot to make it to the Super Bowl.

Minnesota Vikings 35, at Miami Dolphins 37

The future seems bright for both these teams after a back and forth offensive game ended with the Dolphins ahead but only barely on the scoreboard.
Line: If I were a Vikings or a Dolphins fan, I think I’d be reasonably happy with my team this year.

New England Patriots 17, at New York Jets 16

I wouldn’t put it past Patriots coach, Bill Bellichick, to have instructed his team to troll their rivals, the Jets, by making them think they had a chance to win, only to steal it away from them. That said, I think the Jets just get excited to play the Patriots and play much better against them than any other team.
Line: What, you didn’t think the Patriots were actually going to lose to the Jets, did you?

Atlanta Falcons 30, at New Orleans Saints 14

The Falcons’ victory over the Saints eliminates the Saints from playoff contention, gives the Falcons a chance to make the playoffs if they win their next game, and guarantees that the winner of their division will have a losing record.
Line: What a travesty. Also… it’s pretty exciting!

SUNDAY, December 14, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

New York Giants 37, at St. Louis Rams 27

Odell Beckham Jr., a wide receiver on the Giants, is having one of the best debut seasons of anyone, football player or not, in recent memory. He also absolutely crushed my friend Alex in our fantasy football league’s championship game.
Line: Odell Beckham Jr. is the truth.

Buffalo Bills 24, at Oakland Raiders 26

Don’t cry for me, Buffalo. I don’t actually know what that reference means, but it seems like it would be either appropriate or ironic for fans of the Buffalo Bills. The Bills were expected to beat the Raiders, who are among the worst five teams in the league, to stay in the playoff hunt, but they couldn’t get it done.
Line: Oh Buffalo, so sad!

Indianapolis Colts 7, at Dallas Cowboys 42

Sometimes the story of a game can be predicted, almost before the game, from the relative need of each team to win. The Cowboys needed to win to guarantee their spot in the playoffs. The Colts couldn’t change their playoff positioning with a win at all. Q.E.D., the Cowboys won.
Line: It’s hard to win a game if you don’t need to.

SUNDAY, December 21, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Seattle Seahawks 35, at Arizona Cardinals 6

The Cardinals proved that, no matter how valiantly you try, you can’t beat a good team without even a half-decent quarterback. It’s lucky for the Cardinals that they’ve already clinched a playoff spot and hopefully their second string quarterback will be healthy by then. Meanwhile, the Seahawks look unbeatable, just like last year.
Line: This game showed why there were rumors last week about Kurt Warner coming out of his five years of retirement to play quarterback for the Cardinals.

NFL Week 16 Good Cop, Bad Cop Precaps

Week 16

Saturday, December 20, at 4:30 p.m. ET

Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins

Good cop: NFL football on Saturday! How could it get any better than that!??

Bad cop: How? If it was up to me, I’d start by banishing the terrible, no-fun to watch Redskins.

Saturday, December 20, at 8:30 p.m. ET

San Diego Chargers at San Francisco 49ers

Good cop: The Chargers have to win this game to stay in the playoff hunt! Phillip Rivers is going to come out firing!

Bad cop: When is Phillip Rivers not firing? He’s a quarterback, he throws the ball a lot. These teams have combined to win one out of their last six games. Not exactly what I want to do with my Saturday night.

Sunday, December 21, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Baltimore Ravens at Houston Texans

Good cop: I know I sound like a broken record, but this game is basically a playoff game! Both teams need to win to give themselves a chance at the playoffs!

Bad cop: No… it may be as single elimination as a playoff game but part of what makes playoff games fun is that they involve playoff teams. You know, like good teams… unlike this game.

Cleveland Browns at Carolina Panthers

Good cop: Will Cam Newton return two weeks after a serious car accident to help his Panthers drive to the playoffs?

Bad cop: I’m assuming that pun was unintended. Yes, Newton will play, no, even winning won’t give his team more than a fig-ment of a chance. Hahahaha.

Detroit Lions at Chicago Bears

Good cop: This game always makes me want to say, “oh my!” Never more than this week with the Lions in a tight race for the division lead with the Green Bay Packers!

Bad cop: Have you heard that the Bears are benching their quarterback, Jay Cutler, for this game? That’s the worst last ditch attempt I’ve ever seen of a coach to keep his job. Not going to work.

Green Bay Packers at Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Good cop: I! Uh! This! Um! Well, the Packers need to win this game! It’s important to them!

Bad cop: Oh, they’ll win the game. We just shouldn’t be forced to watch it.

Kansas City Chiefs at Pittsburgh Steelers

Good cop: This is another one of those games that’s basically a playoff game! And this one, even you can’t argue against this, has two really exciting, competitive football teams!

Bad cop: They can be exciting and competitive or they can just fold like a tent. These teams are in the position they’re in because they’ve lost to Buccaneers, Browns, Jets, Titans, and Raiders. They don’t deserve to make the playoffs.

Minnesota Vikings at Miami Dolphins

Good cop: This game is all about the future! Both teams are led by young quarterbacks and are using this season as a launch pad for serious playoff runs next year!

Bad cop: It’s about the future? In that case, where is my jet pack?

New England Patriots at New York Jets

Good cop: Smart move by the NFL schedulers to put a fierce divisional rivalry like this at the end of the season! Even though the game doesn’t mean anything for making the playoffs, the Jets vs. Patriots games are always good!

Bad cop: In this case though, the Jets have an incentive to lose to get back into the hunt for the first overall draft pick next year. They should lose anyway but this consideration makes it so they really should lose.

Atlanta Falcons at New Orleans Saints

Good cop: Matt Ryan leads his high-flying Falcons into New Orleans still controlling their own playoff destiny with games against the two other teams contending for the NFC South title in the final two weeks of the season!

Bad cop: THEY ARE ALL BELOW .500. HOW CAN YOU GET EXCITED FOR THAT?

SUNDAY, December 14, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

New York Giants at St. Louis Rams

Good cop: With recent wins, these two teams have pulled themselves up out of the NFL cellar by their own bootstraps! They’re playing hard for their coaches and their jobs and that’s always worth watching!

Bad cop: Oh, I guess it’s worth watching. I prefer teams that are either great or pathetic. Mediocre doesn’t really do it for me.

Buffalo Bills at Oakland Raiders

Good cop: The Bills get rewarded for their season saving victory over the Packers last week with a sweet trip to Oakland! Take care of business there and they’ll put themselves in a better position to make the playoffs.

Bad cop: Not a good one though. They have the worst tie-breakers of the nine teams in their conference with eight or more wins.

Indianapolis Colts at Dallas Cowboys

Good cop: Bright lights and big stars in this game with Andrew Luck sauntering into Dallas to play against Tony Romo, Dez Bryant, and DeMarco Murray!

Bad cop: For the last time, offenses don’t play against each other. Gah. These are the two most overblown and overrated teams in the league. Have fun with them before they go out in the first round of the playoffs.

SUNDAY, December 21, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals

Good cop: The Cardinals clinched a playoff spot last weekend but they’re very much a team in the process of adjusting and evolving! For the third time this year, they have to integrate a new starting quarterback!

Bad cop: Ryan Lindley against the Seattle Defense? Ouch.

MONDAY, December 22, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Denver Broncos at Cincinnati Bengals

Good cop: A primetime meeting of two playoff teams! It’s got talent and intrigue! Is Peyton Manning injured?

Bad cop: Is Andy Dalton still a starting quarterback in the NFL? Why?

Stumbling to the end… the NFL in 2014

The story of the year in sports has been the downfall of the NFL’s institutional standing at a time when it is still close to its pinnacle in popularity if not expanding. The NFL and the sports media companies that cover it have dealt with some serious issues this year, from domestic abuse all the way to child abuse with lots of other abuses between. At every step of the way, they/we have proven to be rigid, self-impressed, and unable to adequately or elegantly meet the challenges it faces. This year-long travail continued in the news this week with three new stories covering the poor treatment of NFL cheerleaders, a fan who finds himself unable to be a fan anymore, and some insight from ESPN’s ombudsman on his way out of the position.

Buffalo Bills Cheerleaders’ Routine: No Wages and No Respect

by Michael Powell for the New York Times

Mark Bittman wrote an op-ed in the New York Times yesterday where he argued that all of our issues from police brutality to minimum wage to climate change are all connected and should be confronted that way. I imagine he would draw a direct line from the casual and incomprehensible abuse of power between the NFL and its cheerleading teams to the other high-profile social issues of our times. For myself, I can say that I simply do not understand the NFL’s treatment of its cheer squads from a financial perspective. Paying and treating them fairly would have no negative impact on NFL teams’ bottom lines. It would be like a single drop escaping from a bucket the size of Rhode Island.

The National Football League, that $10 billion “nonprofit” business, is the occasionally repulsive gift that keeps on giving. An all-American empire, the N.F.L. is structured with various and many principalities and emirates, and fixers who cushion the leadership from the unsightly details of league business as usual.

The team’s contractor handed the women a contract and a personnel code, and told them to sign on the spot. The team dictated everything from the color of their hair to how they handled their menstrual cycle.

The contractor required they visit a sponsor who was a plastic surgeon. He offered a small discount if they opted for breast augmentation and other services. Larger breasts, however, were not a condition of nonpaid employment.

The Jills’ subcontractor, Stejon Productions, readily acknowledges that it is a front operation.

The National Football League, as is its practice, has little to say on the question of uncompensated work by these high-profile women. Goodell offered his patented I-know-nothing routine.

“I have no knowledge,” he wrote in an affidavit, of the Jills’ “selection, training, compensation and/or pay practices.”

A contract surfaced that laid out the terms and was signed by Goodell. A league lawyer asserted that Goodell’s signature was affixed by a stamp.

Vijay Seshadri Struggles With Watching Football

by Liz Robbins for the New York Times

Vijay Seshadri is a poet who hurtled into the public consciousness when his poem, The Disappearances was published by the New Yorker in the issue following 9/11. In this small profile, Seshadri expresses feelings of conflict and loss over his Sunday routine which used to consist of football, football, football; no longer.

I feel a little reluctant to tell you what else I do on Sunday. I feel bad about it now. I feel conflicted. Usually in the fall I would watch football. I was a Steelers fan. My parents still live in Pittsburgh and I went to high school there. I always felt like somehow that was one of the things in my life that ennobled me.

So this year has been very bad for me in terms of the normal rhythms of a Sunday. I can’t really comfortably sit down and watch the pregame shows. It’s weird if you’re a sports fan to have all this karmic weight bearing down on this experience that you approached with a certain amount of innocence.

Inside the ESPN Empire

By Chris Laskowski for Slate

Like many enormous companies, ESPN has an ombudsman, someone within the organization but independent from its normal hierarchy who can investigate disputes and, in the case of media organizations, comment publicly on them. Richard Lipsyte has been ESPN’s ombudsman for the last year and a half but has decided to leave the post. On his way out, he gave an interview to Chris Laskowski and Slate magazine. It’s a revealing look inside the sausage machine of sports news and surprisingly (at least to me,) Lipsyte flips the script and puts the majority of blame for the tenor of ESPN’s “see no evil, hear no evil” coverage on its fans.

The tension here isn’t just between ESPN and its business partners in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. It’s between ESPN and its viewers, who mostly don’t seem to care whether the leagues are doing evil.

Lipsyte says he received close to 20,000 emails during his time as ombudsman. Lots of viewers complained about specific on-air issues—why is this person still on the air, or why does ESPN hate my favorite sport, particularly if that favorite sport is hockey. But what really bothered ESPN’s core audience, Lipsyte says, was “the intrusion of what they called societal issues into what was, in a way, kind of a sacred place. People so often come to sports as this sanctuary from the real world, where they can sit in their living room with their family and not be assailed by anything that will upset them.” For some, that upsetting thing was the sight of football player Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend to celebrate being drafted.

NFL Week 15 Good Cop, Bad Cop Precaps

Week 15

Sunday, December 14, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Green Bay Packers at Buffalo Bills

Good cop: The Buffalo fans are consistently among the best in the league! They’re going to find a way to help their team in this must-win game against the mighty Packers!

Bad cop: How? What if one of them transformed the world into a cartoon and then the other 71,856 threw banana peels at Aaron Rodgers? That might work. Maybe.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Baltimore Ravens

Good cop: What luck for the Ravens who are fighting for a playoff spot and their division lead! They play the woeful Jaguars while the Browns and Bengals play each other and the Steelers play the dangerous Falcons!

Bad cop: The “dangerous falcons?” You must be mistaken — the Steelers are playing the Atlanta Falcons football team, not a flock of predatory birds. The football team is not dangerous.

Cleveland Browns at Cincinnati Bengals

Good cop: Finally! Finally, we’ll get to see the most talked about rookie quarterback, Johnny Manziel, start a game for the Cleveland Browns!

Bad cop: Yes… Manziel is so exciting that his coaches waited until their team was basically eliminated from playoff contention to start him. Exciting like a rusty roller coaster is exciting.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Carolina Panthers

Good cop: With their quarterback sidelined after a scary looking car accident that luckily ended with only a couple small broken bones in his back, the Panthers turn to journeyman Derek Anderson who beat the Buccaneers earlier this year! Even at 4-8-1, the Panthers’ playoff hopes are still alive!

Bad cop: The only small broken bones are ones other people have. The only hope the Panthers have for the playoffs are mathematical.

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts

Good cop: The Texans are only game out of a wild card spot and I think this is the week they finally break through their division rivals, Indianapolis Colts! If anyone can outsmart and outbeard Andrew Luck, it’s the Texans erudite wildman Quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick!

Bad cop: I don’t care about all that. When it’s December and cold, windy, and snowing across larger parts of the United States, the last thing I want to watch is a mediocre football game inside a dome. I want weather.

Oakland Raiders at Kansas City Chiefs

Good cop: Just a month ago, the Chiefs were 7-3 and looked like they could stroll into the playoffs this year! Then they played the winless Raiders on Thursday, lost, lost their next two games, and are on the outside looking in! That Raiders loss really derailed their season and I’m interested to see them get their revenge!

Bad cop: “My name is Alex Smith, you defeated my football team, prepare to lose.” Not exactly the thing legends are made of.

Miami Dolphins at New England Patriots

Good cop: It’s another divisional revenge game! The Patriots don’t really need to win this game, but that’s never stopped Brady and Bellichick for looking to destroy a team that beat them the last time they played!

Bad cop: Brady, Bellichick, Brady, Bellichick. I’m getting bored with those two. Can we swap them out for the characters from True Detective? Then you’d have an interesting football team — okay Gronkowski, on this play I want you to run a flat circle and then I’ll throw you the ball…

Washington Redskins at New York Giants

Good cop: HEY! After this game, we’ll only have to se– I mean get to see these teams two more times!

Bad cop: [quietly nods]

Pittsburgh Steelers at Atlanta Falcons

Good cop: Ben Roethlisberger has thrown for six touchdowns in two games this year! I expect he’ll come close to that again this Sunday against the Falcons “pass defense!”

Bad cop: [quietly nods proudly]

SUNDAY, December 14, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Denver Broncos at San Diego Chargers

Good cop: Doesn’t it seem like the Broncos always have to go through the Chargers on their way through the playoffs?!!

Bad cop: Yep — and they always beat them, every time, so where’s the drama?

New York Jets at Tennessee Titans

Good cop: It’s the only head to head matchup this week among the five teams tied at the bottom of the schedule at 2-11! Whoever wins this game gets bragging rights!

Bad cop: And loses an important chance to grab the first overall draft pick next year.

Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions

Good cop: Don’t sleep on the Vikings! They’ve won their last two games and are sneaking closer and closer to .500! Not bad for quarterback Teddy Bridgewater’s first year!

Bad cop: I would never sleep on a Viking. Too spiky.

San Francisco 49ers at Seattle Seahawks

Good cop: A rematch of the Thanksgiving night game! A rematch of last year’s NFC Championship!

Bad cop: Since last year’s NFC Championship, the 49ers are 7-6. Since Thanksgiving, they’ve lost to the Raiders. Not interested.

SUNDAY, December 14, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Dallas Cowboys at Philadelphia Eagles

Good cop: I’m basically speechless! A division rivalry! Both teams are 9-4! Drama! Action!

Bad cop: Expectations lead to disappointment.

MONDAY, December 15, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears

Good cop: It’s a matchup between two of the most surprising teams of the season!

Bad cop: Yep — even I have been surprised at how terrible these teams are.

Week 14 NFL One Liners

Week 14

Sunday, December 7, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Baltimore Ravens 28, at Miami Dolphins 13

The Dolphins went up early in this game and then… well, maybe they got distracted by Christmas shopping? Not sure how else to explain the total collapse that followed.
Line: So much for the Dolphins being a playoff team. They might still make it but they shouldn’t.

Indianapolis Colts 25, at Cleveland Browns 24

This was the heartbreaker of the day. The Browns really deserved to win this game after outplaying the Colts for at least two-thirds of the game despite being mildly outclassed.
Line: Cleveland doesn’t deserve more sports heartbreak but they sure get it often enough.

Pittsburgh Steelers 42, at Cincinnati Bengals 21

After a couple years of the Bengals outpacing the Steelers, it seems like the world is being brought back to normalcy. The Steelers traditionally beat the Bengals.
Line: Big Ben beat the Bengals. (Ten times fast.)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers 17, at Detroit Lions 34

It wasn’t more than a handful of years ago that the Lions were like the Buccaneers — perennial losers who can’t seem to win no matter what they do.
Line: My, how things have changed in Detroit.

Houston Texans 27, at Jacksonville Jaguars 13

The Texans keep themselves in the playoff race with this victory but you get the sense that is more of a mathematical reality than a realistic one.
Line: The Texans are just good enough to consistently beat the bad teams, which was more than good enough today.

New York Jets 24, at Minnesota Vikings 30

Quietly, after beating the hapless New York Jets in overtime, the Vikings are 6-7 and flirting with .500. That’s not bad for a team that has looked almost as bad as the very worst teams in the league at times this year.
Line: The Vikings might be sneaky good. The Jets coaches should be sneaking back home so they don’t get fired when they get off the plane.

New York Giants 36, at Tennessee Titans 7

I think that long time Giants coach Tom Coughlin might retire after this season even if he doesn’t get fired, but it’s a real credit to him the way his players rally around him even when there’s no hope left for this season.
Line: The Giants are down and out but at least they’re not the Titans.

St. Louis Rams 24, at Washington Redskins 0

Did I say “the Giants are down and out but at least they’re not the Titans”? I meant, “at least they’re not the Redskins”. What an insanely decrepit and dysfunctional organization.
Line: I think the Redskins unfavorables just passed the Congress’. And that’s saying something!

SUNDAY, December 7, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Buffalo Bills 17, at Denver Broncos 24

I don’t understand what NFL god has it out for the Bills. First they get stuck in a division forever with the Patriots. Then, the one year they’re half-decent and have a shot to make the playoffs, they are somehow scheduled to play against the Broncos just when they need a win? Gah.
Line: I guess it’s true — if it weren’t for bad luck, the Bills would have no luck at all.

Kansas City Chiefs 14, at Arizona Cardinals 17

Wow — this was the most exciting game of the day if you go by importance to the overall playoff picture. At halftime, the ascendant Chiefs looked ascendant and the collapsing Cardinals looked collapsy. But then the Cardinals scored 11 points in the third quarter and shut the Chiefs out for the entire second half and flipped the script.
Line: Things change fast in the NFL. Now the Cardinals look like they might have enough to hold off the Seahawks for the division lead and the Chiefs look like they’re in trouble.

San Francisco 49ers 13, at Oakland Raiders 24

All year, the story hovering around the 49ers has been that the potential departure of their coach Jim Harbaugh has been negatively affecting their play. This week, rumors that the 49ers might trade him to the Raiders were buzzing. After today’s game, Harbaugh might not mind going across the bay to Oakland.
Line: Harbaugh might as well just stay in Oakland after this game.

Seattle Seahawks 24, at Philadelphia Eagles 14

After winning the Super Bowl last year, the Seahawks started slow this year but now it’s December and they are starting to look decidedly unbeatable again.
Line: I guess that Super Bowl hangover has lifted.

SUNDAY, December 7, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

New England Patriots 23, at San Diego Chargers 14

Another close game at half-time where one team shut the other out in the second half to win. That must be all the rage these days because I think it happened two or three times yesterday. In this game it was the Patriots who shut the Chargers out in the second half while they scored 10 points of their own in the fourth quarter.
Line: I’m sure there’s some stat about the Patriots not losing two games in a row very many times over the past fifteen years while Tom Brady has been quarterback and Bill Bellichick has been coach.

NFL Week 14 Good Cop, Bad Cop Precaps

Week 14

Sunday, December 7, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Baltimore Ravens at Miami Dolphins

Good cop: This is basically a playoff game! Win and you have an inside track to the playoffs! Lose and you’re on a fast track to vacation!

Bad cop: “Inside track?” “Fast track?” You lose some money at the race track this weekend?

Indianapolis Colts at Cleveland Browns

Good cop: All week, the story has been about whether the Browns would give the starting quarterback job back to Brian Hoyer or move on to rookie Johnny Manziel!! People are missing the real story which is that the Browns are in the perfect situation to win this game and get back into the playoff race!

Bad cop: Nope. The real story is that the Browns are reverting back to classic, losing Cleveland Browns fashion with two bad losses in the last three games.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Cincinnati Bengals

Good cop: Nothing is settled in the AFC North playoff race because the Steelers haven’t played the Browns yet! Their two games against each other in the final four weeks of the season will decide who wins the division!

Bad cop: You’re forgetting that after this week, the Ravens play the Jaguars, Texans, and Browns. That’s three easy wins and a playoff spot for them.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Detroit Lions

Good cop: It’s been a week and a half since the Lions won on Thanksgiving! Don’t forget about them! They’re 8-4 and one game behind the Green Bay Packers for the NFC North title!

Bad cop: No one is sleeping on the Lions. You don’t sleep around Lions unless you want to be sleeping with the fishes.

Houston Texans at Jacksonville Jaguars

Good cop: The Texans need to win this game to stay alive for a playoff spot but I have to say, after the Jaguars beat the Giants last week, I think they trip up the Texans too!

Bad cop: It doesn’t matter — the Texans are a mediocre team that’s only beat bad teams (the Titans, Browns, and the Titans again) lately. Lucky for them, they have the Jaguars twice in their last four games. They’ll end the year 8-8 and just miss the playoffs.

New York Jets at Minnesota Vikings

Good cop: Jets wide receiver, Percy Harvin, returns to Minnesota to play against his old team!

Bad cop: And still, he doesn’t have a quarterback that can get him the ball reliably. The more things change…

New York Giants at Tennessee Titans

Good cop: Did you see Giants receiver, Odell Beckham’s catch last week?! If that guy’s playing, I’m watching!

Bad cop: You wrote that last week. Get some new… oh, I just watched the video again. Okay, this is a terrible game, but I’m in.

St. Louis Rams at Washington Redskins

Good cop: Washington’s tour of referendum, that started last week against the Colts, continues against the Rams, the team they traded so many draft picks to in order to select Robert Griffin III a few years ago! Who won the trade?!

Bad cop: No one did. The Rams still stink and RGIII has probably played his last game for Washington. Both teams lost.

SUNDAY, December 7, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Buffalo Bills at Denver Broncos

Good cop: If any visiting team can handle the Denver weather, it’s Buffalo!!

Bad cop: Weather? Denver is the sunniest city in the country. It snows all the time in Buffalo. You’re just trying to distract our readers from the travesty of beat-down that will be this game. Broncos win by 36 points.

Kansas City Chiefs at Arizona Cardinals

Good cop: Let’s see if the Cardinals can stanch the bleeding and save their season against the Chiefs! After starting 9-1, the Cardinals have lost two in a row! They need to win this game!

Bad cop: But they’re not going to. It’s sad, I like the Cardinals but their season is over.

San Francisco 49ers at Oakland Raiders

Good cop: Time for the 49ers to right the ship in Oakland!

Bad cop: Seems like if there’s a scenario in which Raiders would thrive, it would be keeping someone from righting a ship. Alas, they do not thrive in a football setting.

Seattle Seahawks at Philadelphia Eagles

Good cop: This could be an NFC Championship preview! It’s the perfect contrast of style and skill: the Eagles offense against the Seahawks defense!

Bad cop: This game is not totally unwatchable, I suppose.

SUNDAY, December 7, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

New England Patriots at San Diego Chargers

Good cop: This is a literal rematch of the 2007-2008 AFC Championship which Chargers quarterback Phillip Rivers played with a torn ACL! That’s tough!

Bad cop: As Chico said in Monkey Business, “You pay us too much, we’re too much tough.”

MONDAY, December 8, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Atlanta Falcons at Green Bay Packers

Good cop: As good as the last two months has been for the Packers, they only have a one game lead over the Detroit Lions for their division lead! They need to win this game!

Bad cop: They will. Remember that prime time game earlier this year when Atlanta went out to something like a 50-0 lead over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers? That’s how bad this game is going to be but reversed.

Football brilliance and its price, but is there hope?

Football, football, football. It’s mid-fall and my brain is still full of football. Soon, basketball, and hockey will creep in. Once in a while, a blip of tennis or soccer or volleyball pops up, but for the most part, it’s football, football, football. The sports media is equally obsessed and luckily for all of us, its producing a ton of great stories about football. Here are three from the past week that I want to share with you because of their great writing and impressive subjects.

Odell Beckham Jr.’s Catch Was A Culmination: A Former WR Explains

by Nate Jackson for Deadspin

Nate Jackson is a retired NFL player and the author of an insightful book about life in the NFL called Slow Getting Up. In this article for Deadspin, Jackson gives his thoughts on the incredible catch made by Odell Beckham last week that has widely been called the (or one of the) best catch in the history of the NFL. Jackson describes how difficult playing receiver is and also how little leeway the NFL’s obsessive coaches give players to practice the incredible.

But you can’t just play catch and call yourself a receiver. You have to get open. To get open on a route, you tell a lie with your body. This is harder than it seems. You may think you are leaning one way, but you’re not. To pretend to go one way when you really plan to go another way is counterintuitive. To do so at top speed requires a full-scale deception perpetrated against yourself. Every muscle, every bone, every ligament must be in on the lie, lest the defensive back see through you, and crush you.

But let’s think about something here, for one moment. ODB, a man with the football skills we just witnessed, is not allowed to trust his football instinct UNTIL the ball is in flight. He must stick to the PLAN until the ball is let go. …in the NFL, the freedom to improvise exists only for the quarterback. And even for him, it is rare. Our finest football players, men who would make Batman blush, must adhere to the small-minded tactics of a bygone era. And the arbiters of that era, uncoincidentally, are the men who also cannot conceive of such a catch being made in the first place.

Real Life or Fantasy?

by Joe Posnanski for NBC SportsWorld

It’s probably worth noting that Odell Beckham, the player who made the amazing catch described in the first article, didn’t finish the game he made it in. He left the game hurt although he did play in the next game. That’s the life of an NFL player — play, get hurt, play, get hurt. Rinse, repeat, until it’s time to retire. This is the story of a player who, in his day, scored more touchdowns and took more hits than almost anyone else and what his life is like now.

Housewives wrote thank you notes to him. Office workers built desk shrines to him. People around America would spend more time in the fall thinking about Priest Holmes than they would about their families. They named their fantasy teams after him – “Holmes Wreckers” and “Judas Priests” and “The High Priest of Touchdowns” – and they moved their lineups around him and they spent their Sundays shrugging when opponents took a big lead because nothing mattered, nothing at all, until Priest Holmes stepped on the field and began his weekly fantasy football scoring spree.

The greatest fantasy football player of them all looks for cracks in the ground when he walks now. “Cracks,” he says. “Divots. Unlevel ground. A shift in the pavement. A crack in the hall.”

He looks for these things because the tiniest variation in elevation can throw his body now. If he hits one of those cracks just a little bit wrong, his ankle turns. His hip jolts. “I can blow out a knee,” he says. The body that once bounced off the ground after the most savage crash went dark now teeters with the slightest incline or dip.

Each week took a terrible toll on him. He would remember Friday nights when he still wasn’t sure if he could play. That’s because: The feeling happened every Friday night. “Something would happen between Friday night and Saturday night,” he says. “I guess it was the mental training of it, I’d just done it so many times that my body would come together. “But I would know that the minute that game ended on Sunday, I wasn’t going to be healthy Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. It would be back to Friday, and me saying: ‘Come on body, I need you one more time.’”

Concussions, by the New Book

by Bill Pennington for The New York Times

Times have changed in the NFL since Priest Holmes played. Sure, his career would have been ended by the knee and hip injuries that ended his career anyway, but perhaps, thanks to a new comprehensive policy on head injuries, the mood swings and scary loss of feeling that Holmes suffers from may have been lessened or prevented. There is some hope.

Once, the treatment of players with head injuries varied from team to team and could be haphazard. Beginning last season, all players suspected of having a head injury — should they lose consciousness from a collision or experience symptoms like a headache, dizziness or disorientation — were required to go through the concussion protocol system. It features a broad cast: a head-injury spotter in the press box, athletic trainers on the bench, doctors and neuro-trauma specialists on the sideline and experts in neuro-cognitive testing in the locker room.

Each doctor interviewed for this article said a consensus in the “Go or No Go” moment is usually reached easily and without disagreements. No one recalled discord. “Ninety percent of the time, it’s pretty obvious,” Kinderknecht said. “It’s not a whole lot different than talking to somebody who is intoxicated. You can tell.”

It is becoming more commonplace for players to self-report a head injury… Players are also policing one another, tipping off the trainers that a teammate acted oddly in the huddle. Gossett said he had seen game officials alerting medical personnel as well.

Week 13 NFL One Liners

Week 13

Sunday, November 30, at 1:00 p.m. ET

Cleveland Browns 10, at Buffalo Bills 26

The Bills are riding high after two straight victories. They’re 7-5 and within spitting distance of the playoffs. The only problem is, they play the Broncos, Packers, and Patriots in three of their final four games. That’s a tough schedule!
Line: I feel for Bills fans — so much hope and so little chance of making the playoffs.

San Diego Chargers 34, at Baltimore Ravens 33

Wowee! The Chargers were down by ten points with about six minutes left and managed to catch up and win. All-together, they scored 21 points in the fourth quarter.
Line: A one point game. It literally does not get any closer than that.

Carolina Panthers 13, at Minnesota Vikings 31

The Panthers continue their under-the-radar disastrous season with a big loss to the Vikings. This time, it was two blocked punts that cost the Panthers. Most teams go whole seasons without allowing two of their punts to be blocked — the Panthers did it in one game.
Line: I didn’t think the Panthers were going to have such a poor season.

Cincinnati Bengals 14, at Tampa Bay Buccaneers 13

There’s a cliche in the NFL (and in sports in general) that good teams find a way to win and bad teams find a way to lose. What that means, is that little mistakes have big costs and bad teams like the Buccaneers seem to make a lot of costly bad mistakes. Today it was a long pass play that was called back because the Buccaneers had 12 men on the field.
Line: Getting the right number of people on the field seems foundational. The Buccaneers should work on that.

Tennessee Titans 21, at Houston Texans 45

The Texans started the year with Ryan Fitzpatrick as their starting quarterback. They tired of his play midway through the year and moved to lesser known Ryan Mallett. Last week Mallett tore his pectoral muscle, so Fitzpatrick got his job back. This week Fitzpatrick threw for a team-record six touchdowns to lead his team to a victory.
Line: Ryan Fitzpatrick? Six Touchdowns? Ryan Fitzpatrick?!

Washington Redskins 27, at Indianapolis Colts 49

Coverage of the Washington Redskins’ collapse this year has focused on their three quarterbacks and who should be starting for the team. It’s much ado about nothing if the defense gives up 49 points!
Line: Washington should forget about its quarterback drama for a few days and focus on the defense.

New York Giants 24, at Jacksonville Jaguars 25

Giants fans are hurting after this loss to the woeful Jacksonville Jaguars. It’s probably time to admit that the Giants, who had a 21 point lead in this game and still lost, are equally woeful right now.
Line: That has got to hurt.

New Orleans Saints 35, at Pittsburgh Steelers 32

It’s been a while, it seems like more than a season, since we could say that Drew Brees played like the Drew Brees of old. The Drew Brees of old was a fairly unbeatable touchdown producing machine.
Line: Drew Brees played like the Drew Brees of old!

Oakland Raiders 0, at St. Louis Rams 52

Coming into this game, you might be forgiven for thinking there wasn’t that big of a difference between the 1-10 Raiders and the 4-7 Rams. You won’t be saying that anymore after this beat-down.
Line: The Rams want all of us to know that they’re a LOT better than the Raiders.

SUNDAY, November 30, AT 4:05 and 4:25 P.M. ET

Arizona Cardinals 18, at Atlanta Falcons 29

The story of the Falcons season has been overcoming injuries. They may have reached a point of saturation on that front. After losing three starters in the first half, they lost the game to the Falcons, who kept themselves in first place of their division with this victory.
Line: There’s only so many injuries a team can handle.

New England Patriots 21, at Green Bay Packers 26

One team had to lose this game (already not true, since there can be ties in the NFL, but you know what I mean) but it doesn’t really teach us anything we didn’t already know. These two teams are very, very good and even very, very good teams can lose football games.
Line: You think this might be a Super Bowl Preview?

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 30, AT 8:30 P.M. ET

Denver Broncos 29, at Kansas City Chiefs 16

The Chiefs tried their best, and actually, if it weren’t for a few big and somewhat random plays on special teams, the game would have been much closer. As it is, the Broncos running game pushed, trampled, and bulldozed the team to a victory.
Line: It becomes not really fair if Peyton Manning also has a good running game.