Category: Football

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

New York Giants – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC East
• History – The New York Giants are one of five teams that inaugurated the NFL in 1925. Of the five, the Giants are the only team that has survived through to current day. This accomplishment was helped enormously by the team’s incredible stability — they have been owned by a single family, the Maras, for their entire history!
• Championships – The Giants won four championships in the pre-Super Bowl era (1927, 1934, 1938, and 1956) and have won four Super Bowls in the modern era (1986, 1990, 2007, and 2011.)
• Rivals – The Giants maintain brutal rivalries with the other three teams in the NFC East, the Dallas Cowboys, Washington Redskins, and most of all, the Philadelphia Eagles. They also have non divisional rivalries with the San Francisco 49ers and New England Patriots.

The New York Giants are a model sports franchise and they know it. They value stability and winning in tandem. The organization shows great loyalty to coaches and players and the fans generally pay them back in kind. There’s nothing edgy about the Giants but if you like tradition and an air of righteousness that stops just short of being sanctimonious, the Giants are the team for you.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the New York Giants?

Wellington Mara was the son of Tim Mara, who was the Giants first owner. In their first season, 1925, Wellington served as ball boy. He was to stay with the Giants for the vast majority of the next 80 years. He gained a half ownership of the team from his father in 1930 when he was only 14. After graduating from New York’s Fordham University, Mara went to work for the family business as Assistant to the President and Treasurer of the Giants. In 1966 he became president of the Giants, a position he would hold until his death in 2005. Mara is regarded as one of the best and most well respected owners in NFL history.

Bill Parcells is the antithesis of Wellington Mara; a coach so cantankerous that he referred to his players only by number and often belittled them publicly. Head coach of the Giants from 1983 to 1990, Parcells won two Super Bowls with the team, thanks largely to his brilliantly designed defenses, known collectively as the Big Blue Wrecking Crew.

Lawrence Taylor was the lynchpin to those New York Giants defenses. A quarterback hunting 3-4 outside linebacker whose freakish athleticism was only surpassed by his struggle with addiction. Taylor was the first defensive player to be unanimously voted NFL Most Valuable Player (MVP) in 1986. Taylor is considered one of the best linebackers to ever play and has been credited with changing how teams trained and valued offensive linemen, the players who were needed to counter-act Taylor’s chaotic brilliance. After he retired, Taylor’s issues with addiction led to multiple incarcerations. He also pled guilty to statutory rape in 2011.

Where do the New York Giants play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a New York Giants fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

It’s all caviar and smoked salmon for fans of the New York Giants. It’s rare for a team to be associated so closely with class (at least in the United States) but the fact that New York City has two NFL football teams makes a class division between the New York Giants and New York Jets possible. Giants fans are firmly on the white collar, blue-blood, business person side of the fence.

What will make a New York Giants fan squirm?

Confuse the Giants with the Jets. Repeatedly.

Buy New York Giants Swag!

What do the New York Giants look like?

Team colors are dark blue, red, white, and gray. Their current uniforms look like this.

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 New York Giants including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

Dallas Cowboys – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC East
• History – The Dallas Cowboys have a crazy creation story. Before 1960, the southern-most team in the NFL was the Washington Redskins. The Redskins owner wanted to keep it that way so he could continue to have a giant natural fan-base and he was able to since any new owner required a unanimous vote from existing NFL onwers. A man named Clint Murchison Jr. wanted to buy a team and more it to Texas. He and the owner of the Redskins almost came to terms on a purchase before the Redskins owner, George Preston Marshall, changed his mind. Murchison was determined to succeed, so he found an alternate way of getting leverage over Marshall. He purchased the rights to the Redskins team song and then told Marshall he wasn’t allowed to use it at games until he gave Murchison the vote needed to start a team in Texas. That worked and the rest, as they say, is history. The Cowboys started playing in 1960 and have played in the Dallas area ever since.
• Championships – Five — two in the 1970s (’71 and ’77) and three in the 1990s (’92, ’93, and ’95).
• Rivals – The Cowboys have two categories of rivals. As a member of one of the most prestigious and consistent divisions in the NFL, they have deep rivalries with the other teams in the NFC East, the Washington Redskins, New York Giants, and Philadelphia Eagles. As one of the three teams vying for most Super Bowl wins ever, the Cowboys are rivals with the Pittsburgh Steelers and San Francisco 49ers.

Everything about the Dallas Cowboys is a big deal. The Cowboys are the most popular, most profitable team in the NFL. According to Wikipedia, they have an estimated value of $2.1 billion and annual revenue around $269 million. Their nickname is “America’s team” which, beloved as they are by their fan-base, makes virtually every other football fan seethe. They are simultaneously the most loved and the most hated team. They are one of two teams (with the Detroit Lions) that always host a game on Thanksgiving. From 1966 to 1985, the Cowboys had a winning record every year, the longest streak of this kind in NFL history. Then, after a short blip, the Cowboys came back to win three Super Bowls in four years in the first half of the 1990s. That type of consistent winning played into the already messianic nature of the Cowboys following. Since then, things have gotten rougher for the Cowboys, but their fans always feel like the team is one move away from returning to the top.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the Dallas Cowboys?

Jerry Jones is the megalomaniac owner of the Dallas Cowboys. He purchased the team in 1989 and almost immediately fired the best coach in the team’s history as well as the team’s general manager. He replaced the coach but decided to step into the role of general manager himself, making him the only owner in the NFL to have such hands-on control over their team. Jones feels he has the experience in football to play the role of general manager in part because he was a star running back who co-captained a national championship winning Arkansas college football team in 1964. Love him or hate him, Jones is always the biggest character in any room he’s in and many he’s not.

Two coaches, Tom Landry and Jimmy Johnson, are central in the minds of Cowboy fans. Landry was coach of the team from 1960 – 1988 and presided over the team’s two Super Bowl wins and its entire twenty year winning streak. His 29 years of tenure at a single team are still an NFL record. Striking a striking figure in his signature fedora, Landry was also an innovative figure in NFL history. He invented what is has been the most common defensive formation in the modern history of the NFL, the 4-3. Johnson took over for Landry after he was fired in 1988 and immediately changed the tone of the team. He had been coach of the football team at the University of Miami, where his teams were notorious for NCAA rule-breaking and intimidating, over-the top braggadocio on the field. And winning, of course. Although the Cowboys only won one game during Johnson’s first year, they quickly turned it around and won two Super Bowls. Following the second, Johnson too was fired, making him the rare coach to leave a team right after winning a championship.

Where do the Dallas Cowboys play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a Dallas Cowboys fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

Your date has made the most common, most obvious, most mainstream choice when it comes to football, so expect them to do the same in their everyday life. Sit down for dinner and they’re going to have the chicken parm. What kind of soda do they like? Coke. What’s their favorite color? Blue.

What will make a Dallas Cowboys fan squirm?

Point out that it’s now been 20 years since the Cowboys won a Super Bowl. Cowboys fans are natural front-runners, so a period with no championship hurts them more than it does any other fan base.

Buy Dallas Cowboys Swag!

What do the Dallas Cowboys look like?

Team colors are navy blue, white, and silver. Their current uniforms look like this.

 

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 Dallas Cowboys including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

Arizona Cardinals – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC West
• History – The Arizona Cardinals are the oldest continuously run professional football team in the United States. They were founded in 1898 on the South Side of Chicago. They were purchased in 1932 by successful and suspicious businessman, Charles Bidwill, who was rumored to have ties with Al Capone. The team is still in the Bidwill family (now thoroughly respectable) today. In 1960, the Bidwill family moved the team to St. Louis, where they played until 1988 when the family again moved the team, this time to Phoenix, Arizona.
• Championships – For as long as the Cardinals have played, they have a shockingly small number of championships. They claim to have won in 1925, although that fact is disputed hotly by whatever fans of the Pottsville Maroons there are left. The Cardinals won the NFL championship in 1947, well before the creation of the Super Bowl. In the Super Bowl era, the Cardinals have never won.
• Rivals – Throughout their history, the Cardinals have had many different rivalries. In Chicago, a city they shared with the Bears, those were their main rivals. While in St. Louis, the team played in what is now the NFC East division and the Cardinals developed rivalries with the Dallas Cowboys, Washington Redskins, New York Giants, and Philadelphia Eagles. These days, the Cardinals play in the NFC West against the Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, and San Francisco 49ers. The result is a team with many unfriendly match-ups but no real deep rivalries.

The Cardinals are a venerable laughingstock. They carry all the trappings of a traditional NFL powerhouse, they just don’t win like one. They’re not romantically cursed like some long-time losing baseball teams, they just don’t win. Their modern history has been exemplified by an angry coach, being on the losing end of one of the most exciting Super Bowls of all time, and completely failing since then to find a half-decent quarterback to complement the team’s excellent defense.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the Arizona Cardinals?

Dick “Night Train” Lane was a Hall of Fame defensive back who played for the Cardinals from 1954 to 1959. Despite playing in an era with shorter seasons, he still holds the record for most interceptions in a season (14). His nickname comes from his habit of taking trains to away games because of a fear of flying. He was the last of jazz singer Dinah Washington’s seven husbands. Lane died in 2002 of a heart attack after several years of bad health due to knee injuries, CTE, and diabetes.

Pat Tillman played linebacker and defensive back for the Cardinals from 1998 to 2001. Instead of returning for the 2002 season, Tillman decided to join the army, where he and his brother (who gave up a potential professional baseball career to enlist) became Army Rangers. Tillman was killed in 2004. Thanks in part to Tillman’s celebrity, the details of his death were subject to a range of misdirection and cover up. Although originally announced as a victim of enemy fire, Tillman now appears to have been shot by members of his unit, possibly by accident but also possibly on purpose. In life, Tillman was committed to not having his decision to leave the NFL to join the army used for political purposes. In death, his story quite certainly became a subject of political and religious propaganda, despite his family’s best attempts to prevent it.

Where do the Arizona Cardinals play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a Arizona Cardinals fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

Got a droopy eye? Or a limp? Carrying a few extra pounds? You’re lucky you’re dating a Cardinals fan. Cardinals fans are among the best in the world at looking at something imperfect and seeing it as beautiful. They have to do it with their football team, why not with their date?

What will make a Arizona Cardinals fan squirm?

This one is easy. All you have to do is mention a decent quarterback’s name and even the most strong-willed Cardinals fan will begin to mutter to themselves and head to the library to learn ancient Macedonian conjuring spells.

Buy Arizona Cardinals Swag!

What do the Arizona Cardinals look like?

Team colors are Cardinal Red, white, black, and although it does not appear in their uniforms these days, yellow. Their current uniforms look like this.

Current and recent teams

A post about the 2015 Arizona Cardinals including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

St. Louis Rams – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC West
• History – The St. Louis Rams have a long and migratory history. They were established in 1936 in Cleveland Ohio, where their owners, a lawyer named Homer Marshman and a player/coach/owner Damon Wetzel decided to name them the Rams because they admired football players who came out of Fordham University in New York. Weird. Ten years later, the team moved to Los Angeles, where it would play until 1980 when it moved to nearby Anaheim. After another 14 years there, the team moved to its current location in St. Louis. These days there are rumors that the current owner, Stan Kroenke, wants to move the team back to Los Angeles.
• Championships – The Rams won two NFL championships in 1945 and 1951 before the merger between the NFL and AFL which ushered in the modern era of the league. They also won Super Bowl XXXIV in 1999. They are the only team to have won a championship in three different cities.
• Rivals – The San Francisco 49ers are the Rams primary rival, although it’s a slightly lopsided rivalry in terms of winning and primacy. The Rams might only be the 49ers third or fourth most hated rival and since 1980, the 49ers have won 46 of the 71 games the two have played. When the Rams moved to Anaheim, the Oakland Raiders moved to their old stadium in Los Angeles, so during that period those two teams were intense rivals.

The Rams rich history is obscured by the current long period of dismal play (1o years and counting now without a winning record) and by their itinerant past and uncertain future. Still, they have a lot to be proud of. They were the first team to televise their home games, starting in 1950. Two years earlier, they became the first team to put a design on their helmets — the unique ram-horn design which they still use today – and even cooler, it was designed by an active player on the team. They’re also notorious for fierce and tough defensive players. In the 1960s, their four-man defensive line was known as “The Fearsome Foursome” which is an awesome nickname, and in the 70s their defense was led by Jack Youngblood, who famously played through a broken leg, and Jack “Hacksaw” Reynolds whose nickname was Hacksaw! In the late 90s, early 2000s, the team had a brief resurgence with a very different style. Those teams, who won the Rams sole Super Bowl, played a wide open offensive passing game that got them the nickname, “The Greatest Show on Turf.”

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the St. Louis Rams?

Deacon Jones was the leader of the “Fearsome Foursome” defensive line that terrorized opponents in the 1960s. Jones was such a revolutionary defensive player that he actually coined one of the sport’s most important defensive terms, the sack. Here’s Jones on why he called tackling the quarterback a sack: “You take all the offensive linemen and put them in a burlap bag, and then you take a baseball bat and beat on the bag. You’re sacking them, you’re bagging them. And that’s what you’re doing with a quarterback.” One of the signature moves he used to get to quarterbacks was a giant, violent, open handed slap to the the head of the offensive lineman opposite. This was so effective that it was later banned.

Eric Dickerson played running back for the Rams for only a short time, from 1983 to 1987, but they were memorable years. During that period, he set NFL rushing records which still stand today. His regular season rushing records of 1,808 for a rookie and 2,105 have rarely been threatened since he set them and, given how pass-happy the NFL has become, probably won’t be for some time. Likewise, his rookie record of 18 rushing touchdowns. Dickerson is not always brought up when the subject of greatest running backs of all time comes up, but he should be.

Where do the St. Louis Rams play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a St. Louis Rams fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

They’re from St. Louis. Or Los Angeles. Or Anaheim. Basically no matter what era of Rams your date is a fan of, they’re probably harboring a fair amount of resentment or anticipated disappointment. Each move the Rams have made has hurt their fans and they’re all set up to make another one. If your date seems like an upbeat person, then they’ve done that despite of their team. That’s a good sign!

What will make a St. Louis Rams fan squirm?

You’ve got two options here. If the fan you’re trying to make squirm was a fan of the team in Los Angeles, then they’re probably in almost a constant state of squirm because they’re still mad that the team left the area to go to St. Louis in 1994. Of particular insult to Los Angeles/Anaheim Rams fans was the fact that the franchise kept its name and colors exactly the same after it moved. You can get them to squirm a little more by feigning ignorance of the team’s history before the St. Louis era. For newer Rams fans — ones that have only ever known the team in St. Louis — the easiest thing to do is to prey on the team’s decade-long streak without a winning season. Enjoy!

Buy St. Louis Rams Swag!

What do the St. Louis Rams look like?

Team colors are Millenium Blue, New Century Gold, and white. Their current uniforms look like this.

 

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 St. Louis Rams including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

San Francisco 49ers – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC West
• History – As befitting a team named for a gold rush which brought thousands of pioneers to the West Coast, the San Francisco 49ers are pioneers themselves. Founded in 1946, the 49ers were the first professional football team in the western united states. They joined the NFL in 1957. In 1977 the team was sold to Edward J. Bartolo Jr. whose family still owns the team (along with the Yorks) today. Soon after the team changed hands, they launched themselves into a period of 18 years from 1981 to 1998 during which they won fewer than 63% of their games only once and won five Super Bowls and revolutionized how football is played.
• Championships – The San Francisco 49ers have won five championships during an 18-year period of sustained excellence: 1981, 1984, 1988, 1989, and 1994.
• Rivals – As you might expect from a team that won so much for so long, the 49ers have a lot of rivals. Some are against other traditionally strong teams like the New York Giants, Dallas Cowboys, and Green Bay Packers. Others are against current divisional or geographic rivals, like the Oakland Raiders, the Seattle Seahawks, and the St. Louis Rams.

The San Francisco 49ers are members of a small circle of football teams that feel like football royalty. Especially for people whose formative football years fell between 1981 and 1998, the 49ers are synonymous with amazing coaching, great quarterbacking, and perennial winning.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the San Francisco 49ers?

Bill Walsh was the head coach of the San Francisco 49ers from 1979 to 1988. Under his guidance, the team won its first three Super Bowls and went a combined 92-59-1. Football can be read as a conflict between rational, innovative intellect and brute strength and tradition. If you choose to read it that way, there’s no stronger argument for the first approach than Bill Walsh. His key innovation was to realize that short passes move the ball farther down the field than the average run play but if done by a well practiced offense, are not significantly more risky. That’s a massive simplification and, because this practice has, since the time of Walsh, become fairly routine under the name of “West Coast offense,” it may seem unexciting. At the time, it was a tactical breakthrough of Gaussian proportions. Walsh died in 2007.

Joe Montana was the first professional quarterback to benefit from Walsh’s innovative offense. It’s possible that no one has executed it better since Montana. Nicknamed “Joe Cool” and “The Comeback Kid” because of his penchant for playing well when the stakes were the highest, Montana ended his career with 31 wins when his team entered the fourth quarter of a game trailing. That’s 16% of his games! A seemingly unspectacular athlete, he was drafted in the third round of the 1975 NFL draft. He won a fourth Super Bowl in 1989 and picked up his third NFL MVP award in that game as well. [Editor’s note: I believe this was the first football game I ever watched.] Montana is widely thought of as one of the top quarterbacks in NFL history and still revered to this day.

Jerry Rice is the greatest wide receiver in NFL history. Small for a wide receiver, Rice made his plays by being more precise than everyone else and by barely ever dropping a ball that came his way. His style was perfect for the Bill Walsh/Joe Montana 49ers West Coast offense. Rice claims that his strong and reliable hands were developed as a kid when he and his brother would throw bricks two stories up at building sites to help out his father who was a mason. One of the unique aspects of Rice’s career is that he played so long that he was still actively playing in what people would otherwise have thought of as the “post-Jerry Rice era.” He retired in 2005 after 20 years in the NFL. He still owns virtually every receiving record worth having.

Where do the San Francisco 49ers play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a San Francisco 49ers fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

Did your date just order the lobster? Don’t be surprised. 49ers fans are used to the best that life has to offer. Sure, they went through more than a decade of uninspiring teams, but their team never lost the sense of greatness that its colors and logo carry around.

What will make a San Francisco 49ers fan squirm?

Refer to the team as the “Santa Clara 49ers.” In 2014 the team moved from its traditional home within San Francisco city limits out to a new stadium in nearby Santa Clara. This was so antithetical to many local fans and politicians that a lawsuit or evan law change barring the team from using the “San Francisco” moniker was threatened before eventually being dropped.

Buy San Francisco 49ers Swag!

What do the San Francisco 49ers look like?

Team colors are red, gold, and white. Their current uniforms look like this.

 

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 San Francisco 49ers including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

Seattle Seahawks – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – National Football Conference (NFC)
• Division – NFC West
• History – The Seattle Seahawks were an expansion team added to the NFL in 1974 as part of a two team expansion of the league from 26 to 28 teams. Expansions teams are able to stock their team with players by drafting unprotected players from other teams’ rosters. The Seahawks first owner was Lloyd W. Nordstrom of Nordstrom’s clothing store. The team played its first season as part of the NFC West division before being moved to the AFC West where it played until shifting back to the NFC West in 2002. In the mid-1990s, the team was in bankruptcy and almost relocated to California before being purchased by Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft.
• Championships – One, during the 2013 season, when they beat the Denver Broncos 43-8.
• Rivals – The San Francisco 49ers, who are in the same division and the closest team to the Seahawks geographically.

The Seahawks are a little bit different. They’re wacky, they’re innovative, they’re colorful, they’re unique. They are the league’s only team in the Pacific Northwest, an area that seems to have its own particular and somewhat separate culture from the rest of the country. They are the only team to have advanced to the conference finals in both conferences. They wear teal and neon green. Their fans are extremely vocal in support of their team. They’ve set World Records for stadium noise levels and actually caused a recordable seismic event during one memorable touchdown run. Owned by a co-founder of Microsoft, the Seahawks are on the edge of technology use in football, and during the administration of their current coach, Pete Carroll, at the forefront of a new coaching philosophy. The Seahawks are an exciting, trend-setting team.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the Seattle Seahawks?

Pete Carroll is the current coach of the Seahawks and one of the most interesting figures in the league. In my profile of Carroll before the Superbowl XLIX in February, 2015, I wrote, “Pete Carroll is relentlessly laid back. He is an aggressive play-caller (which got him the moniker as “Big Ball’s Pete” at USC) who relies heavily on his players’ instincts and talent to win games… If there is a single theme that runs throughout everything Carroll believes in and does as a football coach, it is positive energy.” Carroll will need all the positivity he can muster during the 2015 after a heartbreaking loss in the Super Bowl, which most people blame Carroll’s last second choice to throw a pass instead of run the ball on the goal line.

Jim Zorn was the quarterback of the Seahawks from 1976 through 1983. He wasn’t the best quarterback in the league but his character so perfectly aligned with that of the Seahawks that he became a notable part of the team’s history. A left-handed quarterback, Zorn subsisted on improvisation and canny to make his way in the league. After his playing career, Zorn became a coach, and eventually moved from quarterbacks coach in Seattle to become the head coach of the Washington Redskins in 2008. During that period, Elizabeth Merrill wrote a wonderful profile of Zorn for ESPN. In it, Zorn’s wife describes him: “You cannot put him into a box,” she says. “He just won’t fit in. He squishes out all over the sides.” That’s Zorn and that’s the Seahawks.

Steve Largent is a hall of fame wide receiver who played his entire career for the Seahawks from 1976 to 1989. At the time of his retirement, he was the single most accomplished pass catcher in NFL history. As someone who explained crossing the picket line to become a scab during the 1982 NFL player strike by siting religious text, it’s no surprise that he went into politics after his playing career. He was a four-term Congressperson in Oklahoma and lost in a closely contested gubernatorial election in 2002.

Where do the Seattle Seahawks play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a Seattle Seahawks fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

With the recent success of the team, there are a lot of people across the country who have become new Seahawks fans. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s great for people to get interested in a sport and choose a team to follow. Front-running as a personality trait through… well, it should make you think twice about getting into a long-term relationship with that person. When things get tough, will they stick with you? When age starts to line your face and wrinkle your skin, are they going to move on to someone new? I’d be wary of bandwagon Seahawks fans. On the other hand, someone who as rooted for the Seahawks their whole life may be pleasantly quirky and quite loyal.

What will make a Seattle Seahawks fan squirm?

Right now, the best thing you can do is to strategically use the word “run.” Particularly in phrases like — “are you sure you don’t want to just run to the store to get it?”  I think you might regret it if you didn’t run there right now.” Or even, “you know what’s the best feeling in the world? Just running. I love running. I run whenever I possibly can. It’s never let me down.”

Buy Seattle Seahawks Swag!

What do the Seattle Seahawks look like?

Team colors are College Navy, Action Green, Wolf Grey. Their current uniforms look like this.

 

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 Seattle Seahawks including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

Bonus podcast!

I recorded a podcast with a Seahawks fan (and a Chiefs fan.) Enjoy!

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

San Diego Chargers – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – American Football Conference (AFC)
• Division – AFC West
• History – The San Diego Chargers came out of the gate swinging, winning division titles in five of the first six years of their existence. They played their first year in Los Angeles before moving down the coast to San Diego. Almost as soon as the team joined the NFL in 1970, things went south for them, and they went a combined 37-70-4 (37 wins, 70 losses, and a remarkable four ties) over the next eight years. They have had three resurgences since then, one in the late 1970s and early 1980s, one in the mid 1990s and one in the mid-2000s, the end of which, the team may still be in. For a celebrity tie-in, the team was originally owned by Barron Hilton, son of Hilton Hotels founder Conrad Hilton and also the grandfather of Paris Hilton.
• Championships – None. The Chargers did win an AFC championship before the league merged with the NFL in 1963.
• Rivals – None. The Chargers don’t get along very well with the other three teams in the division, the Denver Broncos, Kansas City Chiefs and Oakland Raiders, but none rise to the level of true rivalry.

The Chargers have often been an exciting team throughout their history. In 1979, they became the first NFL team to pass more than they ran. They are known for having talented players, coaches, and general managers, and then failing despite of all that. Chargers fans have a little bit of a chip on their shoulder because they’re often overlooked by the success or flashiness of other teams in their division. One of thirteen teams to never win a championship, Chargers fans are still waiting for that magical moment.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the San Diego Chargers?

Junior Seau is the person historians or epic poets will focus on when the tragic history of the NFL is written. Born and raised in San Diego, he was drafted by his home town team in 1990. He quickly became a fan favorite, team leader, and one of the best linebackers in the league. He played for the Chargers for 13 seasons before finishing his career with two stints for the Miami Dolphins and New England Patriots. At no time, regardless of what other team he played for, was he associated with any team more closely than with the Chargers. He was a Charger for life. Unfortunately, his life was far too short. In 2012, at the age of 43, Seau killed himself by shooting himself in the chest. His family donated his brain to a lab studying Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative brain condition that has been linked to football. His family has opted out of the NFL concussion settlement and is suing the league individually. Seau remains a fan favorite. His number was retired by the team in 2012 and he was elected to the NFL Hall of Fame in 2015.

Dan Fouts typifies the San Diego Chargers. He was a revolutionary player who set passing records galore during his 15 year career with the team. He set the record for most passing yards in a season in three consecutive years in 1979, 1980, and again in 1981. In 1982, he set a record for highest average passing yards per game. He was a six-time Pro Bowl quarterback and was elected into the NFL Hall of Fame in 1993. You probably can already hear the “but” coming. During Fouts’ term as quarterback of the Chargers, they never made it to a Super Bowl, much less won one. Today Fouts is a football commentator on CBS.

Where do the San Diego Chargers play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a San Diego Chargers fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

Imagine that the date is going really well. You’ve hit it off wonderfully. Your stories are making him or her laugh, his or hers are giving you a great view into the kind of person they are, and it’s all good. If you’re sitting across the table from a true Chargers fan, they’re going to be absolutely, 100% convinced that something is about to go terribly wrong. It’s been bred into them from watching the Chargers, a team whose most famous play might be the “Immaculate Deception” when they lost a game because a fumble rolled forward into the endzone. This is a team which in recent years always seems to find a way to impress early in the season and then fall apart as the season goes on. They make the playoffs… only to fail in them. Be kind, reassure your date that they don’t share the fate of their favorite football team.

What will make a San Diego Chargers fan squirm?

I probably demonstrated this to you above in this post when I claimed that the Chargers don’t have any real rivals. Do that and add in that the team might move to Los Angeles and you’re guaranteed to make a San Diego Chargers fan squirm.

Buy San Diego Swag!

What do the San Diego Chargers look like?

Team colors are navy blue, powder blue, gold, and white. Their current uniforms look like this.

 

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 San Diego Chargers including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

Denver Broncos – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – American Football Conference (AFC)
• Division – AFC West
• History – Despite winning the first game in AFC history, Denver Broncos history can be divided neatly into two halves: the first being wildly unsuccessful and the second being largely successful. The Broncos were founded in 1960 but didn’t have a winning season until 1973 and didn’t make the playoffs for the first time until 1977. Since 1975 the Broncos have won more than they have lost in all but six seasons.
• Championships – The Broncos have won two championships, in consecutive years in 1997 and 1998. In ’97 they beat the Green Bay Packers 31-24 and a year later they beat the Atlanta Falcons 34-19.
• Rivals – Kansas City Chiefs and Oakland Raiders

By now, the Denver Broncos have shed their reputation as one of the winning-less teams in football to all but the most past-oriented football fans. Their sustained success throughout the 1980s, 90s, 2000s, have washed the slate clean. What’s left is a powerhouse but not a dynastic franchise. They’re often among the best teams but they rarely seem to win the Super Bowl. Like all sports teams in Denver, the Broncos benefit from playing their home games at an elevation of around a mile above sea level. This gives the Broncos players, who are accustomed to exertion at high altitude, an advantage over their opponents who can often be seen gasping for breath. An additional effect for football is that balls can be kicked much further than in other stadiums. The NFL record for field goal distance — 64 yards — was set by Broncos kicker Matt Prater in 2013. He surpassed four kicks of 63 yards, two of which were also set in Denver’s Mile High stadium. Although people often associate Colorado with snow, Denver is one of the sunniest cities in the country and the weather for football games is often quite good, even late in the season.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the Denver Broncos?

John Elway is the most prominent person in Denver Broncos history. Coming out of Stanford University in 1983, he was the consensus number one draft pick in that year’s draft. The only problem was, that pick was held by the Baltimore Colts (who eventually moved to Indianapolis) and Elway was determined not to play there. It’s rare for a player to have any say in where he plays but because Elway was also a highly regarded baseball player who had been drafted by the New York Yankees in the second round of the 1981 Major League Baseball draft, Elway had some bargaining power. The Colts drafted him anyway but he was eventually successful in forcing a trade to the Denver Broncos, one of his several preferred destinations, before the season began. He played for the Broncos for his entire 16-year record setting career. A dual threat at quarterback, Elway could run and pass, but despite taking his team to the Super Bowl three times in his first 14 seasons, entering the 1997 season he was a 37 year-old who had never won a championship. Who knows how his career would have been remembered if the Broncos had not won two straight Super Bowls before Elway retired? As it stands, he’s remembered as one of the greatest ever to play the position and one of the few who got the storybook ending of retiring directly after a Super Bowl win. In 2011, a little more than a decade after retiring, Elway rejoined the Broncos as an executive. He quickly became the de-facto most important person in the organization, making all important personnel decisions for the team.

Floyd Little was the Broncos one shining light during their dark period. A running back and kick returner, Little played for the Broncos for nine years from 1967 to 1975 and was team captain for all nine years. Known simply as “the franchise,” his nickname may have a larger grain of truth in it than most. In the team’s Wikipedia entry, Little receives credit for being “instrumental in keeping the team in Denver.” He was elected into the NFL Hall of Fame in 2010.

Where do the Denver Broncos play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a Denver Broncos fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

The Broncos fan is supremely passionate without quite reaching the levels of insanity that fans of other football teams sometimes reach. Maybe it’s the weather, which is 70° and sunny one minute and 25° and snowing the next, that suggests that success and failure are both profoundly temporary. Maybe it’s the Colorado culture which emphasizes getting outside and biking, skiing, hiking, or mountain climbing yourself more than watching other people sweat that makes what happens on the field just one iota less important. Or maybe it’s the marijuana laws… who knows? This quality doesn’t make them bad fans, and it certainly won’t hurt your chances of having a positive first date.

What will make a Denver Broncos fan squirm?

The easiest way is probably to talk about how much the consistently snowy winter weather effects their team. As we know, this isn’t the case in Denver! Another good way would be to slight John Elway in some way. That man is a god to Denver Broncos fans!

Buy Denver Broncos Swag!

What do the Denver Broncos look like?

Team colors are orange, navy, and white. Their current uniforms look like this.

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 Denver Broncos including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.

One of the most disconcerting aspects of traveling to a country whose language you don’t know is how the most commonplace things become indecipherable. Ask a stranger for directions and she may think to explain tricky vocabulary but she’ll almost never think to describe whether the place she just referred to is a city, train station, library, cafe, or all of the above. The same is true for sports natives. A thoughtful sports fan should be willing and able to explain a rule, but he’ll almost never think of explaining who a particular team is, what sport they play, or the team’s history and characteristics. In this series, we’ll do just that — describe what is unique about each sports team.

Oakland Raiders – the basics

• Sport – Football
• League – National Football League (NFL)
• Conference – American Football Conference (AFC)
• Division – AFC West
• History – The Oakland Raiders history began inauspiciously in a number of ways. After a fan contest to win the team turned up the name Oakland Señors, the team went back on their promise to abide by the results of the contest. The last of eight teams to join the American Football Conference (AFC), they got the mouse’s share of the talent available. During their first three seasons, they went through three head coaches and only won a total of nine games. From 1982 to 1994, the Raiders played in Los Angeles before returning to Oakland.
• Championships – The Raiders have won three Super Bowls – in 1976, 1980, and 1983 beating the Vikings, Eagles, and Redskins
• Rivals – Kansas City Chiefs, Denver Broncos, San Francisco 49ers

The Oakland Raiders are one of the most culturally important and interesting sports franchises in the world, and certainly the NFL. One could say that the Raiders are a strong symbol of counter-cultural rebelliousness, but that doesn’t go far enough. The Raiders are nihilistic and not in a gentle way. During their heyday, the Raiders intimidated opposing teams like no other opponent. It felt like they would win football games only if they got slightly distracted from their core purpose in life, the ruthless domination of every other entity in the known universe.Their teams were and still are cobbled together from the discard pile of the universe. The Raiders are happy to take risks on personnel other teams shy away from — legal problems, discipline problems, or simply oddballs. During the last fifteen years, the Raiders have been among the worst teams in football but despite that, they’ve never sunk quite as far as some of their low-lying brethren. No matter how much they lose, the Raiders mystique lives on, diminished, but still frightening.

Here is the their winning percentage in each season since their inception:

Who are some notable players or figures from the Oakland Raiders?

Al Davis is the most important figure in Oakland Raiders history. He was arguably more important to his team than anyone has ever been to a football team. He became the Oakland Raiders coach and general manager in 1963, before the team’s fourth season. Davis was 33 years old and would spend the rest of his life, until his death at 82, creating and embodying the myth of the Raiders. By 1966, he was part-owner of the team. In the late 1970s and early 1980s, he was part of three championship teams. While this was happening, in the the early 1980s, he sued the NFL, (while being an active owner!!), after the league tried to stop him from moving the team to Los Angeles. He won.

Winning was the only thing for Davis. That seems trite and obvious to write about someone in sports, but it was more true for Davis than anyone else. Davis’ philosophy is neatly summed up in his most famous quote, “just win, baby” and his second most famous, “the quarterback must go down, and he must go down hard” which neatly expressed how little he cared about anything that might get in the way of winning (like humanity or sympathy.) He didn’t seem to care about anything else. This somewhat ironically allowed him to be a ground-breaker in a number of ways. He was the first NFL owner to hire a black head coach and a female executive.

His attitude and acts led him to be widely vilified while he was alive, but following his death in 2011, his image has softened and his reputation as an important figure, if not always a likable one, has recovered somewhat.

Where do the Oakland Raiders play?

The blind date test

Imagine you’re about to go on a blind date and all you know about the person is that he or she is a Oakland Raiders fan. Here’s what you can guess about that person. Remember that all fans are unique. We bear no responsibility for any misunderstandings we engender. Trust but verify.

First of all, expect the date to happen in a heavy metal or hard-core rap club. Your date will be wearing black leather, probably studded with metal. They will have a colorful past. Raiders fans can be good people, but just by the fact that they’re Raiders fans, you know they enjoy having an air of badness. Expect, tattoos, piercings, and kink.

What will make a Oakland Raiders fan squirm?

Suggest that the Raiders are just a team like any other now and not a very good one. The Raiders haven’t won for long enough now that the thing their true fans dread more than anything else is not more losing but the loss of identity that would make them “just like any other” losing team.

Buy Oakland Raiders Swag!

What do the Oakland Raiders look like?

Team colors are black and silver. Their current uniforms look like this.

Current and recent teams

Coming soon — a post about the 2015 Oakland Raiders including an overview of their most interesting characters as well as what fans expect from the team this year.